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sorryJason

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sorryJason last won the day on January 2 2006

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About sorryJason

  • Birthday 02/01/1977

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  1. Hey Jlee001! Just got back from the wedding rehersal, and had to send you a quick reply to thank you for you helpful words! I do kind of enjoy being single and dating, but it is hard when all your siblings have significant others!!! Oh well, thank you for the bit of humor about being a pimp! I am glad to hear from people who can give me a little booster when I need it!! And I am going to take your advice and going alone and seeing what might happen, and who I might meet at the wedding!! Mabye I will have some interesting things to post after the wedding!! You are awesome!! Thanks again buddy!!
  2. Hey Momene! Just home from my sisters wedding rehearsal, which was awesome!! Had to send you a quick reply to thank you for your reply! It is good to hear some encouraging words once in a while from someone who truly understands at least part of my situation!! I hope you have either found the woman of your dreams or are on your way to finding her!!
  3. Hello Everyone! I know it has been a long time, but I just replied to an old post, and it got me in the writing mood so...here it is. First an update, for those of you who kind of know me! I recently got full time at my job (a good government job!) I recently bought a brand new car and laptop and have been saving some money for a new house! I have many new friends at work, I have learned how to play guitar, and even written some songs, I have been working out and I am in better shape now than I have ever been in my life! My life is going great! And to top it all off, my sister is getting married on Saturday and I am super happy for her!! Things are going great for me! So why am I posting? read on.... A couple months ago, after a 2.5 month relationship, I had so many women interested in my I didn't know who to date (As a rule, I only date one person at a time). I went on a couple of dates, but none of them had any "spark" in them right off the bat. So, I have been talking to a couple of women online and on the phone, and they have wanted to meet me, but I have been more reluctant than ever to go on any dates. I am more popular than I have ever been, but I just feel like I will never find anyone that ever come close to my (long term) ex. Don't get me wrong, I know I will never see her again, I have ruled that out of my life(which is painful to say the least), and I do want a relationship, but I don't NEED one. So I am not really sure what is going on, these women really want to meet me, but I am very hesitant, even thought it is just a date, and God knows I need a date, I haven't been on one for about 2 months now!! But I just don't feel "it" anymore. Is my heart dead? Has my heart turned to stone? I don't know anymore, sometimes I dream of my ex just suprising me one day by walking up to me on the street, and us just jumping on a plane and eloping somewhere! Does that mean that I am not totally over her? I feel like I am, I know that she will never let me in her life again, so why do I still think about her? I have found that the best remedy for thinking about her is to date someone else, but is that wrong to do? Am I just using that other person so I don't have to think about my ex? Also another question I have been thinking about just recently, should I go alone to my sister's wedding, since I have no girlfriend at this time, or should I just ask one of my ex's to go?(not my long term ex of coarse!) Or should I ask one of the girls I am talking to? I have dropped hints and a few said they would like to go... The only person that I really want(ed) to go with was my long term ex, and really can't see myself there with anyone else but her. I am so far planning to go alone, but I would like everyone's advice on this one. Sorry for the long post, but I rarely post on here...thanks for any and all replies!!!
  4. Hello everyone, I don't know if anyone is even still looking at this post, but I thought I would reply to this to let you know my intentions with posting, and a little more of my story. The are many reasons I post one is self therapy I guess, I used to go back and read my previous posts and learn a lot about myself and how far I have come. This is kind of like my journal, but I mainly post for others to learn from my experience, just like everyone else!! This post was for that! I want others that might be in my situation(s) to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel, that things do get better. Another thing that you might have to take into consideration is that having many women interested in my at one time is a new thing for me, you see in high school I didn't date very much nor did I have my women that were interested in me, plus I came from a small town, so I didn't have much dating experience when I moved to the city. I met my ex in the city, well actually online, but as you can see I haven't had much dating experience... So I am excited to sort of "make up for lost time" as it were. I am not using this forum to get back at my ex, well maybe in the past, but I think I have gone beyond that, I wish her only the best in her life, I am certain that she is doing great in her life, she is probably already married with a child or something, and I would be happy for her if she is happy. Don't get me wrong, I miss her dearly and still cry sometimes when I miss her a lot, but I know she is better off without me. I do think that it is ok for me to use this forum to "vent" I don't use it very much. I haven't spoken with my ex's mother for a very, very long time, which is very hard for me, since she is closer to me than my own mother. I actually wanted to email recently because I had noticed a good job for her husband that he could get, but I held myself back, for both my sake and my ex's sake. Oh no!l, all this writing has made me want to post some more! I want to update everyone on my situation! But I guess that should be somewhere else, I am thinking of starting a blog..does anyone know a good site? Thank you all for your posts, and keeping me honest, please keep posting, I appreciate all posts, not just the happy, nice ones!!
