misery12

Alright, im just wondering something. My girlfriend and I are both virgins, I am 16, and she is 15.. and she told me she was thinking of having sex, and I'm just wondering if it will hurt her when we do. I am 7 inches, and she isn't too petite, she's probably 5'9, smaller frame though. I don't know if she's ever masterbated or anything like that, and we'll be wearing protection. What's the best way for our first time, so it doesn't hurt her too much? Or will it hurt at all? Thanks.

Don't worry about it, many people have the same difficulty as you. You should try writing down some general topics to talk about, and if she enjoys chatting on the phone, she should elaborate onto your discussion and thereforeeee making it easier on you. Try not to stick to the question/answer conversations, because these generally lead to awkward silences (which aren't fun).. so attempt to ask open ended questions, and maybe tell her a story. Also, the fact that you two live accross The Atlantic from each other.. can have it's benefits, because it gives you things to talk about, and compare between each other's lives. Just try to imaging you're talking to a good friend that you aren't afraid will judge you or not. If she judges you, then she's not worth it anyways. Be yourself, stay confident, and sooner or later it'll start to get easy.

Wow, I am sorry to hear that. Feel free to post about any emotions you're feeling. If you don't mind me asking, what were his reasons for breaking up, and if it was because of your behavior during your intimate 'session' than at least you know he wasn't worth it.

You're both completely right. Don't think that I take your advice and let it leak out my other ear, because that's SO far from the truth, I read what everyone writes to me and think deeply about it. This girl, she isn't very open about her feelings.. and im not trying to defend her or anything, she just isn't the type of girl that would do that out of the blue. I really wish you could feel exactly what I do, so you could realize the difficulty I am having. Here's the thing, right now.. we're just hanging out as friends, and she hasn't really given me any concrete reasons to ask if she likes me or not, but the reason I suspect something is up with her, is because I 'know' her, and I can tell. I feel that if I just keep doing what I'm doing, something will either form with us, or not. Either way, I still have my health, and I'll be happy. She is more likely to 'show' me that she is interested, such as getting really close to me (physically) and other things. This weekend im having some friends over, and I'm pretty sure something will happen, I can sense it.. I think she just has a hard time saying things, despite how strong/weak her feelings are. But, it does seem like she's being a lot more open with me now, than before. After school today she came up to me and started talking to me about one of her classes, I didn't even see her coming, she goes out of her way to talk to me now, and I really like it, but I am in NO rush to get into another relationship, and right now.. I would rather take things slow, and don't really mind if she doesn't say she wants to get back together with me right now, because either way i'll know how she feels, when im suppose to know.

It's tough acting aloof to her when she is constantly bringing up conversations with me a few times a day, and when I come online too, so she knows im there. So I talk to her. We're talking about plans for next weekend right now.. because im planning on having people over, and she's wondering who's invited.

She never really gave me a concrete reason for breaking up. She said she just wanted to be friends. But in time it seemed like she just didn't like the committment, going to our cottage with my family, and hanging out (like normal couples do). Recently though, she's been saying remarks like "man Im cravnig some cowbody stew" which we would only eat at our cottage .. made me think. Also she told me how her mom missed having me around and all of this. It's just easier to pick up when you know her I guess, she's never been an open person that would go out of her way to say she likes you. She's not really like that. Not much of a romantic you know? That's why when she suddenly started talking to me 2-3 times per day on the computer, plus takling at school.. I could tell something was changing. Then she invited me to her friends house who was having a small get together, which got cancelled, so she called me back and rearranged the plans and we ended up hanging out. I guess what im saying is.. if I wait around for her to come and 'say' she wants to get back together, I may be waiting awhile.. because I dont think she would say that.. due to the fact that when we first started going out, she never told me she liked me.. I could just tell by her reactions/speech/actions towards me.

I definatley agree with you, it's just very tempting to do that sometimes. I think people do this because they crave that same attention and inner feeling they had with their ex, that they accept anything at all, hoping it will change things; while in reality, it does nothing. This applies to my situation quite well, and i'm wondering if you can give me advice on something. I'm getting close to my ex again, and many people have told me that if I am too eager to please her again, things will just end up back as they were before. And I agree. But, what if I take this advice, and my ex suddenly feels as if I am not interested and thinks, "why bother, if he's not interested".. and gives up, and I lose my chance. That's the only thing I fear. I know you have to draw the line of giving/receiving in this situation, but where should you draw the line? Thanks.

I agree with you. But if I ask her, it will seem as if I am eager to get back, and I don't want that. Doesn't seem too smart. I am just wondering if I wait for her to come to me, what if she thinks that since I am not making the effort she has, I don't want anything, and she gives up. I don't want that either.. that's all.

Thanks, I see where you're all coming from. I just don't want to keep a grudge if there's a new relationship, because isthe past. But I do understand where you're coming from. I went driving wtih my mom since I phoned her, and when I came back online afterwards she talked to me again. It seems as if she's pursuing me constantly, which seems like a good sign. I'll keep my eyes peeled though, for odd behavior and I'll watch her motives.

Shoot, I called her. But what could I have said.. "no sorry, im busy" even though I clearly wasn't. I called her and we chatted for 10 minutes or so, and then told her I had to go. Now I will pull. Here's the thing, I feel I have an advantage this time because I feel more emotionally secure than I used to.

Im talking to her now, and she just told me to call her.

Alright, gotcha. So far it seems as if she's the only one who has been giving. Starting all the conversations, she volunteered to play for us, and making plans involving me. The beginning plan was 5 girls/5 guys.. and all paired up.. they didn't say that, but I could tell. And she was the one who invited me. All of her friends always say she likes me too, I know her personality, she is more subconscious with her feelings, and lets you know if she likes you in actions..

How would I do that, without scaring her off. Maybe the reason she hasn't said anything is because she doesn't know. So I'm just taking things slowly. We talk at school everyday as well, and play volleyball together.

Hey guys, I just wanted to update you on my situation, I told this new girl that I couldn't see it evolving into anything, because deep down, I could kind of see it the whole time. So I felt as if I should let her know that I felt that way, to be as fair as possible in that situation. Anyways, I've been starting to talk to my ex more. Actually the other way around.. Out of probably the past 10 conversations on the computer, she's started 9 of them. We hung out last night at her / sort of my friends house. Watched a movie, bond fire with a group of people. She started talking to me this morning too, and everyone asks if we're getting back together, and it's clear to see we're sharing feelings again, and it feels like it did months ago, when we started going out, and she called me a few times yesterday to make plans. I know you all don't really like hearing my stories because most of the time I end up doing what i'm feeling. The only reason I do that is because if I did go against my inner judgement, I'd feel somewhat guilty, and it's not because I dont appreciate all of your advice, because if I didn't like it, I wouldn't be posting all of these. I am just wondering as to what precautions to take in order for the relationship to take an opposite turn as it did the first time.. I felt as if I gave too much, and was TOO available, maybe? I don't know. Advice, if you can.. please/thanks

Here's the thing, if she was completely over you, she wouldn't feel awkward, because awkwardness comes from insecurities around other people who you feel will judge you, basically. So by this, it seems as if she didn't introduce you either because she just doesn't want you two to meet, or it's something else that nobody but her will know. As for getting back with her, do what you're doing.. stay busy and confident, don't let the thought of getting back together rule your days, because you might just be waiting forever. If you two are meant to be together, you'll end up back together without having to strategise your way back with her. Just keep it cool, and if she wants anything with you, she'll come to you.