Another night of letting out frustration. I've noticed that when I get in a stressed and frustated mood, I imagine you. I’m reminded of you. Because that’s what you did to me for a lot of out friendship/relationship. You’re too flirty.. you're an outgoing weekend girl.
You went from one, to talking about guys from work, to having some old high schooler slap your ass, to kissing and making dates with a dude from another branch.. to sleeping with guys on st patricks day.. to me.. after taking all of your stories... listening to this and feelign like crap hearing it... I STILL thought why not.. and then him. All within a year. Jump, jump, jump until you land on your feet. You’re gonna run out of cartlidge,
I don’t like it. I don’t like you.
I understand more about cutting people out of your life now. I took too long with the first girl, cut out as much as I thought I could with you. At the end of the day, if you truly want to heal and move on from this person, you just have to delete all aspects of them from your life. It’s the truth and the truth is commonly brutal.
you can’t be friends. you can’t. It’s ridiculous to think that you can just downgrade back to friends and think everything is fine. It hurts. It hurts more than you know. It hurts that you don’t understand... it hurts that you weren’t the one.
All I do is imagine you. Start to finish of every day. I’ve been here before though and I know it get’s better.. I just have to keep going. You get your boyfriend, you get your sex, you get your experiences. I do not. So please.. until I find what I’m meant to.. LEAVE. ME. ALONE.
Also.. your message was so BREAD CRUMBY. If you really meant anything you’d make more of an effort (in my mind). you’d say something else other than ‘am I watching sports’... that’s just weak and confirms the level of your interest. You don’t have interest in me.. You don't have the interest in me that I do for you.
This is the hardest part. The reward will be worth it. Life long knowledge.
This is a long road...