Hello...I am new to this forum as far as posting is concerned but have spent the last four days reading it.
I am NOT in high school...I am 43 years old and he is 57 and a professional. He IMed me one night when we were both in a chat room. I instantly became very intrigued with him and we began a month long "thing" through IMs, phone calls and camming with each other.
He bought me a plane ticket and invited me to visit him. I went, met him and was instantly attracted. He was all that I had hoped him to be. He had bought me earrings and a beautiful necklace that he gave me the day I arrived. He was sweet the first day but from there, it all went down hill. He had let me know that he had always dated younger women, but decided he wanted a future with someone and knew he wouldn't get it from those 20 something year olds. Before I even went, I was already insecure and felt that he had built me up to this fantasy that didn't exist. Yes, we became intimate which I highly regret, but I can't take it back now. During the week I was there, he was distant and standoffish with me and I wondered by the second day if he was ready to put me back on the plane and send me home. I kiddingly ask him one day if that is what he wanted and he never answered me.
The third day, we went into the city to meet some friends of mine. He was acting really cold and distant towards me. I asked him why, and he said he didn't realize I needed that much attention. During the course of the trip, he told me I was annoying because I kidded alot..trying to keep things light. Then, he made fun of my skinny ankles in front of some friends of his. And there were some other cutdowns that I won't go into.
At the same time, he introduced me to friends, I met his Mom and all his cohorts. He is a judge. He acted as though he was proud to introduce me and all his friends and cohorts seemed to be crazy about me...but he acted with so much indifference that I didn't know what to think. The day after I left, he went on a week long trip in which he told me he was going to see his ex-girlfriend. The day he left for the airport, he left a message on my machine that said he missed me and would call me the day he got back which was last Saturday. During his trip, he called me once, Imed me once and sent me an email telling me "miss you".
When he got back from Vegas last Saturday, I didn't hear from him. His email stated that he would call me as soon as he returned home on Saturday. No phone call...saw him online...no IMs. I sent him an email on Sunday telling him that his ininterest in contacting me said a lot and I thought we should go our separate ways. He supposedly was in the country when he read this and couldn't call from his cell phone. He said he drove into town and tried to call, but he found my line to be busy, he drove back to IM with me. He asked me to give him time to resolve some personal issues. I told him I would wait as long as he showed some interest in me. He said he would call me on Monday. Monday, I get an email stating he had to go back to his country home and would contact me Tuesday or Wednesday. Mind you, he has played poker and could have called me on his cell phone at any time while driving to the country, driving back, to and from his poker games or just whenever.
THEN, I get another email stating that he would call me either on Wednesday or Thursday. He just kept putting off calling me. I felt he was not interested and I sent him back a text message stating that he kept pushing it further and further back. I had had enough. I sent him another text asking him to please send me m jeans and shirt that I had left and ship to me COD...I know, childish but I was upset and felt rejected.
It has now been five days since I heard anything from him. He is avoiding the screen name he used with me but has been on his other names in which he isn't even aware that I know of. I got them off his computer when I would check my email while I was there. I signed on the other night twice and he quickly changed to his other names. I gave him a way out last Sunday, so why did he ask me to give him time? He even stated that he wanted me to come back in June and stay for 2 - 3 weeks but he can't call for five minutes just to say hi?
I know this was so short lived, but I cannot help but to feel so rejected and like I was not good enough for him. I think he built me up to be this fantasy that I could not live up too. Even though he had seen me on cam, I certainly didn't have the body or looks of a 20 year old something.
This has really been a hard week and I am falling into a depression. He denied that he saw his ex in Vegas and said he brushed her off but I don't know what to believe. I am just feeling like this used up old 43 year old that can't seem to find the "right" one.
Mind you, this man is 57 years old and never married. He's very prominent in his town and is very successful. I know he's happy and doesn't even think of me now, but I can't get him out of my mind and wondering what did I do wrong? I want to email him but I don't want to come off as being needy. I know there is probably nothing I can do at this point and I shouldn't even WANT too.
This man portrayed himself to be many things during the month of our online fling. He gave me so much BS and sadly, I flew for it. Two things I've learned from is that it doesn't matter how old you are, you can still fall for someone online. And it also doesn't matter how old they are...game players come in all shapes, sizes and ages. I feel I was played...but I have to blame myself as well for falling for it all.
What did I do that was so wrong here?...I'm really confused.