starblubber

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dude, the EXACT same thing just happened to me 2 months ago. everything you wrote sounds like you could be talking about me and my ex. i'm 26 and me and my ex dated for almost a year and we lived together for 7 months. she has a baby thats a year and a half old now and i loved that kid like she was my own and i was there for majority of her life and i was liek a dad to thet kid. Her ex the babys dad wasn't there once for either of them, he didn't even want to be part of his babys life and then I find out she was cheating on me with him for the past 2 months we were dating. it confuses the hell out of me cause she use to say how much she hated this guy and how i was everything she wanted for her daughter and he wasn't. i was an awesome guy to her and her baby and this other guy is scum who i have no respect for. you know how she broke up with me also? in an email. nice eh. then after we break up she's like i love you, i'm just confused, i want to get back together with you but i don't know if we will or when we will, i just need time and space by myself. so i sit there for a week not knowing whats going on all confused cause i'm thinking either you want to be with me or you don't. so a week after breaking up i'm sitting there with a broken heart in limbo land hoping for the best and then i find out she's back with her ex and she was cheating on me for 2 months. i still don't understand what was going on in her mind or why she just couldn't have been honest and said her feelings changed or soemthing, it still would have hurt but at least we could have stayed friends. i just don't understand why people think it's better to be a bitch or an asshole to someone when they break up instead of just being honest about there feelings. it's been 2 months know since the breakup and i've come along way where i have my good days but i still have my rough days where i miss her and her baby and start to feel pretty depressed but then i think about what kind of person she is and who she really is and it helps put things in perspective cause i ask myself do i really want to be with someone like that? yah i loved her with all her heart but she's not the person i thought she was. i dond't even really miss her very much anymore, but i miss that kid so much more than anything. i'm sure your asking yourself tons of why questions but sometimes there are no answers. i think the best thing you can do is forget this girl and try to move on, i know it's hard and easier said than done but don't even have the mindset that maybe someday you guys will get back together again cause you can do 100 times better than someone who treated you like that. don't call her, don't email her, don't talk to her parents, just cut all contact right now. trust me man it's the best thing you can do unless you want to keep torturing yourself. the sooner you cut all contact the sooner you can start to move on with your life and the sooner these feelings will go away. girls like that are just f*cked and don't care about nobody but themselves. she's selfish. you'll find somebody who actually cares about you and will treat you right.

I'm going to try really hard to be able to keep my heart open and trust again, I just know if I can after being hurt like this a couple different times, I serioulsy don't think I could go through this again. Yesterday my ex called me for no apparent reason other than to just say stuff to hurt me. I told her to never call me if the guy she's with now cheats on her and she said she wont cause she could never go back to me after being with him. Ouch. Then she said her daughter doesn't miss me. I don't understand why she's saying stuff to hurt me even more? I honest to god was such a good guy and gave 110% to this relationship and all my heart and soul. I can't think of one mean thing I've ever said or done to her to deserve these little cheap shots. Why is she trying to hurt me even more? Is she trying to provoke me into a fight or osmething so she won't feel guilty or soemthing? I have no idea. This is so confusing and hurts!

Some questions will never be answered! I've been asking myself the same stuff the past few days. We'll never know.

Second date dude! Second date. My advice would be to ask he rout again and drop suddle hints by flirting with her and saying nice comments like she looks pretty or something like that and then if you get positive feedback give her a kiss at the end of the date. What do you have to lose right? Just don't come on to strong and be sincere.

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Well it seems to me that if he loved you as much as you love him he would have tried harder to keep you and convince you not to break up with him. Especially considering it's happened once allready for the same reason. I know my exgirlfriend was getting calls from her ex alot the past month or 2 and guess what, she dumped 8 days ago and is back with him allready. you always have to follow you instincts, I wish I would have! Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. Don't let your guard down. I hope you don't get hurt!

