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CATLOVER

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  • Birthday 06/30/1971

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  1. Um I know exactly what you are talking about and in the end the spark was just not there for me physically....sometimes a woman can warm up to a man.....its not impossible...but i found when I felt like you it just didnt happen that way for me...goodluck
  2. Actually it sounds like you have already answered yourself.....your not happy and have said you dont feel like your getting your needs met. Look its not your fault she has a problem and really she is the only one that can help herself. Is she getting professional help or just expecting you to do all the support work......if she is not getting help, whats going to change? I know what this situation is like, I tried to be support and help to someone with a few big problems and all I ended up feeling like was a washed out rag.....I felt like I was being sucked dry and the person because of all their dramas couldnt seem to return any support. I felt like their mother in the end and when I asked myself if thats what I wanted....the answer was no I didnt. Its a two way street.... best of luck, dont feel bad about needing something for yourself.......
  3. Yes its a hard position...but you know what you want right now and thats the main thing. Its not your fault, its always a risk when entering a relationship that one person needs to exit at some stage. He is now learning this....we all have to learn it at some stage. Please dont feel bad...you are doing the right thing for yourself and for him if you feel it is over for you....although it might not feel like it right now. As was said above you cant control if he does anything to himself and you cant just placate and be with him so he doesnt...thats not right either. So hold your ground. Is there anyone he is close to.....like a parent or friend you could have a private talk to. Maybe telling someone he is close to that you are worried about him and could they help him or keep an eye on him....maybe then you can know you did all you could and hopefully feel free of the situation.
  4. Uugghhh.....Horrible feeling isnt it. I dont want to be with you but I dont want to completely let go either...just in case. This is the meanest of all situations I think and know EXACTLY how it feels. Its confusing...one part of you wants to protect yourself and the other part misses them so much you feel like taking what ever is offered. But thats what NC is about...because she is gonna turn up , chat to you, flirt with you, and then say when you feel like she is giving you all these signs....No I told you I dont want to be together and then your gonna feel even more like crap. Trust me becasuse Ive done it all a million times before......NC is the only way until your feelings have diminished....dont do it to yourself. Tell her she cant come because its not what you want at the moment and that youll let her know when your ready for contact.
  5. He shoved you??? Thats not on no matter how mad or whatever he is.....just another sign he is not for you. You KNOW you can do better and have said it out loud yourself....so believe in that knowledge.....something better will come in time.
  6. Yeh I can understand everyone has there own feelings on this. And I still hold firm that I would prefer a man to cover the bill for a coffee the first time....the next time I would offer to get it. The thing is the guy I had a coffee date with today almost ran to the counter ordered his coffee....The lady looked at me and at him and said anything else and he just went nup...paid his money and almost ran over to a table and left me standing there. I was rather mortified to tell the truth and embarrased......it was just plain rude in my book and to me is a red flag of what would come later. Na...I just cant get past this one Im afraid.
  7. Yes thats how I feel exactly...this...whatever it was that happened this arvo just felt dead wrong.....This guy has straight out told me he is interested...so if thats the case then.....Im definitely at a loss......I underdtand guys might think and feel why should they have to pay....well I dont think they understand when a man looks after you its the way to feel if there is any romantic chemistry.....for me thats a part of it....I cant help it......What happened this arvo just makes me think ...this guy doesnt think Im worth the 3.00 for a coffee........
  8. Hi There, I havnt got OCD now but was displaying signs of it many years ago when I was about 16 through to about 19. I also at the time was suffering an anxiety disorder. I remember I just had to use blue pegs on the line , if I used the red ones it meant something bad would happen, I remember that one but there were other things I had to do to avoid bad things happening as well like sitting in a certain chair etc and it was a horrible feeling and it does control you I know. I thought I had gone nuts at the time.....the way I got over it was to read up on everything about it and I started challenging my thinking....I literally made myself do the things that I didnt want to. Like I used the red pegs and then waited for impending doom that i was sure would follow, and it never did...so I slowly got myself over it. I also cured myself of severe panic attacks. Understanding the problem inside out was the first step. But I think there are varying degrees of this problem and if yours is severe you may be wise to reach out for help because it will affect everything in your life.
  9. Hi everyone, Just want to see what others have to say on this topic. I have dated a fair bit over the years and I am maybe of the old school in that if I go for a coffee or drink with a new male aquaintance the male pays. I know men will feel this unfair...but to me its not about the money its about the male/female dynamic.....If I go for a coffee (and ok its like 2.50) and a guy just lobs up pays for his own and waits for me...I dont feel very special and I also feel like he is saying im not willing to share what I have. I just went on a coffee date and the guy rushed up to the counter ordered his own drink paid for it and rushed to sit down. So I ordered mine and payed and went and joined him but I have to say Ive never had that happen before...and have no idea what to think. Ive always had the man offer to pay or in alot of cases flat out refuse that I would pay.....sometimes a guy has paid and then if we are enjoying ourselves I will pay for the next drink. So its not that I am not willing to contribute.....I am more than happy.....but I would think he would at least order the drink and then split the bill. Oh I dont know...he is a bit younger so maybe the rules changed or something......Guys give me some views and let me know whats happening on your dates and what you think on the subject.
  10. That just plain weird and he seems to be a bit of a mental case.....just ignore him.....there is better
  11. That just plain weird and he seems to be a bit of a mental case.....just ignore him.....there is better
  12. Im not trying to freak you out......and only a test will tell for sure. The symptoms you describe could be a variety of things...BUT they are definitely signs of early pregnancy also......off to the chemist to buy a test for you....You need to know asap. Let us know the outcome...I have a feeling I know what the answer is
  13. Ummm sometimes making contact again and talking like friends can give closure to the whole love shock experience (getting throught the grief etc) and sometimes can start an honest friendship BUT you have to be so over it and have no hidden agendas and good boundaries and as mentioned above also have no expectations on how the contact will go. If you are fine with the fact he may not want any contact at all and also fine wiht the fact he may go...Oh hi, yeh I met the love of my life and getting married next week......then it will be ok, but if you know it will affect you......leave it for now. Only you know inside BUT be honest with yourself also P.S Wow isnt it amazing how wise and easy it is to give others advice and then when your in something cant do exactly what you advise other people. They say people teach best what they need to learn themsleves ......just a thought
  14. Yeh I have the same problem....and after too many infected ingrown hairs and now even some scars.....I give it a miss, its not worth all the problems. I just do the sides and umm bottom area...cause i cant stand a hairy butt on me...he he.
  15. Well im the opposite Im not interested in chasing....for me the dynamic feels wrong. When I was younger I hated having to be powerless and waiting for some guy to call....but now it doesnt bother me at all...because it gives vital clues about a guy for a start.....like if they say they will call at a particular time and then dont for a few days...that can tell me alot about a man.....also I dont wait for the calls....I just go out and live my life and if they call great and if they dont well I havnt wasted any time staring at the receiver and feeling all hurt and powerless. But thats just how it works for me, everyone is different.
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