Jump to content

Seff

Bronze Member
  • Posts

    116
  • Joined

Seff's Achievements

Enthusiast

Enthusiast (6/14)

  • Dedicated Rare
  • Reacting Well Rare
  • First Post
  • Collaborator
  • Conversation Starter

Recent Badges

8

Reputation

  1. Well, its been a little while since I've posted on this thread. I had been thinking of what to say from time to time. Thinking of how I could express my experinces in a way that would allow someone to feel like they're in my shoes. And although I think I do have the words now, after much introspection, in the end, I feel its better just to live it, then to explain it.
  2. Yeah this is true, and I know it, the part about being knocked off her feet. C'est la vie. In terms of approach, well as I mentioned in previous post, I have tried other approaches with no avail. This is actually working. For now, and I'll use the forward momentum like a tug boat to get going. Once I'm at sea, I hope my own internal motivations will take over as I feel more accomplished and satisfied with my progress in areas which are important to me.
  3. Well I honestly cannot imagine I am being draining to her in any degree. Nor am I clingy or over chatty with her at all. I almost always give her the same energy she gives me. I have not placed any pressure on her whatsoever in any regard, and I do not idolize her as being perfect, by no means, she is not. Her flaws are apparent, and thats fine, we all have them. I think its absolutely great advice to seek other inspirations daily. Thank you.
  4. Look you are not getting it. And I wont continue to argue here. The world is full of people with opinions and advice, but actually no one is in your shoes, has lived your life, besides yourself. I am in need of some motivation to get going here, and it is working for me. Whereas I have read many self improvement books, been through countless therapies, addiction therapies, and so forth with little to no avail.
  5. What is a reality is that since I have met her, I am feeling better, and have stopped doing self destructive habits, and am now on a track of self improvement. Even when I thought she wanted to just fade away completely, I still didnt go back to old destructive habits. I needed something here, to jump start my life efforts, and she has been the catalyst. To be clear, I dont expect her the driving force behind my motovation for too long. I just kind of need something to get me going. Once I have been getting into a routine of self improvenent in various areas, then that forward momentum will have a life of its own. I will feel accomplished and proud, and want to continue down those paths, because they will bring me satisfaction intrinsicly.
  6. Thank you for sharing. I agree that in a perfect world I would be self motivated. But that is simply not a reality for me. It is very natural to want to be the best you can be for the pursuit of love and happiness, and nothing you can say will change that. It is not changing myself so much as becoming the better version of me.
  7. Lol you guys arent really are not getiin it here, and I wont expect you too anymore... You are making assumptions also. I most def have not been doing way too much for way too long to impress her. She hasnt even been on my radar as a potential partner at all since before I wrote the OP. She was just someone from highschool I stayed in touch with on fb and a person I liked. In fact as of today I have never done anything, not a single thing, with the sole intent of impressing her. The nicest thing I have done for her, is write some caring messages when she was going through tough times, which I have done and would do for anybody else I liked going through something similar. You are also assuming that you know better then me what I was meaning, when I said I was planning to make posts to impress her... I have already stated that in fact the, posts will be to impress the general public as well, to be clear I hope they will impress any future person of interest... This is as important to me as impressing her, as once again I am not really expecting a romantic outcome here. My heart wont break because it is not fully invested. It will hurt but wont break, and I will get over it. Also she has been without a boyfriend for as long as I can remember, she doesnt want one, as I said previously.
  8. Lol it is not a job. And requires nothing of her but to exist. I am not asking or expecting anything of her beyond what will unfold natuarally. You may not fully understand what its like to be as isolated as I have been, or what its like to have given up hope of finding someone, but the thought of being with her, or someone like her, is what will push me to take action towards a fulfilling life... It is, after all the natural way of things for a man to want to improve himself for woman. To be clear, this is a main driving factor in many if not most mens lives. And it is something that has been absent in my life for a long time, but that she has resparked. The goal is to lead that fulfilling life and to share it with someone I love. I am well aware that likely will not be her.
