perseverance_rules

Well we are now set to move into our new home. It was hard to talk to her about it, but she brought it up one night and we talked it over quite a bit. Of course we see each other in the long term, and I truly hope well be together for a long time. We are set to move to the new place some time in September if all goes well. What a change its been in just a year. Im ready for a new happier life. I think I deserve that much.

MOVE ON!! it will be in your best interest.

Well this weekend I told her everything that was on my mind. Even told her about posting here just to let her know how much Ive thought about it. She was pleased to hear it from me, and I also got some more insight into what shes thinking as well. She had still been seeing someone when I started dating her, which is why she was a little hesistant with me. About her moving into a home and me thinking its great for her to do it by herself; she told me that it was great that she has been doing it all along in a very nice apartment already...so I see some good things to come in the future with this, just by her statements to me the other night. Thanks for all your support.

The biggest decision for her is that they are raising her rent by 15% when she renews, and for what she is paying for rent already, she could already have a home. I admire that she is a single parent and does what she does. Last year she was having a house built but backed out because of the time of year it would be done. Now that her rent is set to raise way more than its worth, she in the market again. I agree that I should tell her that I admire what shes trying to do, and say how I so want my own home as well soon. Maybe she will see that and wait, or still do what she has to do anyhow. I think its good that she gets her own home to have that freedom for herself and know she can do it without my help or anyone elses. I dont want her to feel that she cant do it without me...if she finds she can do it on her own, its a great feeling and she wont feel stuck in a sitituation...plus if we get together and get marreid down the road, she will know that she wasnt pressured into marriage based on convenience, does that make sense?

i totally understand your frustration. you sound exactly like my friends wife, and to be totally honest, she is right. He pretends that he spends great time with her, but if its that big a deal to her, he has to compromise....same with your bf. I can also understand your boredom in all of this. I was sitting in the living room watching tv while my exgf played on the pc for hours,....and it hit me how bored she must be when i was in there for days every night for hours, never spending much quality time with her. i definitely learned my lesson that one...hopefully your man will too before you cut out.

Hey thanks NJ! very good input. i agree with that. maybe in time if everything is right she would do the asking of me to come live with her...i see it as a win win now. thanks a bunch.

i was the same way with my ex pumpkin. It seems as though hes trying to be there with you while youre around by getting off when youre home. I looked at it this way; if the computer is a hobby of his, then let him have that freedom...but dont let it be his life, dont let yourself take a back seat. if he can compromise his time with both, then theres nothing wrong...if he cant and goes back and forth, then obviously youre second place to him...dont let him play the rule maker here...not saying you have to give altematems, but if your needs arent being met with him, then theres something wrong emotionally with this relationship and I dont see it lasting too long. Hope this helps. PR

thanks annie. anyone else?

nice post ray

i totally agree with frisco... I was in a two year relationship with a woman and we fought constantly, maybe not from the beginning, but it felt that way. TRUST ME, please! TRUST ME! If youre fighting from the beginning, you will never be happy! NEVER. If you get out now you will see what our point is very soon. You will be happy that you left with your pride of not having to settle for someone you think you love. Youll relize that he is NOT the one for you. It is so hard for you to think anything but loving this guy, but its not love when two people constantly fight and argue over things, think about it. You are in lust with a guy and cant imagine life without him, but you can do it...but you have to get out first so you can smell the roses and wake up to know you deserve better, and you can totally find a mate that you are compatible with, because obviously you two arent the ones.

OK...Ive been there myself being the man who was obesessed with the computer, not all the porn per-say, but the games and constant computer addiction. What happened with me was that my ex and I would argue to the point where I didnt care enough to be around her. Regardless if thats the case between you two, you have to ask yourself is it worth being together with him, when he is totally ignoring you. Being online from time to time, or playing the occasional game is one thing, making it your life and ignoring your partner is another. You have to give him an altematem if you want things to stop with his constant pc use. if it has become his life and wont budge, get out...it wont be simple, but it will make him understand that its not a game with your emotions, its a game with his pc, and thats where it should stay. dont settle for second best when you should get his full attention.