Sisterlynch your the only person who's told me to check out girls that are younger. Is dating younger girls really wise? In my own experience the younger girls don't really know what they want, like I look around everywhere and I see girls that are 18 to 23 years old and there in serious relationships for a year or 2 and think they know what they want and everything seems to be going good but then something happens inside of them and they get rid of there boyfriends and start paryting around playing the fields and stuff. Not all girls but most from my experience. Most people lately are telling me to go for older girls more like my age 25 or 26 instead of the 18 to 23 age but it's hard to find girls at this age that arn't taken that I could click with that don't have tons of baggage already or looking to marry a doctor or a lawyer. It's all so confusing. Then you hear how many people are getting divorced these days (50% or so) and it's discouraging. I don't mean to sound negative but my experiences lately have made me that way. Where is that 1 special girl out there for me?

Thanks for all your words and advice SwingFox Even though nothing anybody says right now really helps or makes me feel better for more than 2 seconds I know when I get through this and look back I'll owe you and the rest of enotalone a really big thanks for being there for me You guys are good people and I have alot of respect for you guys for helping others out with our broken hearts. You guys do a lot of good. Right now though I feel like my whole entire universe dropped out and this pain is so unbearable and I just can't imagine feeling like this much longer. This pain is so intense! See I've been here once before and I know I got through it but for the life of me I can't remember how I did or if it even felt this bad. That whole time after my first serious breakup is like a blur and is fuzzy when I think back. I remember being super depressed for about a year afterwards, I just can't imagine feeling depressed like that for another year or so. I read everybodys posts and see there going through similar stuff as me or have at one point and it makes me feel better in a way knowing other people are feeling the same way as me and can relate or have made it through this. But then I think about how many people out there are like my most recent ex and can be so careless with somebodys feelings and hurt them and play with there feelings intentionally and lie to them and not even care. It scares me cause I never want this to happen again cause I really don't think I could make it through this again. I don't want to shut my heart off but how can I not? Even if I don't want to won't it happen naturally as a defense mechanismn? Like putting up a so called invisible wall? I put up a wall after my first ex and it took 5 years to knock down and give this most recent ex a key. See I know I'm an attractive guy and lot's of girls like me but I'm tired of dating for the sake of dating but I do want a meaningful relationship. I really feel like Ashley was my lst chance in a way. I hope not but that's just how I feel. Has anyone else on here been in love more than twice, I mean pure genuine with all your heart and soul love? I need some hope See the place I work doesn't open up for 1 more month so I have nothing to keep my mind occupied for majority of the time and I'm sure thinking too much is making it worse. I've had a few friends over the past 8 days but they work in the days and have school at nights so they can't come over too often and my family is allready starting to get annoyed with me talking so much, I think that's why I've been posting on here so I don't keep whining to them about everything. The weather outside is too cold to go for walks and stuff -40 with the windchill today. Anyone have any suggestions of stuff I can do to keep busy at home that will actually help? Is there any kind of medicine or anything to help me out if I still feel this way a couple months down the road? I just can't keep feeling like this and I know I can't. Thanks for listening

Dude, I totally know what your going through. I'm having the same kind of dreams. Me and my ex have only been broke up for 8 days now but these dreams are what's killing me inside. I want them to go away allready!!! I go to bed at night time and I feel like I'm in better spirits and things are getting better but then I wake up and the dreams knock the wind out of me and kick me right back down to the curb again and then it takes hours to shake that feeling off caused from the dreams. It's such a bad cycle.

Well 5 years ago I was in a very serious relationship with this girl, we dated for 3 years and we were totally 100% in love. Her parents ended up moving to Brazil and I live in Canada. I followed her down there months later only to find out she was cheating on me with some guy down there so we broke up and I came back home devestated. 5 years after that I lived with depression and only saw a few girls here and there but I couldn't give my heart away to anyone no matter how hrd I tried. Then I met Ashley, we were friends for a few years and it grew into a serious relationship and we lived together for 7 months but she recently broke up with me for her ex as oyu might have read in other posts of mine on here. I know I loved her with all my heart. My question is how many more times can I give my heart away when everytime I do it just gets hurt over and over. I'm turning 26 this summer, I know I'm still fairly young but is it supposed to take another 5 years before i meet someone I can give my heart to and then what happens if the same thing happens all over again. All I want is a nice girl who I can love that will love me just as much and spend the rest of my life with. I'm a hopless romantic. How many times can I fall in love in 1 lifetime before it loses all meaning?

