newborn

I think I know from my experience exactly what you should do. Just be friends!!! Make sure of this and eventually if you can honestly look her in the eye and say, "you are so beautiful, so wonderful, let's take this further" then do it. DO NOT get with her just because she wants it. You will be misleading her. I am currently doing the same thing. I've been dating this girl for almost a year and we are VERY serious. I never wanted it to happen, but she was my first, and she is VERY awesome. I feel like I can't leave her but at the same time I don't think the feelings are there. I have been leading her on hoping that the feelings will come. They haven't come and I feel awful everyday. I know that I'm the only one who can change my situation and I'm trying to do it asap but I just don't know how. I can't get the nads to do it. I am extremely depressed and it is all my fault. I could go on for hours about this. Read my other posts on here for more info. I replied to your message and I'm the one that needs help!!! If there's anything I know it's this: Do not mislead her. Communicate with her everything you are feeling and everything you have said on this fourm. And somebody please help me People say to talk to her and tell her the truth about how I feel, but at this point that's impossible because I don't even know how I feel. I just need time to myself. Thanks.

Hi, I am in my first relationship. It's been almost a year. I'm 23. Since I had such a late start I feel like I'm a little behind the rest of most people. I love my gf but I still think I should be dating other women. I know every man is attracted to many women even if they do love there gf. But I look at my relationship as marriage without the official documents and I don't think I'm ready for marriage. I mean, a committed relationship has all the same rules as marriage for the most part. Am I making any sense here? People say that if I want to date other people then I'm not in love with my girlfriend. They could be right. But after being single for 22 1/2 years, I've built up a lot of curiosity and attractions to many different women. Am I just not ready for a serious committment? I'm not really interested in sex with other women (although that would be cool) but more of dating and finding out what kind of chemistry I get with different girls. I know it may sound like I'm not in love with my gf. But can there be another explanation for these feelings I have. In a way, I feel like I'm not letting myself fall in love because I fear the marriage-like committment. Any thoughts? Thanks.

Hi, I'm been dating this girl for almost a year. when we first started dating I wasn't into her that much, I saw her as a friend. We ending up sleeping together--she thought I liked her as more than a friend and she thought I was just shy. Really, I was scared of intimacy because I was a virgin, but shy not really. We had sex and I told her we should just be friends. She got very emotional, and I got very confused (I thought she just wanted sex. I actually tried to avoid sex so much, but she thought I was shy and she just had to get me over that hump. really I just didn't want it. I was pressured into it, but I except responsibility for letting it happen). So I went against my gut and continued the relationship, even though I wasn't into her much. I was almost 23 when that happened. Up till then I had been attracted to many girls and talked to many but could never get intimate with one even though I had say 10 to 15 solid opportunities. Here's my problem. My gf is in love with me. We never argue and get along great. I am just very confused with my true feelings for her. I may just love her as a friend. Or maybe I'm just curious about all those women I passed up that I was attracted to and women that I see around that attract me. It's very hard to just break it off with my gf because she is awesome in many ways. But I get the feeling that I'm settling down with a friend. Maybe I'm just missing that storybook side to the relationship. You know, love at first site, puppy love at first, etc. I have had these feelings of doubts for a while, every since I found out she was in love with me. Now I don't know what to do. I don't think these doubts will ever go away. Any advice? Please?

I thought I was the ONLY one to get into a situation like this. I'm sorry to hear that she slapped you, but I would take a few slaps after keeping the relationship going this long without talking to her. I'm VERY curious to hear more of your situation. I may talk to my girl tonight if I hear more of you situation. Or I may do the dinner, movie, sex ordeal and wake up tomorrow feeling the same way I've been feeling for months. What did you say to get slapped? Did you tell her EVERYTHING, INCLUDING the fact that you weren't feeling it from the start? That's the one thing that I really don't think I should tell her BUT that would be the most honest. How long did you date? How long did you live together? Were you still living together when you broke it off? Was she heartbroken? How are the 2 of you doing now? Please answer all of those questions if you can. You may be my last word of advice that could get me to go through with the talk. Thanks the help. Oh, and what made you want to break up with her?

