enchanter

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four months now. This is his first serious relationship, and my third. Im also the first person he has had sex with. After my last relationship ended I planned to be alone for a bit, spend time with myself, and reflect. When I did date again I wanted to avoid being with a virgin, or someone who had not had a relationship. Of course because I didnt want that, I met an awesome guy who was both a virgin and forever single. We clicked, and from there everything happened rather fast, and I love him very much, but I just feel there are things I didnt know when I should have. In the end I want to ask what your views on dating a beginner are. The reason I didnt want date someone who had not had a relationship is because I feel that it will end because he will sooner or later want to experience something else. He does not know how to handle many things, and I try to help him, but at the same time the reason that I wanted to avoid this is so I could try to find a very solid new relationship. Has anyone gone through something similar? I would like to hear about it.

Normally I run to my journal and make private entries when something makes me so upset as to cry, but I am here to possibly find someone else with any experience in this situation. I come from a family that is not close. I dont go to my parents. I dont love my family. I could never see them again and not mind. This is something that wont change. We exist together, and that is all. We act like a normal, and do things as they are expected, but there is no love. I went off to college this year, and it is costing a lot of money. I have an incredible amount of loans. I will owe a lot when I am done. I broke down when I go there because I disliked my school very much. I spent a lot of time at my best friends school. My parents had wanted me to be an engineer so I was. I failed the first semester. I am extremely into art and english, and I was never good at math or hard science. My mom comes in tonight and asks what my problem is. The world thinks I am depressed, and occasionally I am. She then wants me to write down ten questions. I have no idea about what. I have none to ask. My mom is the type of person who feels she has never done a thing wrong in her life. She will always find a way to be right. In the end it only led to her not being close with anyone. They only care about money and success. They want me to appreciate them for what they never were. I had been dying to leave my house for years, and being back for break just reminds me of how I never want to come home again. I love being away, and I just feel horrible when I am here. I really just want anyone who has come from a family who was not close to reply. Or anyone with a college debt or story and how it ended. Im just upset right now and talking is keeping me occupied.

Your right there are a lot of girls who do anything to keep a guy. Ive noticed in my highschool that when I was a freshman and a sophmore girls had a higher amount of respect for themselves. But the freshman that came into my Junior year did any just to get a guy. Horrible things. I think girls are losing more and and more respect for themselves. The sad thing is girls are getting into this behavior really early. Even in grade school.

For the record this is my friend. I did however spend a few close days to him last summer where we did kiss. After summer he went away to college so nothing between us ever happened. He had this dream and was opening up last night. Im not sure I believe dreams have meaning but interperet it for him. Him: a majority will see what they did wrong, some wont.....hopefully, they'll perish... idol ink: yet for now your stuck here with all the people idol ink: who probably wont perish for a long while Him: ......the end is sooner than you think...i think idol ink: hmm is this a theory you have? Him: i had a dream the other night, i was pulling you out of a building and into a truck, and we drove through water and i got us to high ground with some people we knew and others we didn't Him: after i had things settled there, i made sure you were ok, took the truck to save more idol ink: that sounds like something out of deep impact Him: the water was knee deep Him: and it was pouring Him: homes were flooding Him: what happened was, something hit the water, but it turned into a small wave by the time it got to us idol ink: thats an insane dream Him: Him: i just hope it wasn't one of my "real" dreams, of the future idol ink: you ever do that? Him: because if it was, it looked as if it was within the next couple of years Him: Him: every other day or so i get deja vu.....anna says its because "i'm on the right track" idol ink: thats what ive heard it means as well idol ink: so you are lucky idol ink: i rarely get deja vu Oh and feel free to comment on the deja vu theory.

Its hard to find out the truth unless you ask someone close to her. Asking her is a good idea but not a definate answer because she could lie. My boyfriend lied to me and very well might I add so dont take it lightly. I found out because one of his friends told me. Are you close with people she is close to? Its a good place to start.