Ok I posted in here a few days ago about my girlfriend breaking up with me but saying she still loves me and wants to be with me someday but doesn't know if or when. The past week I've been in limbo land cause I had no idea what I should do, if I should move on or wait. I've been so depressed and havn't eaten in 7 days basically. Today I find out my ex has been cheating on me and is allready back with her ex from a year ago. She couldn't even be honest and tell me to my face or even over the phone. I had to find out from the guys mom that she's with right now. Why not just be honest? She was using me keeping me on the sidleines in case it didn't work out with him. My question is how can somebody be so heartless with my feelings? I've been nothing but a good guy to her and her daughter. I just don't understand women like this. Yes she had a kid with that guy but he's never been a dad and he's been the biggest arsehole in the world to them. It takes more to being a dad than getting a girl knocked up and coming around sleeping with her every now and then. I've been there for 7 months raising that kid like she was my own and this is the thanks I get. She couldn't have even been honest? 1 week later and he's allready living with her. wow! I was depressed the past week now I'm just angry.

I can't really offer you any advice casue something similar has just happened to me and my minds not in the right place to give advice but if it makes you feel better your not the only one out there feeling like this right now. i know coming onto this messageboard and reading other people's storied is helping a tiny little bit. I havn't eaten in like 5 days and I can't sleep either. When I do sleep I have the worst dreams that me and my girl/ex get back together. sucks to be us eh

Ok I need some advice guys. I've been dating my girlfriend for 7 months now and we've lived together for 6 months. We've been friends for about 5 years and I knew the first time I laid eyes on her that she was the one for me. She has a baby that's 1 and a half years old that's not mine and I love both of them so much, like the kid was my own. In a way they've become my family. Things have been weird this past month and she's been really distant. I found a note that she wrote to herself about a week and a half ago saying she really likes being with me but misses her ex. I confronted her about this and she said she does have feelings for her ex still but she loves me more than she ever did him and only has these feelings and misses him because they had a baby together. This guy cheated on her so many times when they were together, made up lies about her when he found out she was pregnant, has only done the bare minimum like buying 1 bag of diapers a month and 1 carton of milk and if he does call he's calling to hit on her he's not calling for his kid. We had a long talk and we were gonna work things out but a week went by and she was housitting for some people for a week and I thought things were gonna get better. But my girlfriend broke up with me this past saturday through an email which I thought was rather cowardly, she says she thought about things the past week and needs time by herself to figure out her feelings. Normally with most breakups the person tells you it's over and they don't have those feelings for you anymore. My ex tells me she really loves me and wants to be with me again but she needs time to figure out stuff by herslf and find out what she wants and who she is but then in the next breath she says she doesn't know how long that will take or if it will happen. Why is she telling me she loves me and wants to be with me again but then says she doesn't know if that will happen. How am I supposed to deal with this or move on knowing that? How do I move on knowing that? I love her so much. What do I do? How do I win her back? How do I let her go knowing she loves me and wants me back someday? What if I wait and she doesn't take me back after I wait for so long? How do I show her that I am what she wants and not him? She's confused. What do I do. This isn't just some crush I have on this girl, I love her more than life. I know in my heart that she's the one. How do I fight for her? This is pretty messed up. At least other girls I've dated that have broke up with me have told me flat out it's over and they don't have feelings, yah it hurts but at least I had closure and could move on. How do I move on this time after she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me but says it could take 2 weeks to 6 years to figure stuff out. It's not fair. She told me she thinks she made a mistake but needs time. I'm so confused. I'm hurting so bad, I almost feel like I wish I was dead, obviously I would never do anything like that but it's just how bad I'm feeling. What do I do? Do I wait? Do I move on? How do I move on after she said there's still a possibilty? Confused confused confused... I need advice? Has this ever happened to anyone else? What do you guys think? I need help with this