  5. Hello everyone...I guess I don't get emails to when this posts get replied to. Mrocza, I am sorry you feel that way...I don't post alot on, and I don't know if my ex even does anymore. I think if I really wanted to contact her, I could, I think I am doing quite well with not contacting her. I have not talked with her mother in a very long time, even though her mother was very close to me. If she chooses to read these posts then it is her choice. I am sure that she knows my name on here, and I know hers, but I choose not to read her posts, because I know it will not help me move on. I think I am showing her how much I love(d) her, by leaving her and her family alone. That is a huge step for me! I am proud of myself for moving on! The reason I post here is so that others, if they know my story will have some sort of information, so help if they are in the same situation, just like everyone esle on this forum. Yes, I have said that I would leave these forums to her, but like I said, I don't read her posts, and it is up to her not to read mine. I am not using this as a tactic, I am guessing you mean to get her back??? I am beyond that, she is far away, and I love(d) her enough to leave her alone, and hope that she has a happy and that her live goes great. I hope you can understand. Momene, thank you for you advice, I have learned a lot about women in this last (almost) year, and myself for that matter!! I am glad that I have more experience with dating and life in general, and I am enjoying being in the dating scene, though I would like to be in a long term relationship again. I know that will come in time... I won't make this a long post...just wanted to reply and thank you all for your replies...
  6. Hello Everyone! It has been so long since my last post!! But I don't like to post here, I would like to leave this place for my ex to use, if she needs it, I would rather her not be affected by what I post on here. But anyways, I have to share some of the knowledge, which I have learned since she left me. I have learned so much!!! Part of me is glad she left me, because I have learned so much but I still can't say that it hasn't been painful, and it still continues to pain me to think about her. Not a day goes by where I don't think about her, at least a little, but it is at least bareable now, I don't cry myself to sleep (I know lame, but that is me!) Or pray to God that she will come back to me, but I think now that she will always be with me in some way, and I have learned to live with that fact. So, on to my little tid bit of knowledge, well, rather it is a warning, be careful what you wish for...you just might get it! I remember while I was with my ex I wished that I had dated more women before I met her so that I could be sure that I was making the right decision to marry her. Well here I am single, and I have too many women to keep track of!! I have told them that I am dating other women, and they are all fine with that! It is difficult to keep them all straight, but it is difficult to stop dating someone until you know that you don't have any kind of future with them, and for me that is the reason to be in a relationship with someone. So, now I have made up for not dating much in highschool, plus a bunch more! But it is really draining, mentally, physically and finacially to date many people at once, plus I always feel guilty dating more than one person, I feel like I am not giving each women enough time or enough of myself for them to really get to know me. Oh well, I guess I will deal with it!! All I can do, is all I can do! Oh yeah, beside that my life is going great!! I will probably be moving soon, don't know where exactly, maybe to a totally different job, anyone in Fort MacMurray on this forum? Kind of thinking about taking a job up there... Sorry if this is a long post...and thank you again anyone who replies...I don't reply to any replies because as stated before...I don't want to run into my ex on these forums...the less I am here, the less chance there is of that. Take care everyone, it does get better, take it from a super pessimist, turned extreme optimist!!! It just takes time!!! Oh yeah, and remember! you are not alone!!!
