Brittany16

Hmm, I understand what your saying. I thank you all a alot for helping me. It is true that i have jealousy problems, i have had them in all my past relationships, He also gets jealous often too. I guess i still am not ready for a relationship, but i have a lot of time. Its funny how many things you made me realise about myself because it is very true that i have trust issues. I have been cheated on in every relationship i have ever been in, but i guess i should give my current bf a fair chance. I have every reason to trust him. eventhough he does flirt with the stripper when they're together, but thats no reason not to trust him. From the very start i have been on his back about the stripper and its true, they have been friends for a real long time. He has previously had feelings for her... about 2 years ago, but those feelings are long gone. I guess i'll stay off his case about the stripper and see how i feel. I know i mean a alot to him, and he loves me. If it really came down to it he would completely ditch his friend for me, but that is wrong... I know that already (and i never wanted that). So, Im going to give this a shot. Maybe it'll work maybe it wont, but their are many fish in the sea. Thanx for being honest everyone.

Thanx alot everyone. I can understand everyone's point of view, but there is something i must let everyone understand... I never asked for him to end his friendship with the stripper, i simply asked that he would not hang out with her alone. If you knew my boyfriends lifestyle you would realize this is hardly any favor to ask for (or so i thought) because he has so many friends. My boyfriend has about... 5 best friends he has pointed out to me, 3 of them being girls, but the stripper is the only one he HAS to spend time alone with. All his other friends he will spend time with in groups, the opportunity comes up for him to spend time alone with them but usually he'll find other things to do, unless its with the stripper. I'm a very paranoid person, so this could all just be my mind playing tricks on me, but i always get this suspecious feeling inside me. You guys are right tho... I guess i am jealous, i do want him to stop hangiing out with her alone, so if that means im controlling then so be it. But if those reasons aren't something for me to bring or relationship to an end over, what should i do to make this feeling go away? I still feel like i should talk to him about the situation, but i don;t know what to say... If any one could help it would be appreciated. Thanx for everyones previous posts too!!!!

Mr.cactus, both your posts gave me alot to think about. I know you really put my situation into concideration. In your first post you mentioned 'We often think that the person we currently love is irreplaceable and that we could never find someone as wonderful again'. I've been thinking about that alot lately... and i've come to realise that in my previous relationships that was where i had gone wrong. I never want to let go because i convince myself that the relationship i'm currently in is too great to give up and i might be making a horrible mistake. I still strongly feel those feeling, expecially with my current bf because i guess you could say he's my first love. I know everyone experiences a 'first love' but its so hard to let go of. Don't get me wrong, he treats me great and everyone seems to think we're meant for eachother... maybe we are, but since we both seem to have jealousy problems that we can't seem to agree on perhaps we both aren't ready for commitment. I thank you all for your posts, and maybe some of you are right, maybe i am foolish for being controlling and jealous, but i've come to realise it's somehting i wont be getting over. It's going to piss me off every time my bf and her are together, and i dont feel like being pissed off my entire life. Also, if he's not willing to make an agreement with me, he can't be too serious about our relationship. however, I'm not ging to jump to conclusions because to be honest the whole 'relationship' thing is quite confusing for an amature like myself, lol. I'm going to talk to him about it somemore, maybe we can figure things out. If anyone has any advice i'd be glad to hear it. If not, thanx for the help, its appreciated. Ill keep you guys posted.

Heyyyy, thanx everyone. Your advice really helped me. I was with my boyfriend today and we went out with some friends and his stripper friend was there. She talked to him pretty much the whole night.. and of corse it was all about sex again. I'm trying to convince myself i don't have anything to worry about because they've been friends for longer than we've been going out, but in the back of my mind it still bothers me. When i decided i wanted to go home my bf walked me home and i told him how much she bothers me. He got angry, so i tried to come to an agreement. you see, I have one guy friend who my bf gets jealous of when ispend time with him, so i sugjested that i wouldn't spend tiem with him alone if he wouldn't spend time with the stripper alone. This made him even more angry and he didn't accept the offer. I did what i could to work things out so we could both be happy. Was the agreement too much to ask for? I personally didn't think so. I never said he had to end their friendship, i simple said 'no time ALONE with her', but he couldn't do that for me. Is this relationship just a waste of time? Or am i just being crazy?

Wow, thats a sticky situation. The only adive i have is maybe to hold off the relationship for awhile... until you guys can finally meet, Otherwise you guys are both going to be suffering for a very long time.

Thanx for your adice. BUt the feelings of being loved, special and being happy are much greater then the jealousy. they could be greater without the stripper. I know I'm young and unexperienced with relationships, for this reason i don't want to ruin what we've got. Is it not reasonable for me to not want my boyfriend to be alone with a stripper?

If this has been bothering you and its been happening for long enough i sugjest you talk to her about it. I'm quite a flirt too, my boyfriend always has to set me straight. Good luck bud.

I've been going out with this great guy for 5 months now. I've never had such strong feelings for someone and he says the same too. All sounds well, but there is one great problem that bothers me so much i get feelings of dumping him everytime the subject comes up. You see... My boyfriends' best friend is a stripper, they're together whenever i'm not with him. The ONLY thing she talks about is sex, my bf even said she hasn't talked about any thing else since he can remember. He said he understands why i don't want him to hang out with her alone anymore, but he also mentioned that i was going to have to live with the fact that they are still going to spend time along together. Also, i get along great with ALL my boyfriends friends except for her... she hated me from the start because i didn't talk to her enough (that one made me laugh). I guess i'll mention that I am 16 and he is 19, so yes, i am young... maybe someone can help me out a little...