lifeiscash

It truly does sound like you are having a hard time with your situation. Knowing that a year and nine months together, it can truly be hard for anyone in the same situation to go through. First, I want to reply and mention that you said lockers and what not, so that tells me that you must be in high school. High school is a rough time my friend, social pressures, fitting in, creating your image, maintaining friendships and groups, and to think that wasn't hard enough, women. I realize that you care for this girl, but there is something you must understand. You need to STOP making yourself the victim. I know your depressed, I know it hurts, I know you feel like you can't go on, but seriously there is more to the situation. First, you have been together for a year and nine months and she just decides to end the relationship because you sleep alot due to your medication? Are you kidding me, who gives anyone the right to break up with someone because they sleep alot, nonetheless been together that long anyway? Seems to me that the girl is looking for a "cop-out". If this girl really cared for you like you say she does, then why didn't she confront you of the situation, rather break up with you? The problem when a guy gets rejected, or becomes broken up with, is he becomes something women dispise. He shows his weaknesses and exposses them as his personality. By crying in front of this girl, granted she most likely isn't relationship mature anyway, it basically says, "Yea I care about you, but you control all areas of my life and I don't know what to do now". You gave the power to the girl and she is running away with it. You need to get a hold of yourself even if you feel majorly depressed. You have to do what men do in these certain situations, not girls. You have to hold your head high, fake happyness, and have the aroma that you don't need anything or anyone to be happy, you can find happyness within yourself. Sounds to me she is playing games with you and enjoying the power you are giving her by your emotional instability. I do realize the pain you are going through, it was all a learning experience that every man has to go through at that time, but you need to understand that all you can do is control your behaviors and how you act, not hers. If you hold your head high, people will respect you more, including her. I would stay away from contacting her. If she contacts you or sees you in the halls, just walk by with a smile on your face. If she stops you to say hi, say, "Hey, hope everything is well but I am in a hurry, catch you later", and walk away with a smile on your face. The objective is to not let her see your hurt, because obviously, she doesn't care if you see her happy without you.

Recently, three days ago, I found out that my uncle had acted on suicide. Right now I am so confused, hurt, angry, disappointed, and lossed all at once. The only thoughts in my mind is the action that he commited over and over again, like its haunting me with torment that will never end, of how he used his rifle to the head. I am so angry at him for giving up, but at the same time wished I could have done something. I realize I can not take blame, and it is only how I feel for the moment. The fact of how he commited the act is what is making me so emotional. I mostly feel sorry for my father, his brother was the only family left that he had and since my Uncle had no children. Me and my brother are the only ones to carry down the line of the family name. It was just a month ago I remember him with us for Thanksgiving break, showing no signs of depressions then, only now by me reading information on suidice that they were there. So much has happened to my family in the past 5 years with my sister that almost died and in critical condition. Miraculously she survived Then my grandmother had a stroke and grandfather passed away. I just needed to express my feelings because I am having a hard time dealing with this. I understand that people who commit suicide feel like they can not go on any longer, and I'm not here to say they are wrong because it's not a choice at the moment.. but they the effect of the family and friends it has on the suicidal person, is the part that seems left out.

Men's Rational Thinking Related to Age: 1-5: "Feed me my baby food woman, so I can throw it up on myself and let you clean it up." 6-10: "Girls are gross, I don't want to have anything to do with them, they try to hold your hand and make you wear a dress with a funny looking piece of material in their hair. Then all they want to do is play "tea-pot" and talk to their rag dolls named Beth & Sue". 11-15: "What's wrong with me, my body is going through all these weird freaking changes, will girls ever like me? What are these red bumbs on my face, why do I have all this hair in weird places, and why is that happening when I keep looking at that girl?" 16-20: "Why is it that my best friend can get all these girls and I'm only stuck with four? I mean, I lift weights all day long, have the biggest and baddest truck in high school, I'm involved in the cool-crowd at school, why do I only have four girls phone numbers?" 21-25: "I am here, finally in college/work for the first time ever, I can make it out to the bars and clubs that were only 21+. I am meeting all these women and can't realize why any guy would marry and settle down when they could have this much fun meeting all these women, WHO-HO!" 26-30: "Man, I never knew that I could get more hairy but yet still go bald at the exact same time. Not only that, I noticed that when I grow, I no longer grow taller but manage to only grow outwards, is my beer belly really that bad? All my friends are getting married soon or have already, I need to meet a good wife that will do the things to take care of me, where she at". I realize I'm 22 but I'm pretty sure that how the last stage works. Stages vary concerning a man's maturity, and in other words for you women, most likely to be down rather then up a stage. Don't worry about it so much, at that age, men are not serious. Keep your head up and continue on with the current success involving in your life.

