amdabar

Your going to end up with something much, much better. Don't worry.

That's why you stay friends with her. Women feelings tend to grow for a man that shows he is a good friend. Be patient. She knows how you feel about her and as long as your a good friend to her and you show her respect, she'll always think about maybe getting together with you.

I know this does you no good, but you can't let what she's saying bother you. She's dealing with this the way she needs to regardless of how if affects you. You need to deal with it the way you need to. I recommend you deal with it by cutting off all contact. Generally I try not to answer people by telling them my own story, but I see similarities. I'm 33, married with two kids. Everytime my wife and I fight, the first thing she does is get on the phone with everybody we know and tells them what a horrible person I am. She'll even call my friends and tell them things that aren't true at all. For her, what matters is that people view her as the victim and me as the terrible husband. When we are getting along, she always feels bad about doing it and acknowledges that the things she told people about me were lies and exaggerations but she can't help it. The thought of anyone thinking she's done anything wrong or that any of our problems are her fault is too much for her to deal with. Her brain instantly switches into this "blame him, feel bad for me" mode. One of the reasons we stayed together for so long (besides the kids) is that I couldn't deal with the thought that everyone thought I was this horrible person. Since I don't believe in airing dirty laundry, I never defended myself to anyone, I just allowed them to believe her side of things. Finally (and after a lot of therapy) I realized that I can't change her and I certainly can't stay with her just because I'm worried what she's going to tell people about me. I know I'm a good person. I know I made mistakes but I always acknowledged them and corrected them. I have to believe in me and believe that in the end, the truth will come out (it always does). Your ex sounds like she has the same personality trait as my wife. It's good that you're seeing this now instead of after 10 years of marriage and two kids. Forget about her, move on, don't worry about what she says. People who know you will know the truth and those that don't know you don't matter anyway.

Nothing wrong with you dating a senior but like the others said, don't compromise your morals or beliefs and don't let him convince you to do something you don't want to. I swear, if you lose him because you won't give in to something he wants that you don't, you'll get over it and end up happy that you did. If you give in to him, you'll regret it for a very long time, maybe the rest of your life.

Everybody handles things differently. Sounds to me like she's dealing with the breakup by being angry and making you out to be the bad guy (very childish). I wouldn't sweat it too much. Cut off contact with her. If she asks why, tell her you don't appreciate how she's treated you. Eventually the dust will settle.

In a way, I respect the decision this girl has made. She knows how her friend feels about you and she won't do something to hurt her. Even though it hurts, you should respect that. I agree with Dream, forget about her for now but stay friends. She and her friend need to let the dust settle and figure out how they feel about the situation. It sucks, but you're not in control here, they are. Believe me, they have and will continue to discuss the situation. Eventually something will give and you will probably end up with the one you want. Be patient. If you push you'll end up losing both of them (it's obvious they have a strong friendship). You need to give them the space and time to sort this out themselves.

You have two choices, friendship or couple. Both types of relationship require specific roles, rules and emotional committment. And they often oppose each other. If you decide the friendship is more important, you must forget about any other feelings you have for each other. If you want to explore a relationship, you can't be the same kind of friends to each other as you may do or say something that as friends seems okay but will hurt the other if you are a couple.

There is no magic pill to make love go away. It takes time, time and more time. Finding someone else helps the most, but that's hard to do if your heart belongs to someone else. Open yourself up to new people and new experiences. Unfortunately, sometimes we never fall out of love with a particular person. That doesn't mean we can't fall in love with someone else and it certainly doesn't mean we can't live a happy and fulfilled life. It just means that the person forever holds a special place in your heart. I know there is nothing worse than love that is not returned but I promise, it will get better.

As someone that suffers from codependancy I can completely relate. Telling you he isn't worth it or that you'll get over it isn't going to help. The pain you feel comes from feeling that he just doesn't want you and not being able to figure out why. I would strongly recommend leaving this board. It only makes things worse to have a constant reminder of him. If you've made friends here, let them know that you're leaving and give them your email address. You're only hurting yourself by seeing him online all the time. I would also recommend you find other ways to spend your free time than online. You say your a teacher, why don't you offer to tutor? Or take a continuing ed class at night, or take a pottery class or yoga or something? Make going online difficult to find time for.

It sucks to feel like a failure at something you love but don't think for one second that doing well in school is the key to success. Go find biographies on successful people and see how many of them became who they are in an "unconventional" way. There are thousands of paths to success and happiness, school is only one of them. In the meantime, sit down with your teachers and let them know how you feel. They'll appreciate your passion and they'll help you improve.

Assuming you and he both feel that you are meant to be together, why aren't you? Spend time looking through the messages on this website. Look at all the people crying out to find their one true love. Look at all the people with broken hearts because a person they thought was their true love turned out to be a big piece of ****. Again, assuming you both truly love each other...one of you needs to pack up and move. You go there, he comes to you, or find a new location. You're both going to let the possibility of a lifetime of happiness evaporate because of distance? Distance is a solveable problem, so solve it. True love is too imortant and too rare. Don't let it go.

Finding a relationship that works is never easy. There are so many variables that go into building a relationship and since we as people are always changing, so are those variables. Believe me when I tell you it is better to have no one than to be with the wrong person. A big part of your healing needs to come from within. A belief in yourself will help you realize that relationships that fail were never meant to be anyway. The focus seems to be on what he didn't like about you. Well, you are who you are and you certainly don't want to be with someone that doesn't love you for all that you are. The right man will come along and all the "trial and error" you're going through in your life right now will make that relationship stronger. The hardest thing to deal with is the immediate pain and unfortunately nothing but time will make that go away. It's the most horrible feeling in the world but it will go away. Have faith in yourself. The right person is out there. But first, learn to love yourself. Learn to be okay with relationships ending, learn to be okay with being by yourself. I'm a big believer in therapy. Give it a shot. I think you need to deal with the issue regarding your father. Sometimes we get into unhealthy patterns and we need a hand breaking those habits.