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moulinbleu

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About moulinbleu

  • Birthday 12/31/1977

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  1. Last night was rough, but we talked it out. We woke up this morning, with smiles. Ahhh, I'm glad we can put this behind us. I am a bit more vigilent now. He better not do it again. . .How awful would it have been if I would have just thrown our relationship away because I expect him to be perfect.
  2. He was calm, and polite, even a little awkward asking me. It was obvious he had been dwelling on it, like Othello, for days. I am gonna let it slide, this one time. I called him last night and even though he was pretty drunk, we talked it out. now we just need to be together and see how much our rapport has changed. i hope it irons itself out.
  3. First thing. . . other than he lied about his smoking habits (claimed to be a non-smoker despite me always smelling smoke on him. every time I would ask he would deny. Finally his friend let the cat out of the bag and my bf came clean, stating he was trying to quit).
  4. Hi all, I've been in a relationship for 3 months and it was going great. Tonight my boyfriend casually dropped by to see me and started talking about something that was a vague memory. "Remember when you were coming out of the bathroom at that bar last saturday night and a guy came out with you?" What? I had no idea what he was talking about. All I can remember is that as I was walking out of the bathroom, the man next in line propped open the door so he could go in next. Anyways, I was very confused when he confronted me. Then I got mad. How could he suggest that I would mess around with a stranger in a bar bathroom? What does he think I am? I asked my b/f if this was his way of trying to end the relationship. He said no but I went upstairs. He sat on my steps for an hour waiting (in the frigid cold) for me to come back outside. When I did to walk my dog (who was whining to go out!), I told him that what he suggested dishonored me. I told him he doesn't know me, and I don't know him. I had no idea he was capable of accusing me of something so base. Big red flag. What if I have to go on a business dinner with another male? What if I talk too friendly with a guy friend? What if this is the beginning of a jealous relationship? He swears that he was just concerned and wanted to put his mind at ease. I told him he has dishonored me and that I need some time. He was so apolegetic and sad, but I would not let him inside my apartment for a nice casual evening in. Gees. I told him he needs time to think of how hurtful his accusation was. He says it is a bump in the road. He loves me. Yadda Yadda Yadda. I am so hurt, I just can't hear what he is saying to me. Rats! Now there is this awkward breech. What do we do? Move on and act like nothing happened? Back away from each other and slowly start over? Move on? We had so much passion and fun. So much in common. Ah, things were great. . . now, they are. . .what they are. Comments? Suggestions?
  5. I am sorry to hear this. Chemo is awful, but necessary. . . I hope he is almost done with his course and that he stays cancer free.
  6. Thank you so much for reading. Yes, both were smokers. I am a total hippocrite. I worked with lung cancer patients for 2 years in clinical trials. I was int he top of the medical school class. I have volunteered with hospice and seen countless people die. I have assisted with autopsies of lung cancer patients (really really ugly). My mom also died of lung cancer 6 years ago. Any one of these things would be enough to make someone quit. Agh! I really need to purge everything that has to do with smoking out of my life to stay quit. I just wish that my boyfriend would feel the same way. He is just a bit more wishy washy, and now we are just feeding off each other. Audrey Hepburn said "never smoke more than 6 cigarettes a day. . ." Alas, she died of colon cancer in her 50's. Sure it didn't help.
  7. I know how you feel. This is not easy. Please take care of yourself and your family. (((hugs)))
  8. Hello everyone, My dad died almost 4 months ago after a 7 month fight with lung cancer. The first month after he died, I was a wreck. Nearly failed out of graduate school. I have seemed to pull myself together over the last three months with the help of counseling and supportive friends. I also have a new relatioship with an amazing man that has been blooming slowly over the last two months. I was getting back to my research and everything seemed ok. Over the last two weeks though, I can't concentrate. I hate going into the lab to do my science. I dread it. It makes no sense to me anymore. I just really want to be with friends, write, paint and relax. I have always been very scientific and intellectual. I finished med school and decided to go get my PhD. I am 4 years into my program and I am not sure what to do. Is this normal for people who grieve? Will it pass? Will I ever get my passion for scientific research back? Last weekend I met my boyfriends father. He has lung cancer but is doing really well, compared to how my dad did. I also found out my boyfriend is a closet smoker who has done everything to conceal it from me. He was hopeing he could quit before I found out, but I found out. Suddenly I find myself smoking again after quiting last year. I feel like things are spinning out of control. I really miss when I am not with my new boyfriend. We have alot in common and he really listens to me. It is such a good thing. I am just afraid that maybe I was not really in control of my grief before I started this wonderful new relationship. Is there ever really a right time to fall in love? AH! Any advice is appreciated. It makes me feel better to just type this out. Hope everyone is having a peaceful night. Thanks for reading. Moulinbleu
  9. soooo sweet. I love to know that guys are capable of thoughts like this.
  10. I used to work in an abortion clinic and I have seen this in quite a few ways. Women who were raped would come in and change their minds right before the procedure. Some went through with it. It is difficult no matter what you decide. Listen to your heart. As for those to think they know exactly what they would do in such a situation, I would like to say I hope you never have to eat those words. While working in the abortion clinic, one of the most hardcore, female protesters (they only protest on Saturday) that we had to deal with came in for an abortion on a Thursday. She did not say a word to any of the clinic staff. She had this-self-rightous, my abortion is moral and justified and the rest of you are sluts-look on her face. She aborted a 12 week old fetus. Heart beating, all organ systems developed. Guess what. The following Saturday she was back outside waving a banner and shouting "abortion is murder" with the other protesters. Hmmmm. Makes you think. 40% of all American women have an abortion at some point in their lives. . . Quite a few dark secrets held by self-rightous, deeply moral women.
  11. Wow! I'm going through the same thing right now. I had my first date with a guy 2 weeks ago, and the moment we met it was like, BAM! The attraction was mutual. We could not even order dinner because we could not stop talking long enough to look at the menus. Now we have had several dates and it is awesome. He is a total sci-fi geek, like me! We have soo much in common and so much to teach each other. Anyways, I am thinking, I know this feeling, this is "falling in love." Enjoy the rush, let it happen, it is so great! (Secretly hoping this stays wonderful!) Moulinbleu
  12. I agree. I would like to think that people will judge on character and not on attire. I embrace the difference, but I can see where parents may not. You respect your parents, and they let you be the person you have become. Hopefully they will respect your boyfriend, even if he looks a little ragged. Good luck!
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