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sweetdreamer

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  1. The reason I asked this question is because my exboyfriend called me after 2 years to see "how am I doing!?" Its bull * * * *!!! We met for coffee and kept in touch for a month. However, the last day I told him I still have feelings for him and he said he dosen't feel the same. He wanted to keep in touch but I told him no contact because it is not easy for me. I question why would he call!? Is it for revenge!? Is for an ego boost!? It took me more then a year to get over him and to move on and I did. Now, it has been a month of no contact and it is weird, I am hurting all over again. Gosh, I feel like I am in this grieving process again. Ha.
  2. Curse does not exist!!! It is what you think because the kind of energy you are giving others and yourself!!! Maybe you are feeling negative and people do feel negative energies.... Maybe if you stop believing that you are cursed and maybe you will begin to feel the positive and people do feel the positive and they will come.
  3. Have any of you called your ex after one or more years after the break up? Why?
  4. My ex boyfriend and I broke up more then a year ago, and he called me last month to have a few drinks. We met eachother tand started to hang out once/twice a week. However, we had not spoke to much about the past. It is like a new beginning and there was no intimacy. Yesterday, I told him just be friends and knew it was over. I am hurting again and it feels like I just broke up. Ever felt this way. I hurting bad!!!
  5. Question is if an exboyfriend would tell you if he was dating?
  6. Time will heal. I thought I will never heal after my break up but it does!!! You just got to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve. Try to stay active, and it will be hard in the first while and it will get easier as time goes. During the first while of my break up, I slept a lot and was depressed. You said you were on the meds. and I don't support it. Meds. is an illusion. Dr's. try to find an easy solution to help their patients by prescribing these meds. and it is not the solution. The solution is try to find some control in your life by changing and healing yourself. Also, I find that taking a walk on a daily basis helps. I have changed from my experience and so gald I went through it. Just believe in yourself that you will heal and time will get easier. Also, it is okay to cry.
  7. I had an ex who was similiar to your boyfriend. I would suggest you to be patience and show him that you accept him and love him of who he is. It will take time and let him be comfortable with you when you show him that you really accept him!!! Good luck
  8. I learned a valuable lesson from my last relationship. It is unfortunate that we broke up due to cultural differences. What I learned is life has no rules but us, humans, who are 'idoits' makes the rules to make our lives more difficult. However, there a good reasons for the rules is to keep us safe, secured and set. Also, it gives us a future what is believed to be good. Believed to be good is not always guaranteed. I learned that there are no rules and live life as it. I was seeing a wonderful man and broke up with him because of my culture. I was terrified to be with him because he was 'white' and I wasn't. I lived in such an environment that I must date only my kind. I lived by the rules that the idoits had created. I was brain washed and now when it is too late to have him back. I am still in so much pain and can't tell him I did such a mistake for breaking up with him. There are no rules!!! There are no black and white!!! We don't know the truth!!! Why can't we just be of who we are and not be in control by the culture and/or society and/or norms. I don't understand the existence of this life.
  9. I come from a strict family who lived in Canada for more then 38 years. I am an adult and still live under my parents roof. They share the similiar beliefs as yours. I will tell you this and what I have learned. Believe in yourself and believe what you believe and make your decisions. Your parents don't own you...you own yourself. You have a right to be you...stand up and be you!!! I learned from my last relationship, and he was the first individual, who I didn't date from my culture. He opened my eyes with hope, apperciation and happiness but I was to afraid to let go or HURT my family so I had to let him go. I was thinking about my family the whole time and how I will hurt them. Now, I realized it was a mistake and I learned is that I didn't actually think for myself. It is not easy but remember it is selfish of your family to act this way. If they love you...they will accept. Best wishes.
  10. I say "GO FOR HIM!!!" It is your decision, and your family can't make the decision for you. If they love you unconditional, they will come around. I went through a similiar situation and broke up with him because of his ethnic background. Now, I do have regrets and know I can't have him back.
  11. I didn't realize this would be a good topic, and it is!!! Thank-you for posting it. I question that all the time but when I think about it and come to my answer...I thank God for giving me this experience because this helps to grow and gain wisdom and knowledge. However, at times I wish the unbearable pain does not exist so, we don't have to feel it. But if we don't have the feeling of this pain, then how do we know who we really are. The ones who allow themselves to feel the pain and help them to overcome it helps them to grow and become a stronger person. I feel pity and sad for the ones who uses substances because they don't allow them to feel it. We should always remember to be thankful for having the experiences in life because you wouldn't be who you are today.
  12. Punchy, it is not all about drama!!! For the rest, thank-you for your inputs. It was a deep connected relationship, and I am the one who broke it off due to personal circumstances. The timing was bad. I know it is over and never be back together, but I believe what I am feeling is that I miss him badly. Another thing I question is that I hear that is when you go through this pain, and time will heal, and you will GROW!!! What I don't understand is why do we need to feel the pain to help us grow!?
  13. My ex and I broke up for 5 mos. in a 3 mos relationship. I am devastated with these emotions I am feeling. I thought I was totally over him until I saw his friend on Friday, and told me some new things that is going on with my ex. I didn't even ask how my ex was doing because I didn't want to know but hearing what he is up too and his name was to hard to hear. And now, I feel like I am back to day one. I don't understand these emotions. It is so hard and WHY?
  14. Welcome...hope it helped. You could PM me if you need too.
  15. I really don't understand what you are saying from the fear of your sister growing up and you continue to become a nasty person and etc. You sound confused, afraid and angry. You said you fake your self esteem. DON'T!!! It is okay to be weak but don't allow it to continue. Work on yourself and self esteem. From your past history, sounds like you went through a lot and I don't think you had time to cope with your emotions. You used alochol to cover the emotions and became bulimic it is because you were burying your pain emotions, which IT IS TIME TO DEAL WITH. Seek some professional help. As you said your friends are looking at you as an old person. Don't worry what they think. As time goes, you will always change to the worse or good. It only depends how you cope with your situation. If they can't accept you of who you are now then let them go. There are many good people out there who will accept you only if you accept yourself, which means accept your past, let it go, allow yourself to heal, allow yourself grow and allow yourself to become a New you. Dealing with the reality of your situation won't be easy but it will get easier as times go and you would be thankful you allowed yourself. I went through some similiar experience and more grateful I had. I wasn't accepted by my family and old friends because of what I belief. I had to pretend and hated it. It affected my self-esteem and felt unapperciated. I began to drink so I could suppress the reality of my situation. However, one day I realized I can't continue on drinking and keep pretending. I allow myself to face the reality and cope with it. It was a slow progress, and the pain could be unbearable but did allow myself to feel it and let it go. Now I am not afraid to be ME and am truly proud of who I am. If they can't accept me then that is their lost. Think of yourself as a worthy person and be proud of yourself of who you are. First you need to cope and heal with your reality and then you will see the light. Also, with your sister, let her grow and follow her path but remember you can't allows relate but you could be there to listen and be her support. Good luck.
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