NH

Well we had a massive blow out - I knew she had lied to me about going out the other day, it was just to somewhere local but she would not take the kids even though I was working - she had said she got stuck in traffic - I suspected something and I know its wrong but I checked her phone and there it was a 45 minute telephone call. Well she had acted strange all day and then the argument started....the phone call came up... and she told me about another secret she had - someone local had been "after her"...she wouldn't tell me who.. but told me "her head had been turned" but she hadn't done anything about it yet - sound familier? The argument continued til late in the night and started again the next morning - a lot came out and the long and the short of it is that we eventually ended up in bed making love!...and the outcome being that she still loves me - she doesn't "fancy" me as much as she used too but is willing to try again and rekindle this !!!!! So heres to hoping that this is real from both sides of the relationship - We have some issues to deal with but then who doesn't. I've got to learn to trust her again for a start - and got to believe that this is really what she wants. For the first time for weeks my head doesn't hurt and we seem like a family again.

Yes I've suggested counselling - she doesn't see what good it would do but hasn't completely rejected it. I've thought about moving out for a bit and giving her space but the problem is I work from home and moving out would need serious movement of computers filing cabinets etc. which makes it seem too permanent. The other problem is we have a holiday booked next week and she wants us to still go on it - but she is so cold to me most of the time .... except when she suddenly becomes the old K she was (usually in the bedroom). I know she is still contacting people taking secretive phone calls etc. I can hardly work - don't eat or sleep anymore and just keep breaking down all over the place - so far I've managed to avoid it in front of the kids and family but I dont know how long I'll manage that for. I think any self respect I once had disappeared a while ago - I know its the wrong thing to do but I've begged...pleaded and pleaded - I feel awful and about a millimetre tall but after all that I love her completely (she is the only girlfriend/love/wife I have have ever had or want)

We've been married 11 years - most of them very happily. In the last few years we've had a run of bad luck, starting with my wife losing a baby. After this we had problems but she became pregnant again and we had our third girl. R is now 3 years old and very demanding/naughty taking lots of our time. As well as this we've had a house sale fall through, my wife had a serious illness, my mum had a cancer scare and most recently major changes with my work life have caused me massive stress and worry. My wife now says that she is bored, wants more in her life and that doesn't include me being married to her. She says she still loves me and doesn't want to hurt me. I am still madly love her and can't contemplate life without her. She is now chatting to men online and says she couldn't say that she wouldn't "wander" in the future. I will do anything to get her back to how she used to be and be the happily married couple we once were. WHAT CAN I DO??