The problem is that she is so stereotypical when it comes to girls. For instance, I brought her to one of my friends parties, in which he has a nice, cool, good-looking girlfriend and thought the exact same thing as you mentioned. Well, after that night I acknowledged that she should go out with her and have fun. She then says, "No, I don't think so, she is in a soriority, and we all know how soriority girls act". It drives me crazy because with every girl that she meets she tries to judge them without knowing them, and she says that girls only care for themselves.. and they are not like her. Those stereotypes is what limits her to be lonely and that seriously effects my independent stability in all areas of a relationship. She also states how she hates being in this college town, doesn't like the people, and that she can't wait until she moves. This brings me down because of her negativity and her not wanting to do anything about it is a double whammy! The problem isn't the town or the people, but it's her.. yet she won't do anything about it.

In all honesty, not sure if this is the right way to go.. but it is my way, that at the beginning of dating a chick I tend to be more selfish in my way of thinking. In other words, I don't necessarily focus on her and her needs but that of my own. That way I don't tend to think about what all she has done in the past and instead only emphasis if she is doing enough to keep my interest. Factually, it doesn't matter about who and what she has done before you, but if you are satisfied with your current status by allowing her to be part of your reality and experiences. From what I know, all girls compare ex boyfriend and boyfriends. But as that thought can be your enemy, it can also be your best friend. Don't see it as a negative aspect but a positive, in that she most likely will love how you do things differently then a previous dude or whatever. When dating a chick with a previous boyfriend, I determine how long the last relationship was to see if I want to date her. The longer the time together with her past relationship, the longer I want her response for time being spent single to be when being answered. Of course not as long or doesn't have to be near.. but a good enough idea that I'm not being used as a desperate plea of attatchment or a good rebound canidate.

Okay, well, I am in my longest relationship ever, scary right? It's been going strong for a year and a half and I love her very much. She is a very sweet, kind, and trustful woman who makes me happy, well, most of the time. Lately there has been a problem and its starting to effect the entire relationship. This past semester in school (college), her best friend and roomate moved out and turned completley against her and taking all of what little friends she had with her for some selfish/jealous reason of having a boyfriend. She claims she is over the issue. Now that she has absolutley no friends and no one to hang with besides me outside of school and work, I feel obligated to always have to bring her out with EVERYTHING I am doing. Now dont get me wrong, I love her company, but a guy who's previous long term relationship of three months before this one; I am profoundly an independent person. Not only that but she stays the night nearly every single night and I'm getting scared at the fact that we are pretty much turning into a so-called "married couple", rather then a boyfriend. Well I told her of the issue and how I would like for her to meet some girlfriends or guys, I dont care.. I trust her, and that it would be beneficial to have other people to hang out with then just me. Well, like most girls I have ever known, she interpretates it in her own way and decides to think whatever she wants to think, which is: "So, you are tired of spending time with me, you don't like being with me, blah blah blah". In all serious, no matter what I say, it's like she wants to be upset. I told her that the problem is that she needs to have some social support and friends outside our relationship to keep it healthy. She claims how she doesn't get along with girls and that every guy gets the wrong impression, which is true b/c she is hot and that she is graduating next semester, as am I. Basically, I see them as excuses to not make friends or allow yourself the ability to meet new people; surely not all girls can be that hard to get along with. Look at her, I'm sure if she is like that there are more that way too. Well, we just got in a big argument in which I am in circles in telling her the actual problem and she is in circles of wanting to "TALK" it out so she won't be so upset. Fact is, I have nothing else to say.. this isn't an issue to just "TALK IT OUT"... and she keeps talking and going at it.. and I keep getting more frustrated b/c im already tired of talking about it and it's only continious and all she ever does is complain about things. So obviously I could use a little direction on this issue. I do care for her, love spending time with her, but I believe that my independent stature (which she is obviously not), and her non ability to want to have other outlets in life, and her constant complaining when I want to go out with the guys is seriously effected my judgment.. Please Help