  7. Hello all!! It has been quite sometime since I have posted on here, but I thought I would try to give back to this wonderful site, which has helped me so much through the hardest thing in my life, losing someone very dear to me, though many faults of my own. (if you want to know my whole story feel free to search my user name, it is a long story) Well now, down to the tip. I have been really missing my ex again since Valentines day, but I have been able to deal with it until today, I thought I would go crazy, I have prayed to God almost every night(even though I am not very Christian) to let me forget my ex, to take away the memories that keep coming back to me, I have dated quite a few women, I have been to couselling, etc. All have been working. Until today, after breaking up with the 2nd serious relationship since the ex, and the 5th woman in total. I could not get her out of my head....I kept getting flashes of her smiling at me, the way she always did, no matter what I couldn't shake that image. So here is what I did, after finishing work at 1 am today, I went to the gym like I always do, and I worked out so hard that I was so exhausted I couldn't think of anything!!! So if you are in pain, I suggest working out until you are so sore that you can barely move!!! The pain of your muscles aching will occupy your mind!!! I feel a million times better now!!! And not only that since I have been going for the last 7 months I have dropped 2 pant sizes, lost 30 pounds and gained a ton of muscle!! All this coming from a guy who would go to the gym occasionally, but now I am a total gym freak! (well I wouldn't say total!) Try it, it helps, honestly, take it from one who knows. Sorry for the long post, take care, and remember you are never alone!!!
  8. Well here I am again, for those of you who have followed my sob story, this is not the update I was promising, which is why I have filed it here. I just got back from a funeral for my class mate, it was very hard, I now know why I never went to other funerals, that I was supposed to attend. The funeral really made me look at my own mortality, the guy was in my class, he was my age, I knew him quite well, he was a friend. And now he is gone, I was just partying with his sister the other weekend, I know her quite well. Why was I the only one who didn't cry at the funeral? I wanted to, but I couldn't bring up the tears, I felt dead inside, has all this therapy made me dead inside? Can I no longer feel extreme feelings, I tend to think not, as I still have other strong feelings. Staring at his coffin, all I could think of was my ex, and how much I still miss her everyday. How sick is that? I thought about how if that was me, would she come to my funeral? How sick am I? Have I no shame? Am I that self centered? I did all that was asked of me, talking with old friends and cousins, etc. But talking with them, most of them asking where my ex was, I guess they hadn't heard, some of them thought I was married! I made out like I always do, putting on a happy face and laughing it off, as I always do, but crying inside. I guess I just want to write this to get this out, I know I have not been the best person I could be, and know that, seeing that now, makes me hate myself again. It was like looking at my buddy's coffin makes me think of all the mistakes I made, what I could have done differently, if I had to do again. My life has changed so much in this last little while I barely recognize it, and now it is time for the biggest change, soon I will leave everything I know behind and start life again, with no mistakes, I will live each day, no each second, like it was my last. I will tell no lies, and make no enemies, hurt no one. I can only take one step at a time, but I will make those steps count. Thank you all for being here for me, I love you all.
  9. Oh my, thank you everyone for giving me such an ego boost! I really didn't think that post was all that great, I actually thought I started to get way of the original topic. I am glad if it actually helped anyone. renaissancewoman101, I am sorry to hear about your current situation, I would go on a road trip with you, at least just for company! I know how it is to be lonely, I was in a similar situation when I had to move out of my house. It was the only place I actually felt that was "home" in a long time, and I was asked to leave by my ex. It was very painful, I had to go through all of our pics and letters, and everything else. She did not have anything to do with moving anything out. It seems to be hard to live in a world where being single is not the "norm" society pushes us to couple up and have a family. We hear stories about how someone is so happy with their new family, etc and christmas time seems to amplify that pain. This was my first time in 6 years without having my ex with me, it was difficult to say the least, but I made it through! I actually had some fun, and I remember how I always had to try to make her feel at home at my parents, I always felt like I had to make sure she was taken care of at my parents, etc. Which made me feel a kind of "relief" that she was not there. (which is almost hard for me to believe now) I think both of us are lucky because it was a pivotal point in my life too, starting a new and exciting career. At first I was so hurt that she would leave me, but now I am glad that she did. I was not happy in our relationship and I would get depressed all the time, I would blame her for things that were really my fault, I always though, if only I had this or that, or if only I could get a good job, or when I moved into a house, or...well it goes on and on. I know realize that I have to make myself happy where I am. I have to appreciate what I have right now, and live my life to the fullest that I can. My ex has given me a totally new life, yes somedays I do still slip back to my old way of thinking, but most days I can't even recognize myself anymore! It is hard to not pine over the ex, especially at first, but as the days go on, you start to realize that they are not the only one who will love you, there are other people in this world besides them, it really helps to have good friends and family to be there for you durring the harder times, but for the most part you have to be strong for yourself. Don't be scared, be excited! This is a new start for you, you can become someone new! Just like me, you can re-invent yourself, become the person you always wanted to be, what is stopping you? I know how you feel sitting there all alone, looking at the life that has ended, all those memories that you can't let go of, and you know what? You don't have to let go of them, just put them to the side for now. Try to make new happy memories, and think about those new memories all the time, it has really worked for me, everytime I think about my ex, and all the happy times we shared and how much I miss her, I think of a new memory I have made since she left me, be it with a best friend, friends from work, or with some new people I dated. If I can offer you any advice and I know this is exactly what everyone else says, it will get better, time heals all wounds, and you will move on eventually. I used to think that is was all crap too, that it applied to everyone else but not me, but I realize now it is true. Take this time for yourself, do things you have always wanted to do, I am signing up for Scuba lessons! something I would have never thought of doing with my ex as she was scared of jumping into water. The best thing to do is to change yourself, better yourself, change you life into what you want it, don't expect the world to change your life, change you life and the world will change with it! Take care of yourself, keep posting, it does help, and always remember you are not alone!
