Maybe some men here can help me understand....or maybe some women have had the same experience & have figured this out.
I have had 2 very similar situations w/2 different men who I met on a dating site & I'm completely puzzled.
Man #1 - We talked on the phone for about 3 weeks, before I agreed to a date. When we did meet, we had a great time. He kept telling me how attracted he was to me, how much fun I was, how cute I am, etc. He asked for a second date, for the next day - an outdoor all day date - I accepted. I - and this was clearly a mistake - invited him back to my place for coffee & he accepted. He obviously misunderstood & started slowly making his moves, trying to get me to bed, but was finewhen I said absolutely no. He eventually left, saying he'd call to firm up time for our date the next day. He did not call. Then, 6 months later he contacted me on the dating site again, apologizing, asking for another chance. When I demaned an explanation for not calling, he said he was so ashamed of himself that he was too embarrassed to call. But, he said he hadn't found anyone else so perfect for him, or so much fun. We did not discuss another date, but he called me every nite & emailed jokes,etc. a few times a week. Finally, I wrote back & said "let's get together", he responded "OK, where & when?". I wrote & said "call me". It's now a month later & I have not heard a word from him. (???)
Man #2 - Started out about the same, we had one date, same deal, he was "charmed" by me & he was charming & fun. He called me a few days later asking for a second date - it was late & he sounded like he'd had several drinks, so I said yes & said call me & we'll firm up time. I didn't hear from him, via email or phone, for 4 days - so wrote to him & said forget it, that he obviously wasn't that interested, etc. He wrote back, saying he was sorry, he did want to go out again. I ignored him at this point. 3 months passed & he (just like man #1) contacted me on the dating site - apologizing for being "a pain in the neck" & inviting me to write if I accepted his apology & if we had any potential. So I wrote saying it's OK, and he wrote a long, sweet email full of compliments for me, etc. We wrote for a few days & I invited him to call me. He did not, but wrote, asking for a date for few days later. I was busy, so wrote back, being very sweet, saying I was busy that weekend, but was completely free for the following weekend. Well, that was 3 days ago & haven't heard word one from him. It's almost as though he got mad when I didn't jump & accept his invitation - even though I gave him alternative dates. (????)
I'm thinking these guys are suffering from the Grass is Greener? syndrome, shopping, shopping, shopping the net, trying to find something better all the time & when they don't, they go back to the best of the bunch & try again. That makes some sense to me...what does not make sense, is why, when I again become open to them & forgive them, they just stop communication, abruptly.
Sorry this is so long, but I'm completely perplexed. Have any of you had these kinds of experiences? Can any of you men offer me some insight into the male mind? Seems like some sort of a "game". (????)
I have decided to completely ignore both of them, if/when I hear from them again - what to do is not an issue - just wondering if anyone understands or is familiar with the "game".
Thanks for taking so much time to read this - you sound like a great group!