Okay, well, me and my girlfriend have been together for about a year and a half. Great accomplishment for me, considering before her my longest was 3 months. So, I've settle down, enjoy her complany, love her alot, and really care about her. Lately her best friend roomate has turned against her, for some unknown reason, possibly for the drama and attention. She got all of the friends in the group and all of them turned on my girlfriend. Now, she has no friends except for me. She hasn't done anything wrong and has lost her friends. She seems really upset about it. Well, knowing of the situation I ask her to come along to almost everything I do because I don't want her to sit at home by herself all the time. Lately, there have been many problems. I feel so cramped by ALWAYS having to hang out with my girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy her company but sometimes a guy needs his space and hang out with his guy friends. It seems like all we do now is argue. We both hate it, but yet we always seem to do it. Anytime I tell her that I just want to hang out with my guy friends for tonight she gets so emotional, saying, "What you don't want to hang out with me?? You don't like my company??". Yesterday my best friend, I, and my girlfriend went to a local hangout bar for college students, like we are. The entire time she looked so bored, didn't initiate any conversations, and wouldn't talk even when we tried to include her. I try not to let it bother me because I feel like it's a choice not to have a good time, but she made it to where we weren't enjoying it. We had a big argument over that and I said that maybe we just spend to much time together. She then takes it so emotional saying, so you considering breaking up with me.. and of course I tell her no. But she always has doubts that I will, maybe it has to do with a guy thing in the past or her roomates situation. Regardless, I don't know what to do. If anyone has any advice to this type of situation I will be greatful. I feel like this is a hugh barrier in our relationship and I don't know how to appproach it. Thanks in advance.

Yea I agree, trust your insticts and what you went through and remind yourself how it felt to be left long ago. You can always forgive a person but never forget the things that you went through and learned in life.

I wrote a post last time describing about how I never had a long term relationship and that I wanted to do something for my girlfriend to let her know I care about her. Well I am pretty much broke but I looked for some money and I took her out to dinner and a movie and bought her a rose. It seemed like she really enjoyed it since she thanked me over the night. Well, I'm a little upset and Im not sure if I have good reason. She kept reminding me about the date of our one year and talked it up so I could remember (I have a horrible memory). Well I did all this for her but she didn't even get me anything in return. I mean dont get me wrong, I don't really need or care to have anything, but it's more of the thought that counts. She says she had to study earlier but she plans to get me something soon. I told her I don't really care about all that, because I really don't. I just feel like I did all this for her, dropped alot of money when I didn't really have it and she didn't even get me anything back. Heck, Iv'e been with her as long as she has been with me. Do I have good reason why I should be a little ticked, or am I being stupid and blowing it outta proportion?

I have a girlfriend that I care so much about. She is a great girl and I see her in my future for quite a while. I realize how lucky of a guy I am and how great of a person she is. Well its been a year now on Monday and I never been big on the anniversary phase because I never really had a long term g/f. Well, I want to do something special for her but I am broke. Yea, I'm a college student taking many summer school hours and thereforeeee I don't have a job. She is a cool girl and doesn't mind that I don't take her out and buy her things all the time, (in fact she buys most of my things), she works as a bartender in a bar.. and since she is hot, stupid guys tip her outrageous sums of money. Is there anything I can do that expresses to her how much I care about our relationship without spending loads of money. I mean I can write her a poem and buy her flowers and all that but wouldn't see be expecting more? Any ideas?