  10. If you are really loved someone that you were with and if you spend a lot of time with them, they start to seem like family to you. Am I right? You are with this person and you do everything with them, or at least a lot, if you just spent a couple of months with someone, then this doens't really apply to you, but if you were with someone for years, then you do consider them part of you family. Now, imagine one of your family members(and I know this does happen in some families) telling you, I don't want you in my life anymore, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you, I don't even want to know you anymore. It would really hurt right? Actually in some ways your partner is even more close than you family, because you might have shared even more with your partner than you did with your family, eg, being physically intimate with your partner, pouring out you soul to them, tell them your deep dark secrets, etc. That is why it hurts so bad when they reject you, it is like they are saying I don't like who you are, you are no good, I don't like who you are as a person. For those of us with low self esteem, it hurts us even worse, we take it as a comment about the person that we are, but in reality, it has little on nothing to do with what type of person you are. The reality of it is that, it may be the dumper that is no good, or maybe you are just not compatible with each other, or well...it may be a whole lot of other things. You just never, know maybe it was something that you may never know. The only and best thing you can do, is honestly and objectively look at you past relationships, including the current one that is ending. Examine what went wrong on BOTH sides, and what YOU can do better next time, how you can improve YOURSELF in BEFORE you get into another relationship. There is nothing you can do about the other person, or how they feel, you cannot make them love you again, you have to move on. Take all that effort you are wasting on your ex and use it on yourself, and/or an new relationship. Remember they dumped you, they have to take the responsibility for ending the relationship, you are free from the guilt of have broken up with someone, you don't have to live with the regret and the thoughs, the what if's that is something they will have to live with for the rest of their lives! Just think one day, you are better than you ever were with you ex, and they see you doing so awesome, maybe, just maybe they will look at and think what they might be missing now, a good reason, (well maybe not the best, but some of us need this type of motivation) to improve yourself and your relationships!
  11. I know how both of you are feeling, I had been in a relationship with my ex for 6 years, I was about to ask her to marry me, then I made a final mistake and it was all over. If there is one thing I can tell you, is to take a lesson from every relationship you have, really analyse what happened what went wrong, don't ruminate over it though, just take it as a lesson. When you make a mistake you don't keep replaying it over and over right? Well don't do that with this relationship, think about what you did wrong, or what went wrong, and try your best in the next relationship to make it not happen again. Better yet, fix yourself before you get into a new relationship and then only when you are the best you can be, jump into the ocean and catch some new "fishes"! I have been watching a lot of movies lately and found some quotes that are relevent to our issues, "you find yourself wishing the one you loved never existed. ....So that you might be spared your pain" I am sure most of us that have lost someone special in our lives feel, but then again "why do we fall down? so that we can learn to pick ourselves up" As might be able to tell, both of these quotes come from Batman Begins, maybe it is just me, maybe I watched that movie at a time when I speicificly need to hear those lines, but I keep rewatching it and it always puts things into perspective for me. Ever painful experience we go through changes us, you have to learn from your experiences or they will just happen again and again. Sometimes I look back at the life I had with my ex, and cry for all that I have lost, but I also look forward and I am happy for all the oppritunity she has given me, all the lessons and experiences she has given me to take into the future so I can have an amazing future! I know most of you who read this and are in pain will be thinking that this is all crap and I agree most days I think the same thing, but then I will have a good day, like today, when things don't seem that bad, that I realize that spring is only a coupe months away and that the sun will rise again tomorrow! Keep on going, it will get better, I promise, just keep learning and working on yourself and I guaruantee* it will get better. *Not a guarantee(joke) Take care all you, and remember you are never alone!