  9. Yeah, I really dont know about that. First off I wont have to feel much anguish over wether or not she will ract to my posts, she's one of the only ones that consistently does. But moreover, I will have to improve myself, to work on my art, poetry, cooking, etc to make those posts... And this will be very benifical for me... And while she will be in the back of my mind as work on this and my life in general, so will the possibility of finding someone else who will value me, my efforts, and uniquness.
  10. Yeah, It's very tough for me, the people whome I was once close with have all moved well on, and in some cases not even in the country anymore. But beyond that I am rusty at socializing, and I am also most likely the most introverted person you will ever meet. People drain me... Being alone has become addictive because it is so calming.. I know I should really reach out more, but I dunno I just fee so much more at peace when I don't... I def need to work on this. "The issue is not relying on this one friend for all your needs and support or being caught up in a fantasy. " Yeah this is a tough part. I am not counting on her for any support...but I wish there was another lady who inspired me to better myself, but yeah, not so much.. In terms of being caught up in a fantasy, yeah I agree its not the best way to go.. And the downfalls of that would be focusing too much energy on her without looking elsewhere, and then feeling really hurt when things don't work out... I will ofc try to prevent the former, as for the latter, well I'll have to get over it. Just as you said, It will be a bit of a tightrope walk, but keeping the broader pitcure in mind is exactly the intention here.
  11. So I normally dont post much to social media at all. In terms of what I was thinking to post... I mean I would not actually expect someone to fall in love or be swayed into a relationship by them, that would be silly... The posts I was thinking of posting, I don't know how transparent they would be... just an assertation of my views and my value, which I think a lot of social media posts are, right? A finished painting, an elaborate meal prepaired by myself, some poetry I wrote, you know, that sort of thing meant to impress the general public not one person in particular. I think you're right that I will have some hope, if not exactly expectations, that things will progress with her. And I think you're right that I will feel hurt in the end. But it's kinda that bit of hope that I find a lot motivation in, whereas without it, I just feel like a sailboat with no wind in sight...Being hurt is something I am willing to venture, if it will push me along.
  12. Yeah, I agree with what you wrote Rose Mosse and MissCanuck. I told her that I can't for a lil while as busy with estate and unpacking and stuff.. ...Now will I still go and see her next month? And will I still try to impress her, which is like just totally futile at this point? Yeah, like a moth to a flame, I probably will lol... But I mean, I will do so with the obvious expectations, and just let it go after that... And by let it go I mean I wont contact her, but will try to come up with fb posts to impress her nonetheless, lol Now that might seem pretty unhealthy and unwise... But I won't have the actual expectation of a romantic outcome with her... I mean it would be much healthier if I felt motivated to get in shape, show off some artwork and things like that for my own benefit, or to impress someone who fealt the same way at least... But thats just not the case with me... The fact is I will end up improving my physical health, and working on art and hobbies and stuff with her in the back of my mind. Although things will not go the way I'd like with her, in the end I'll have improved myself while still looking elsewhere throuought, and especially once I've progressed.
  13. ...So she messaged me now asking if I'm free this weekend... I dunno if I really feal like hanging with her honestly now, but I dont want to like put her off... Maybe I will just say I'm a bit busy this weekend as I am... Or heck I dunno we were just supposed to hang out at the park for a bit...
  14. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.. I'm really sorry you had to go through all that.... People, especially youngsters, can be so cruel and shallow. I can really relate... I'm so happy things turned around for you though.... I wish that after highschool, I could have had similar experinces that disproved my beliefs no woman could love me.. (due to other physical defects I've not shared here)... Because I also was lead to believe by many people in highschool, that a part of my physicality was not acceptable and certainly not desirable... It eventually lead to me having a major mental breakdown, followed by depression and withdrawal from freinds and family... to which I am still suffering this day... lol But c'est la vie... I am getting better, I think slowly but surely. Slowly being the operative word.. I pray I can one day fully assimilate the fact that I am not unlovable into my outlook, instead of just kinda believing it... But it will come with more positive experiences..
×
×
  • Create New...