If you get the vibe the girl is interested you are more then likely right. As long as she doesnt seem the type to lead one on. Just be casual and ask for her screenname. Since talking online is less stressful it should come off as no big deal. If the girl is leaving soon I wouldnt get too attached though. Starting with distance probably isnt a good idea. Good luck ^.^

Bout the counselor thing, I dont have one. A few years ago I fell into a serious depression and refused help. I dont like telling people my problems. A few months later I got out of it myself. The next time a tragedy happened I was devastated and in a few months I work myself back to happy. Maybe its something Ive just come to be able to do. I dont think getting help would be a the right thing for me. Right now I dont have any serious problems really

I dunno I sometimes just think telling too much about yourself is a bad thing. People who dont care take it as annoying. I think letting most people think you are normal happy and confident is better then sharing your problesm to a world that can be quite uncaring.

Its very opposite of me. When I am angry or upset I cant eat. When I am happy I can relate. You arent bad. I weigh 120 at 5 4' and Im not happy with myself because I have been a lot better as well. Stuck on that image of perfect that you once found yourself in. It helps to write down what you want of the day, or to meditate at the beginning of the day. It may sound crazy but there is something that gets into your mind when you state what you want at the beginning of day and achieve it at the end. It helps you emotionally to eat but think to the future about how it will make you feel later. Be healthy. I have the same habit of eating food I dont need.

Be gentle dont rush or anything, it coul dmake it awkward. I think soft and slow is good for just kissing your boyfriend or girlfriend. Or at least a nice way to start until you find out how you prefer to kiss. Try to keep it dry, I kissed one guy who was a horrible kisser, and made you feel sort of nasty. Try not to rush and force because I dont think its a good place to start. Try not to sweat it, it comes naturally really.

I tend to write in my journal about it. I dont think I really like people knowing how Im feeling. If I need advice I come here for anything because advice from stangers is more then likely more helpful because they have no emotional attachment.

I hate my smile.

Anyone who I hang out with or talk to a lot always mentions how they could never see me sad. Never see me being upset. I am always extremely happy and positive when I am with people. Either that or Im quiet and calm. Never sad. I am upset a lot though. The thing is I can never be serious with anyone but my boyfriends or occasionally my best friends. I tend to deal with things on my own. A lot of people say the always being happy trait makes them feel better. At the same time I wonder if its bad for me not to let out more how I am feeling. So this is sort of a poll. Do you think its better to laugh through life, or express your emotion constantly? I think laughing is better, and opening up to very few, leaves some mystery to you.

First thing, you are 14, life barely has opened. I understand most people who really want to kill themselves do go through a lot at home, or have has some horrid occurrence. You cant dwell on those thoughts, or feelings. If something is wrong at home then there are many things you can do to report, or try to change it. I knew a girl who commited sucide a few months ago. She would have been damned surprised at the amount and who showed up to pay respect at her funeral. Sadly enough she had a little sister who is lucky she didn't walked in on her choice of hanging. Someone in her family had to walk in on that. Do you want someone walking in and finding you in some horrid way? Its cruel. I just feel as if people who want to hurt themselves spend no time trying to improve themeselves. Ive been severely depressed and gotten out of it myself, after stupidly refusing to get help. You learn a lot when you overcome things like that. You can be happy by yourself, its the first place to start. Think a little more. . .I doubt someone will give you advice to cut here, people are just a lot more focused on helping you from that action and theres a good reason why. Hope things turn for the best

My current boyfriend was wonderous for the first few months, then turned into that horrible boyfriend you speak of. Never called, always out and he even cheated on me. When I found all of it out and told him I didnt need that in my life, he dropped everything and now he is great. I believe that some people deserve another chance because he completely rearranged his life and got rid of the bad influences. I do think a lot of nice guys get the bad end of things. Personally Im very drawn to nice guys and have learned the bad boy is nice to look at but not to be with. Something nice guys tend to do is always say they get thrown aside. If a girl does that, why would you want to be with her anyway? Everyone finds someone eventually.