  12. Update: for anyone who is still watching this forum. Sorry I haven't posted for a while, I have been busy and kind of depressed lately I hope that the person I broke up with is not reading this, but I guess I can't really help that anyways. Well I finally did it, I broke up with her on Thursday, and she didn't even flinch! She had just taken sleeping pills and she was kind of falling asleep when I told her that we were through, but I think she knew I was going to break up with her for a while now. I actually started crying a bit, but I held it in until I got to my car, geeze what a wuss, huh? I am glad that I am not holding her back though, she called me the other day to see if I wanted to go out for drinks, but I was working, she sounded a lot better than she had while we were dating, I think maybe I was bringing her down with stories about my ex. I am glad she is happier now. I just wish I could be! I know in the end I have to get myself fixed up once and for all, I have actually learned a lot of things in the last little while about myself. My major problems actually come from a major lack of self-esteem. If I ever want to have a normal life I have to work on getting a normal level of self esteem and self worth. Well, I should keep blabbing here, I just wanted to thank you all for your help and keep you updated.
  13. Right on! Totally doing the same thing in trying to deal with my break up, I am going to the gym almost everyday now, and I am looking into taking some supplements to bulk up, (any suggestions, please tell me) I am looking better than I have ever looked before! When I finish paying off my last loan, I am going to buy myself a new wardrobe, all my clothes are way too big for me now! I still remember my ex telling her mom that I was too skinny! Well she should see my abs now! I am getting totally buff now, I can actually see muscles! I think the point that quing is trying to make here is that when you get dumped you self esteem really takes a hit, and you have to do whatever you can to get it back, (well, within reason) and it is a good thing to do to look good, you end up attracting more people to you, and then you move on, and that is what it is all about right?
  14. If you think about it the worst thing you could have done is stay with the person that you broke up with, right, so you did the right thing for both of you, maybe it would help to think about it like that. As the dumpee, I was very hurt by my ex breaking up with me, I am still dealing with the extreme changes that happened because of the break up but I am glad that she broke up with me, especially if it was for her, yes that is right, I am glad that my ex was being selfish for once in her life, if she hadn't things would have probably gotten worse for both of us, maybe not. The point here is that if you stay with someone you don't want to be with, then you are just hurting yourself and the person you are with, right? Eventually the other person will come to see that it is the best thing for you two to be apart, if not forever, then at least for now. The fact that you do feel regret shows that you actually cared about the person that you were with, and that you are not a shallow person. You say that it wasn't a healthy relationship right, well, if it wasn't for you, then it was for your partner either, not matter how much they try to deny it. Take care, be strong, you are not selfish.
  15. What is it with these numbers, 6 years, this July? Everyone seems to be in the same boat as me! Well maybe not exactly the same boat, but at least I don't feel alone here. tihast, I am sorry to hear about your scenario, can I ask, why didn't you ask her to marry you after 6 years of being together? I ask so maybe I can understand why I never asked my ex after 6 years of being together as well, and I am still wondering why I never asked her to marry me, maybe we are similar in some way. The only and I emphasize the only thing you can do is take care of yourself, if she is married then you have to force yourself to move on, it may even be a little easier for you because she is married, it has a kind of finality to it, I know you probably don't want to hear that right now, but eventually it might give you a sort of comfort. As for now, all you can do is take care of yourself, do things for you, things you enjoy, a good way to think about it is that you can try to improve yourself, so that if she ever does see you ever again, she will look at you be sorry for what she missed. If you improve yourself, your life, etc and she sees that she might even regret that she ever left you, and who knows things might not work out with her new husband, (though I wouldn't wish that on anyone) and she might come back to you, you just never know what life will hold for you, but don't spend the rest of your life pining over someone that may never come back, because you may end up missing some other oppritunity for happiness that comes along. Did she ever tell you why she broke up with you? If so maybe it is something you can work on for you next relationship. And you know what buddy? You can be proud of yourself, you said you never cheated on her, never hurt her, and loved her, what else can someone ask for? I suspect is was not you, but it was her and maybe some problems she had the caused the break up. something I have kept telling myself since my break up is: All I can do is all I can do, just keep tell yourself that, or like on Finding Nemo, Just Keep Swimming!
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