serenity25

Thank you both for your responses. I really appreciate it. Would you mind sharing what college your distance course is through?

I've been searching for online/distance learning courses in photography, and was wondering if anyone out there has any personal experience or recommendations. Preferable I'm looking for courses of quality that won't cost a fortune. I'd greatly appreciate any information or advice. O

Orlander, I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling. My heart goes out to you... I went through the same thing when my ex was engaged about six months after we broke up. He actually went through with the wedding and I'm really surprised at what he chose for his life, but I guess all we can do is wish them the best. I can tell you however, that it will get much easier and at some point you might just look back and feel relief. I KNOW without a doubt that my ex was not the guy for me at all... he wasn't really going anywhere and didn't even lead a healthy life. When it came down to it, he married someone just like him and I really feel that he settled for what was comfortable at the time...easier. Maybe that will ultimately make him happy and I hope it does. However, even realizing what a blessing in disguise it was didn't really prevent me from going through hell to get to this point. You can see from previous posts awhile back how upset and shocked I was when I first found out about their engagement. While we all wish your ex the best, I will tell you something that people often told me.... she might just be on her second marriage by the time you are on your first. You seem to have a wonderful, vibrant heart and that's why this is so difficult for you, but I'm quite certain that you will meet your own princess... and you will be extremely thankful for the choice your ex made to leave. She just opened the door for the right woman to step into your life. It's only a matter of time. The pain, sorrow or regret will flood over you at times, but when it does, try to also remind yourself of the possibilities for your own future and appreciate that excitement as well.

Thanks for the response friscodj. Unfortunately, it is way too late to reconsider the opportunity. I could try applying again for 2008, but I regretfully turned down the chance of doing the job this coming year. So that is the main reason it's bothering me... that when I bring up regrets over turning it down, he doesn't even seem to really care that much. I guess it is what you said, that he is just relieved somewhat because of his fear of being left behind. I just know that in his shoes, I would feel guilty or more concerned for my partner if he was voicing some regrets over a decision made because of me. However I'm much more sensitive than he is.

Well, I'm pretty frustrated with myself for realizing that it was a mistake to turn down a once in a lifetime opportunity because my boyfriend wanted me to. We are long distance and very serious... talk every day multiple times and visit eachother whenever possible. However when I had an offer to live in another country for one year to live out one of my dreams, he did not hesitate to tell me that he didn't want me to be that far away for such a long period of time.... especially since it was a volunteer position that would only cover living expenses and a small stipend without a real salary. Now I'm at a point where I am really realizing the gravity of the decision I made and hearing from others how poor the choice was, and that they can't believe my boyfriend would even want me to give such a great opportunity up. My issue now is that when I bring it up, he doesn't even feel any regret about it whatsoever. He just gives a carefree response and changes the subject. I think I would feel better if I knew he had at least thought it over or was concerned with what was best for me... this makes me think he is only really thinking about himself. Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel like I'm being childish just wishing he would show some type of guilt or at least appreciation for my sacrifice. Anyone have any similar experiences? Do many males just not think so deep into things such as this? Some of my male friends tell me that they would never want their girlfriend to turn down such an amazing opportunity and can't believe mine did... yet they are single or unhappy in their relationships... so I'm conflicted on how to really feel at this point in time. I'm a thinker and I analyze things to death... my boyfriend is the opposite, yet I can't help wishing that he put a little more thought into things sometimes...

I agree with the previous posters.... stop blaming myspace. If anything, myspace is just helping you to see who you should really trust and who you shouldn't. If they are the type to continue trying to hookup with people via the internet while they are in a relationship, they would be doing the exact same thing with or without myspace. However now you have evidence of their trickery and can save yourself some future pain by calling her out now. My boyfriend and I each have myspace accounts, although they are private. We use it to keep in touch with friends and networking purposes. Anyone who is truly into you and worth your time will make their status known on their profile and not keep around any "friends" with bad intentions.