Well I moved into this apartment last semester with my best friend and 2 random guys. We had a close bond and all became great friends. Well my best friend graduated and moved out and the plan was for everyone to renew the lease for a year and then live together. All along I said if you are not going to live here just let me know soon so I can look for another place. Well time passed and I renewed my lease with one of my roomates. A new guy moved in for the summer that I knew but he plans to move out after the summer to replace my best friend. Well the other guy just tells me that his best friend is moving up here and he would rather live with him than me and he never renewed his lease after all that time. It really hurt me when he said that because I feel like I'm not an important friend to him. I know he cares about how I feel and all that but I'm just a little hurt and my pride is to strong to let it show. I mean its his choice to do what he wants but he had an idea to move out all along and he just now choose to tell me?? Now I'm going to be stuck with 2 random roomates that I don't even know. It's not the fact that he is moving out that ticks me off but the fact he was even respectful to let me know from the beginning his true intentions. Not only that but to consider him as one of my closer friends and for him to say, "Yea, I'm moving out b/c I would rather live with my best friend. It's nothing against you or anything but It would be alot better." Iv'e always valued my friends but this really sucks.. Sorry I had to vent.. nothing can be done. Bring on the new roomate and hopefully another good friend.

Hey man, I know the pain all to well. It happened to me over and over and over again, the same situation to where I almost gave up on love, gave up on girls, and my life in general. Time passed and it seemed my depression was taking over. Everything I thought of was, "if i did this or that", "what's wrong with me", "What did I do wrong", etc, etc. Time kept passing and I finally found this site. I finally had a place where I could write all my feelings no matter what time of day or where and realized that there are people just like me in the exact same situation. This site is filled with people with the similar situations as of you and the feelings that you feel. Understand that first, things happen and you just have to let them be. The only thing you can focus on are your behaviors towards the actions that have happened. You can't change what has been done, and you can't change how people behave or what they do, but you can alter how you think and live your life by the choices that YOU make. By doing "no contact" it isn't to get even, or to be depressed, or to put both of you at pain. The point of no contact is a time in your life where you can reflect on yourself, notice your importance, find your balance in life and help you reflect on the postives and negatives of your past situation. Sure there would be things you would have done different. Remember these situations and learn from them. Also reflect on the postive things that made you proud when you were in the relationship. Notice your strengths, notice your importance. The problem doesn't lie in you. A relationship is a two-way street. It's a commitment based on trust, honor, and ultimatley love. If your relationship didn't work out, it wasn't because you made it that way or it was because of what you "didn't do". It was because there was an imbalance between the both of you. An imbalance that severley affected both people. What I have learned was that no matter what situation you are in, life we always go on. And no matter where I go in life, I realize that "I" will always be there. Wherever I go, "I" will be with me. Once you realize how important you are to yourself then you can realize that a girl that you care about is only part of your reality. A reality of great importance. I hope this inspires you and helps you on your way to recovery. Life

Dang, is that why my g/f likes chocolate so much?

Just depends on my mood and who I'm with and the environment around me. I might make a grunt oh say something on purpose but kinda overexaggerate it somewhat, kinda like a guy in a porno would do. I usually always let her know when I'm about to go.. and when I do I don't blow it way outta proportional, just kinda say or do what I want.

I am needing help on information of ADD. I don't know exactly if I have a problem but it seems highly likely that I could be ADD. Some symptoms that I display is: Hardly ever paying attention in class (drawing constantly) Easily get bored with things and always wanting to be doing "something" Very uneasy with things and have a high lack of patience Talking randomly about things and sometimes doesn't make sense. Limited concentration when reading and studying, etc. Forgetting things constantly, not good with memory When people talk I tune them out at times and dont notice... Any help would be great, thanks.