My girlfriend and I have been dating since October of last year. We knew each other in high school, and re-aquainted during our 10 year reunion. She has a six year old son of which the father isnt around. Weve been coming along slow, which is what we both want. I make sure that I dont push her away with being too clingy, or needy but at times I still feel as though I should do more, but I know thats not what she wants. We both live on opposite sides of town and I travel to see her on the weekends when we spend a lot of time together. Things couldnt be better in my opinion. We "click" in a good way and I often wonder whats shes thinking, kind of keeping me on the edge of my chair at times, which can be healthy in a relationship, almost as if Im still chasing her...which keeps it interesting. Ive admitted to her that Ill probably never figure her out, but that seems to always be the case with men and women. I havent found those negative things in her personality that at all erk me...which is even more weird. Almost every woman Ive dated there was always those few things that I didnt like, but made them who they were, I guess to a point where I just accepted it...I havent found those things with her yet. I never have a feeling that well argue about stupid stuff...its almost like we both know what not to say to each other, and the respect is already there. Weve also been through a lot in our own lives and repspect those things. I feel we have a ways to go yet before we make more of a commitment to each other, but sometimes things come up where I truly know she cares for me more than she says...and the same with me to her. One of the things that comes up is her thought and really motivated idea of buying a new home. I see myself being with her for a long time, but things are still early, even though its been over five months now. SO I guess the question here is, do I support her decision to buy a new home and do what she wants to do for herself and her son, or do I confess my true feelings for her and ask her to wait things out? I have a very good job in which could allow us to get a much better home in the future if things work out and Id really hate for her to settle for only what she can afford on her own. I can almost see the answers coming in on this one, but it really has been on my mind for some time now, even though our relationship is so new. She is so perfect for me, and everyone has even said so, Ive never heard that come from my family and friends before, even about my ex-wife. I have always been in very long relationships, and none, even my ex-wifes and I relationship was this good to this point. Id love to hear some input on this, as it would greatly satisfy my urge to do more or wait things out. Thanks! PR

I too found that going to see a band with women was great therapy for me. I got to find out what a great man I was to the ex, and just in general. Two months after a breakup is always a grey area. Dating is the key here. Let them know of your situation, and keep the dating alive. You never know down the road who you left your spark with...

wow, it truly does look like this post is dead.....RIP

Well good to hear from you ediefy. You know, it sounds like youre on the right track again. The best advice someone can give is that you have to just go with the flow and not look for a partner...let it appen...most of the time thats not how it is, but it mainly means we have to just be ourselves and not be so impatient in the search for love ya know. As for Jenn and I, things are great. Every week or two I have to stop and ask her a few questions...shes a real stickler about holding her thoughts and emotions in. She dated a guy on and off for almost ten years. This guy cheated on her numerous times, and she still went back to him....he told her how to act, told her what to do....totally whiped her all over the ground. She has changed that attitude for sure, I never saw her as a weak minded indiidual, but I guess her thoughts changed with him because she loved him....silly isnt it. Well she tells me she feels really nervous around me sometimes and dont know why. Sometimes I feel that way around her too. Have you ever been that way with someone sexually...that they may turn you on so much, that you kind of psyche yourself out hoping you perform as well as the last person did....sometimes that goes through a persons head so much it makes you shake...LOL. Id say it happened with me twice now...she tells me she likes me so much, shes afraid things will turn out like they did with her last long term boyfriend....so she just keeps it to herself. Im too much of an honest and open person to let things go unsaid. So we got all that out in the open together, and things couldnt be better. I truly see myself with this woman for a long time! But I still lie reserved because I dont want th ings to backfire again...thats not the best way to handle it,....but itll wear off after awhile.