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SooSad33

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SooSad33 last won the day on August 21 2021

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  1. Okay, well maybe not 'using you', but.. how is all of this BEHAVIOUR of his okay? Give yourself more credit & respect on what & how YOU should be treated. How do you see all of this? You seem to be caught up on this guy, yet he mis treats you... right? Someone who DOES want to be around you will show it. He's messed up! You say you not longer talk much, that its you do all of the work, etc. Then he blocks or ghosts you? Nope, I'd be done with someone like this! Simple. A healthy relationship is not like this! I'd say he's not that into you .. sorry šŸ˜• . Move on. Give him nothing anymore. ( unless you are okay with this kind of thing, but if you were, I doubt you'd be here) šŸ˜‰ . ( Look at your headline, you are feeling foolish & stupid)...
  2. He's full of it. He's basically using you and I call this a fwb. Just around when he wants some. That isn't love! And how can you love someone you won't talk to? šŸ˜• He's a conniving idiot! Ignore and avoid him from now on. Be stronger than this and NEVER chase anyone for attention. IF they're interested , you'll know it. Be done now. No more games.
  3. There you go! So, he's not trying at all? is just you reaching out now? Then stop. IF he's truly into you, you'll know it. Yup, I had a fwb years ago, we'd meet up every couple of weeks for a weekend, where we'd do take out & drink. I eventually faded away after about 4 months as I wasn't into it anymore. So, yeah a guy can gladly 'have fun', and have no feelings for you that way. ( not all guys, but it is common) . Also make note of 'rebounds'. It happens when someone is trying to get over a failed long term relationship and isn't there yet, so they'll sleep with anything that gives them attention kinda thing, lol. Sadly, those can hurt šŸ˜• .
  4. IF you do take him back. YOU need to make things clear FIRST. If you are against sex before marriage, he needs to know this. And anyone who dates people like this, should be informed and respect that fact. You don't owe anyone anything just because you had sex.... I dated others before I married and then in time didn't work out. Stuff happens. Life experiences and by sounds of it you're still young. so be easy on yourself , think for yourself and be honest to yourself and anyone you choose to date.
  5. So, he's manipulating you and is causing guilt and mind f**k, pretty much, right? And when someone has a go at you & turns around to say 'oh I was just joking'.. remember there's always a little 'truth' in a joke. Guilt trips! First off, people ARE often aware of their own behaviour! Sadly, YOU are just allowing it šŸ˜• . I spent almost 10 yrs with an alcoholic. I tried my best with him but ended up realizing I could NOT save him and he had plenty of time to smarten up - he never tried. We split up. My next long term also fell apart as the last 2 yrs with him were irate! I also, spent a lot of time walking on eggshells and believe me, it's NOT worth your sanity! šŸ˜ž . So, it's maybe time to throw in the towel. You get out of there and tell him you're done! No more guilt ridden fights, assumptions, nothing! You then get a lawyer and work out visitation, child support etc. Just remember, you NEED to be strong in this.. Not feel bad. But be the bigger person here. He's ruining you! These kids need stability and happiness - positive in their lives. Not mom being belittled by dad for whatever reasons he's behaving this way.
  6. Okay, in your first paragraph, you admitted that you've always felt a sense of disconnect and lonliness. I am guessing this guy 'fills that void', for the moment. He has no real feelings for you right now. You've only just begun ( 4 mos ago). Women feel way earlier than men do. And they'll gladly use you for all you've got if you let them! ( sex does not bring them closer), which is why some prefer fwb. No expectations & can continue doing whatever they want w/out responsibility. So, yeah, at this time it's all 'lust'. A healthy relationship has good communication, trust, ability to work together , give and take and just have it build naturally over time - then you can admit you're both grounded and you are both in this. I have a feeling you're not feeling it... and his response shows he isn't either. So, is best to decide IF he's worth the chance you're taking. If you're at all in doubt don't wait too long on admitting it and walking away.
  7. Why don't you just send him a DM and have a bit of a chat first? Then consider mentioning maybe another 'movie'.. just the 2 of you - or meet up for a coffee? You hafta get to know him more one way or another. You really don't even know IF he is already involved or anything. Maybe a coffee meet, you will learn a little more of these things, then go from there.. ( make note: If he admits he is freshly out of a relationship or marriage, don't even thin twice- walk away.. lol ). Believe me, you don't want to be a rebound šŸ˜‰ .
  8. Well, by sounds of it, doesn't it sound like this is too much? WHY would you two get married with so much negative - and no stability? šŸ˜• Maybe it's best now to just admit this isn't working out and remove yourself from the equation. Why live a miserable life? Get out of it .. Move on.... find yourself and aim at a happier life! That, you can do šŸ˜‰ .
  9. YOU view yourself as the source... but are you? Or is this them laying blame on you? Do they start the fights most of the time? Are there reasons you two are always fighting? Also, how long have you been together? All you mentioned was you two are to be married this year. IMO, so far, is you two just aren't meshing well at all anymore and there's too much tension in the air. Maybe you two have just distanced and for good reason. If this is how it is, not always a lot one can do but work on accepting what is. ( and please don't feel guilt re: the kids... If she agree's something can be worked out to where you can still do something with them on occasion- but that's not the big deal right now).
  10. I suggest you move on. Usually if someone is into you, you'll know and she's had numerous chances to do so. Also the fact that she's had a kind of 'recent' BU of a long-term relation. She's probably not ready or truly interested in getting involved again.
  11. Halle Berry, YOU have yet to respond to all the above responses. How do YOU see it? IMO, I'd suggest you do not get involved with him then. If he's already admitted uncertainties, then it is NOT worth getting emotionally invested in such person. I wish I did at one time, instead of wasting my mental & emotional energy on a guy like this for too long šŸ˜• .
  12. Sorry to hear of all your challenges šŸ˜• . It can be quite challenging sometimes for kids at your age.. but you need to learn and just try to keep moving ahead. IMO, she is not for you. She distanced from you & dumped you, don't go taking her back because this other guy wasn't 'good enough'. I just feel you two have distanced now & it'll never be the same šŸ˜• . Then work on accepting it and move on. Maybe it's best to just stop dealing with her all together so you CAN work at moving on. No need to keep contact anymore. She's now in college and living a new life & experience. As for your parents, yah, they are ridiculous! šŸ˜• . You're not 10 yrs old anymore. You're now a Sr in school? Maybe it's time to admit to them you are hitting adulthood and would like proper respect. ( or is it because you're a first child/ oldest?). Mine tried with me, but I never worked well with curfews etc, so they just gave up, lol. And please do not try & 'follow' this girl to that college, just because she is there. Do wht is best for YOU! Cause in the end, YOU are all you've got. šŸ˜‰
  13. Sounds like you two don't mesh properly nowadays & that was just the 'honeymoon phase'.... Maybe you be done now?
  14. I suggest you be careful here, cause in ways, you two kinda have a past. And often men & women do not mesh well when it comes to 'friendships'. One often 'expects' more than that. Maybe is best to chat on occasion as you do and expect nothing more. Your lives have changed and still is to this day.
  15. Nope, not cordial and no bond - except from your end, imo. He's a guy, in it for the fun, only! Remember that. ( he's a f*boy). Those ones do NOT get 'feelings'. And also remember this! He's an arrogant male. ( Not all men cheat and women are not H*res fps!). it was only over a 3 month time span. You will get over him.. and remember for next time re: FWB, they do not get emotionally invested, women do. šŸ˜‰ So, tread carefully.
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