I use to text my ex harmless things occasionally, like happy birthday or have a wonderful Christmas... I knew he was with someone else, but I actually felt I was just texting, rather than calling, out of respect because it was intended to be nothing more than sending him good wishes as a sign that the anger I felt towards him was water under the bridge. With a text there is no immediate pressure to repond, if they even do at all. If it's just a harmless text message that isn't flirtatious in any way, I don't see why you should be concerned with it. In my case, I can't stop caring about someone just because we are no longer a part of each other's lives. The few text messages I ever sent were just to be kind, not expecting anything in return.... since I never even had a response. So since he never bothered to wish me well on my birthday or holidays, I stopped. It wasn't a big deal. Try to be thankful that they don't really keep in contact other than that. It seems harmless enough to me.... if she really had interest in him still, I'm sure she would do more than send a text message saying happy new year.

I think that if you quickly set up a myspace and don't fill out certain things, it automatically comes up as single, don't want kids, etc. Also, I know of several cases where someone accesses the profile and the last login date never changes from months ago... so try not to jump to conclusions. On the flip side though, I know several guys who don't keep many friends or any comments on there, yet are notorious for using it to hook up with girls and lie about themselves. They keep the profile to a bare minimum so that they won't be found out.

Hahahaha, I know some girls that aren't quite so innocent.... but guys are definitely worse considering genders! lol. My current boyfriend quit drinking before we met, thankfully, but now he looks at his friends when they are out and thinks they "sometimes" look like complete morons. He actually recently called me after going out at night and said, "Babe I'm so glad I stopped drinking... everyone just spent so much money to look stupid. I never want to look like that again." haha, it's great when they become enlightened... My EX on the other hand who is several years older than my current beau is still getting trashed consistently and acting like a royal jack--- THINKING he looks cool. I don't think some guys ever realize that being completely toasted doesn't always make them as cool as they'd like to think.

I think it really just depends on what you want for your life. I know people that are just all about family, got married as soon as they turned 21 and had a baby in their second year of marriage. That would not work for me because although family is extremely important to me, I also want to travel and establish a career first. Some people just don't have ambitions beyond being a wife/mother or husband/father. To me living that lifestyle at this age would be incredibly hard work... I know that I'm not ready for that yet and am glad I'm mature enough to realize I'm 'not yet mature enough' to be a mother and wife.

I don't see how anyone could say that honesty would be the best solution in that case. Maybe I'm wrong, but are little white lies always harmful?

Hey, I think early-mid twenties is even early to get married.

It's really ignorant for him to have said he doesn't want his new girlfriend to cry. Although if he could treat you this way, it's most likely just a matter of time before he does the very same thing to her. These patterns continue in most cases. I know it's incredibly hard to think of the long term benefits when you just want relief now! Just take it one day at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself with thinking of how you're going to get through this month or next month- you just have today to think about right now. Then tomorrow only think about tomorrow, etc. Try to stay as busy as possible even when you don't feel like socializing because I found that even if I felt miserable at the time, being around people at least made time pass and kept me from insanity. Repeat this phrase to yourself when you feel down, "There isn't a thing I'm going to do today that God and I cannot handle together." (and of course your ENA friends will help too!)

That must be an interesting tale... Was this while she was dating him? Ouch.

Listen to icemoto- he's brilliant. Sweetheart, it's so close to your breakup so it's completely natural to feel that way. So many of us have some of those feelings even long after the break up. Just remember that you will get through this and that you are never alone. You have the people in your life that love you and you have all of us here- any time you need to vent. Use this painful experience to grow and improve yourself. I know it's difficult but try to focus on what the future might have in store for you rather than what you lost. The saying people on here tend to like is, "Rejection is God's Protection." I've found that to be very true. We can't always understand why something is happening at the time- it feels devasting, like our lives are over or not worth living any longer. I promise you that with time you will look back and feel thankful that he did you this favor, because you will have moved on with someone absolutely wonderful. There is much better out there and he didn't ever deserve you. Anyone who could get into a relationship that fast... well, trust me, it won't last. It may seem like he is so in love now, but true love takes time and commitment. The honeymoon phase will end and he will be left alone- missing you, but the goal is to be so confident and happy by that point that you won't blink an eye.