confused89

Did any1 here ever use a love spell to get back with an ex. what are they and do they work. Just curious

its going to be building a friendship that is going to be the hardest along with keeping your self respect. just try to bump into him a few times and get talking a few times. maybe you could start texting each other again???

i agree. i think that after a break up you do need NC to repair your self and make yourself stronger. after whatever amount of time has passed it MAY be possible to win your ex back. but you reallly have to be strong. me and my ex broke up in june. that is why i was in this forum. but i have actually moved on. but at this point if i wanted to try to win him back i would. (this is all thinking, i have not done this, but i would actually be tempted to see would it work!!) date other people and make sure he finds out or make him think you dating other people look my absolute best if i was going somewhere there was a possibilty he would be look happy, happy, happy with life. always laughing, smiling, having a great time!! if i crossed paths with him i would smile, say hello and tell him i hope everything going good for him but make sure i end the converstion first and walk away. if he was with another girl i would also say hello and smile at her, not showing any jealousy!! and overtime i would try and build a friendship. i think this would take time as you dont want to push him/her into a frienship. you could accidently show up in places he may be. this would have to be places that you were at before. not places where it is obvious that you are there to try and see him. a few short converstions could build a sort of friendship again. maybe then you could start texting each other again. while you are building this friendship make sure you are happy with your life and only seem to want friendship. he/she cant know that there is a hidden agenda behind ths. try and think back to see what first attracted him/her to you. what kind of person were you at the start of the relationship. what attracted him/her to you in the first place?? try and show those traits in front of him. earn his respect. listen to him and be there for him. but not too much. do not under any circumstances become his doormatthis could actually be quite tricky. i have read that the main three things in a relationship are friendship, respect, passion. so you build a friendship with him( this may take time, he cannot see that you want him back.) you listen to him, talk to him, do fun things with him. but dont become a doormat. also have another life. make plans with him, but cancel at the last minute and pretend that something else came up, even if you are just sitting at home. continue to date other people. "people always want what they cant have!" make him think you there are a friend, a person that listens to him, understands him problems, but not always available to come running to him. he will have to fit into your busy schedule. does any1 else think that this could possibly work??

Hi Everyone. this is just a post to say how the dumper may feel. i am going to use my friend as an example. i am going to call her sarah. she was with a man for 3 years. she ruled the relationship. they broke up loads of times. (always her who broke it up). when she broke if off with him he would cry and beg ect every time and text her for a few days after the break-up telling her that he would love her forever, and wait for her etc. they did get back together loads of times. now my friend always knew that he was there waiting for her. and that she could go back to him anytime she wanted. its not that she did not have feelings for him, its just that she knew that he was always there waiting for her and that she could have him back whenever she pleased. they stayed broke up for a year and got back together in october. BUT HE HAS BROKEN UP WITH HER. she is unable to handle it. she cant really get out of bed. IT IS A COMPLETE SHOCK TO HER THAT HE HAS DUMPED HER. IT HAS MADE HER REALIZE THAT HE IS NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE THERE. my point is, would it help at all if you tried to shock your ex like this. does your ex always think that you are there in the background, waiting for him, and that he can go back to you whenever he wants. if the answer is yes, you could make him think that this is not true. you could date other people, if he sees you look like you are having time of your life, if you meet him (no matter how this breaks your heart) give him a big hugh smile, tell him you hope he is doing. you end the converstation and walk away from him. make him think that you are not there in the background waiting for him, but rather moving on and having the best time of your life. my friend and this guy broke up so many times, she was always the dumper and the break up did not effect her as she was the one doing the breaking up. she would go out, date other people, have a great time and go back to him whenever she was bored as she knew he was always there and would always take her back. but now that she realizes that he is not always going to be there in the background it has given her a big hugh shock and she feels like she has got punched in the stomach. my point is do not let your ex think that you are there waiting for him, you have to make him think that you are moving on with your life and you dont want him never mind need him. it may just be the shock that he needs so he can see what he threw away!!

maybe she does not know what she thinks and just needs time and space to figure it out. have you been speaking to her since you broke up? maybe if you give her some time to think about it and figure whatever she is thinking she may come back to you. she may see that the grass is not always greener on the other side.

i dont know if he has any interest in starting up again. it has been about 7 weeks since we were talking. we were talking once after the breakup but it was awkard. it was not bitter though. i know he never had a relationship with any other girl like he had with me. we were friends (not overly close ) before we started going out. his father walked out on his mother and brother and sister when he was only 3. his mother has been an alcoholic since and he has not had much of an upbringing. until me he treated girls really badly and always cheated on them. but then we got together. i think i gave him support and belief in himself that no one had ever done before. we had a deep friendship and a lot of respect for each other. i saw a side to him that not many people have before. it was like he let the big front he puts on in front of people down. i know he never two timed me but i think that things got very intense and i got clingy etc which scared him off. i dont want to contact him. in fact i have been avoiding going places where i know he is going to be. i am getting much stronger as every day passes and i hope that in about a month i may contact him and try to start a friendship again and show him that i am the person i was at the beginning of our relationship and not the needy clingy person i was at the end of it. do you think that this is a good idea?

It was more the material things that i was on about here which i know dont actually matter. i have a car, house etc. He gave me all the emotional support that he could possibly give me. i know that because even his friends said he treated me like he never treated a girl before me. i really do think that the realationship ended when it was not ready to end. he got new things in his life which made me insecure and i got very clingy. and the more clingy i got the more distant he got. and then he finished with me in the middle of a fight. i said things i shouldnt have said and didnt really mean. we never got around to sorting out or even talking abou the fact i was getting clingy and he was getting distant. it was only a problem for around 2 weeks. but the day after we finished we were civil to each other and we always said we'd be friend if we ever broke up. but i am not contacting him more so i can heal my self and i know that i would not be able to be his friend at this point. its just something is telling me to hold on to the hope that he will come back. i have never been like this after a relationship before. i am just wondering do people think i am holding on to something that will never happen?

But i have to agree that the no contact rule is a good idea and should be put in place from the very beginning if possible. i did not do the begging and pleading to get him back and at least now it has gained me some self respect. and if you are just fresh out of a relationship and begging your ex or considering begging your ex because you think that it may make him/her take you back do you not think cutting off all contact with them would make them want to take you back more. and the no contact rule is defently making me stronger and more confident. i am getting on much better not seeing him at all than if i did see him. i may be avoiding him now but as i am building my confidence back up hopefully i will be able to handle it correctly when i do see him again.

My boyfriend finished with me around 2 months ago. I’m 18 and he is 17 We went out for 7 months. He was more in love with me at the beginning. But then I feel for him and was just as much in love with him as he was with me if not more! We were together during all our spare time (was not a good idea I know) Situation changed, he got a new job and new friends and I got insecure which made me NEEDY and CLINGY!!! I know at most he was only considering finishing with me for 2 weeks. Not actually decided. He finished with me in the middle of a fight. I have not asked him back since we finished, we only text a few messages the days after the break up – none of them bitter I have not had any contact with him since. I did 80% of the giving in the relationship – not that I minded, I had more to give than he had. He still give me all he could. We did not really fight. Only had a few minor problems. I know he is dating other people now but none of them are seious Do you think that I have any chance of getting him back or am I hoping for something that is completely out of reach?