I can't tell if I'm in love with my gf. I wasn't in love with her when we first got together. We were friends but the chemistry just wasn't there. But somehow we had sex (I was 22, she was my first. I thought she just wanted sex but it turned out that she had feelings for me and I just couldn't see it). I didn't want to be the typical guy and brake up after sex (I tried but she got emotional and I gave in) so I decided to try it out. It was my first ever gf. I had only kissed 3 or 4 girls previously. I always had a fear of intimacy even though I was a very smooth (and sincere) talker. This fear kind of made me resent my past since I hadn't had sex until a year after college. After finally taking that step into intimacy I felt that I could now search for the girl of my dreams, or at least have some serious fun. But I felt trapped in this relationship. The chemistry wasn't there but after a while I felt as if maybe I was just suppressing the chemistry because I wanted to live the "single" life that I was always kind of afraid of. It's now been almost a year together and I'm still having doubts. The girl is just about everything a man could want in a woman. Perhaps she's not funny enough for me and that's the whole problem with the chemistry. But she's almost perferct in every other way. I know she loves me a lot. And I care the world for her. But I feel as if I'm cheating myself and "settling" for someone that I wasn't attracted to in the beginning. It's been almost a year and a LOT has happened to bring up closer together. Everything happened WAY too fast. I'll keep the details short. We lived together after dating for 4 months. We lived together for 5 months and have been living apart for 3 weeks. We still see each other every day and sleep at one another's house almost every day (only 2 days not). I met her parents, she met mine, although that was under different circumstances too. Our parants just happened to be in town so it was natural for them to meet. I need her to know that I'm having these doubts, but I certainly cannot tell her that I didn't have feelings for her in the beginning. I feel like I need to take a break and date other people, but at the same time I feel like I will regret leaving her. I really need to talk to her soon but I really really fear that conversation. Any advice on how to approach her with this? She actually asked me the other day if I was still happy and if there were any issues. We were in a public place late at night so I told her I was fine because I didn't want to have the conversation then and there. Any advice at all on how to break bad news to her would be appreciated. I know there is no good way or "right" time, but I need some coaching on how to do this. this is my first and I think I may have to break her heart--and that is tearing me up inside.

never mind meant that after I wrote a very long message and read it a couple times, and then read some other posts, I realized that I figured out the answer to my problem. I tried to delete the post but couldn't figure out how. sorry for the inconvenience. but now I have another question: I can't tell if I'm in love with my gf. I wasn't in love with her when we first got together. We were friends but the chemistry just wasn't there. But somehow we had sex (I was 22, she was my first. I thought she just wanted sex but it turned out that she had feelings for me and I just couldn't see it). I didn't want to be the typical guy and brake up after sex (I tried but she got emotional and I gave in) so I decided to try it out. It was my first ever gf. I had only kissed 3 or 4 girls previously. I always had a fear of intimacy even though I was a very smooth (and sincere) talker. This fear kind of made me resent my past since I hadn't had sex until a year after college. After finally taking that step into intimacy I felt that I could now search for the girl of my dreams, or at least have some serious fun. But I felt trapped in this relationship. The chemistry wasn't there but after a while I felt as if maybe I was just suppressing the chemistry because I wanted to live the "single" life that I was always kind of afraid of. It's now been almost a year together and I'm still having doubts. The girl is just about everything a man could want in a woman. Perhaps she's not funny enough for me and that's the whole problem with the chemistry. But she's almost perferct in every other way. I know she loves me a lot. And I care the world for her. But I feel as if I'm cheating myself and "settling" for someone that I wasn't attracted to in the beginning. It's been almost a year and a LOT has happened to bring up closer together. Everything happened WAY too fast. I'll keep the details short. We lived together after dating for 4 months. We lived together for 5 months and have been living apart for 3 weeks. We still see each other every day and sleep at one another's house almost every day (only 2 days not). I met her parents, she met mine, although that was under different circumstances too. Our parants just happened to be in town so it was natural for them to meet. I need her to know that I'm having these doubts, but I certainly cannot tell her that I didn't have feelings for her in the beginning. I feel like I need to take a break and date other people, but at the same time I feel like I will regret leaving her. I really need to talk to her soon but I really really fear that conversation. Any advice on how to approach her with this? She actually asked me the other day if I was still happy and if there were any issues. We were in a public place late at night so I told her I was fine because I didn't want to have the conversation then and there. Any advice at all on how to break bad news to her would be appreciated. I know there is no good way or "right" time, but I need some coaching on how to do this. this is my first and I think I may have to break her heart--and that is tearing me up inside.

never mind. I like this site though. alot of good advice out there.