SammerJo

Justme- If things are going the way that they are and you're thinking about leaving, you definitely need to tell your ex girlfriend. Rather than just pack up everything and seemingly disregard your time spent wth her, it would be best, in my opinion, to tell her what is going on with you. She may appreciate it more than you know, and it may be beneficial on your end to let her know that you're thinking about leaving. It's one thing to still have you "right accross the street", if or when she decides to forgive you, but it's quite another to imagine you far away and to never have that chance again. I understand that a lot of your reasoning for being in the place that you're in, is because of her.. let her know that. Let her know that not much else makes sense in your life for you to stay. Don't leave especially, without telling her. Good luck.

Baaaaaad! Don't have sex with someone who isn't committed to you unless you're up for just sex without any ties. I hate to say it sweetheart, but although he may like you, he's using you for what he can get. As long as you feed into his demands, keep being 'extra nice' and letting him know that you'll be around, there's no reason for him to be your boyfriend. He's got all that he wants right now. My suggestion is to let him know that while you really care about him, you care more about yourself then to subject yourself to his using you. Good luck.

I can only assume what you must've done to hurt her and the relationship, so knowing that, I say this... Some aspects of a relationship are hard to mend when broken. Trust being the biggest of all. You realize what you did was wrong, you've apologized, you've told her you love her. All of those were the necessary on your part, but it doesn't mean that she has the right or even the 'know how' to forgive you. My only suggestion is time. Some people are able to forgive quicker than others, and some aren't able to forgive at all. Only she can be the judge of where this can go from here. You have done all that you can. Give her some space, maybe even send her an email telling her that you understand that time apart is important. Perhaps the space will make her more fully aware of what it is to be without you, or in a relationship with you. This may keep her away, and it may have her running back. I think you know what to do. Let her figure this out on her own but let her know that you're there for her if she needs you. Good luck.

Is this someone she had in mind 9 months ago, still in the picture? If you guys are still friends, and you still talk, maybe it is worth a shot telling her how you still feel. It could be that she isn't interested, or maybe she just wasn't given the opportunity before to consider you in that way because she had feelings for someone else. I think you should let her know how you still feel, and if she doesn't reciprocate those feelings, move on. There's always someone out there for everyone. Good luck.

I've been 'seeing' this guy for about 5 weeks now.. Things have progressed pretty slowly, which I take to be a good sign, but now I'm just wondering if I should be looking for some sort of sign that he does or doesn't like me. We've went from casual dates, to just hanging out.. cuddling first, and we just recently kissed.. Part of me is anxious to ask what is up, because I'm not comfortable with getting closer to someone that might have the wrong idea about what I'm looking for. Is it safe to ask what to expect from what we're doing, or should I just give it time and see how everything unfolds? I just recently got out of a three year relationship and I think that is weighing heavily on my mind in the sense that I'm not ready to get hurt again. I really like this guy, and potentially see more in our future, but I want to know that we're on the same page. Advice anyone? Hopelessly anxious

As someone from a religious background of sorts, I think it's important to respect your parents and love them unconditionally. However, my mother and I don't get along and haven't for as long as I can remember. I'm struggling with the fact that if it is OK for me to actually accept this and view our relationship with one another as "failed." It would take too many sessions to explain everything that she's done to me directly and throughout her life, but overall I find it difficult and unsettling at times to even be in the same room with her. Everything is constantly about what she wants, and to hell with everyone else in her way. I am not a selfish person, and I feel we are at complete polar opposites in personality. Most of the time I have an attitude even when she asks me some sort of simple question, but I'm tired of living in her shadows, constantly running from place to place for her, cooking dinner with no one to eat it and no appreciation, and in the biggest part of all losing who I am. I hate being hateful all the time, but she hinders the person I really am by treating me as if I owe her for something. The biggest bout so far was when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. (They are divorced.) During that time in my life I needed someone to talk to and confide in, someone to ASK me how I was, if I needed anything, just something. Just to be a mother, JUST to care! And she wasn't there.. it was as if she never acknowledged my feelings at all. Please help. I feel incredibly guilty that I think such horrible thoughts about my mother, but she's hurt me in many unimaginable ways. Is it OK to feel this way? And if not, what should I do in order to discover new feelings toward her? Thanks so much.

Coming from someone who's been a similar situation, I say this.. Your ex could be one of two people here.. someone trying to find herself and who is deeply confused, or someone who is purposely jerking you around. You of all people know her best, so I can easily infer that you can go beyond the surface and place her into either category. Everyone is entitled to grow and change and try to find themselves, but its not ok to do that at the expense of another's feelings. However, it is YOUR responsibility to break the cycle and stand up for yourself and your feelings. I believe your mistake is in giving into her, still being romantic, and yet knowing that there is another guy she keeps going back to. If your mind is set on "winning her back" try and see how she reacts to the "I don't give a shit" attitude. Perhaps if she sees that you have moved on, she'll realize what she's missing out on and want to be exclusively with you. I know what its like to be in your position. I was dumped so that my guy could try and find himself, but the difference here is that he was always honest to me. I never had to find out from others what he was or wasn't doing behind my back. I would also STRONGLY reccomend moving on, but easier said than done, I know. Just try to remember that no relationship is worth losing yourself and your self-respect. You're worth more than that, and maybe she isn't the right one to see what a great guy you were to her. You seemed as if you treated her well. You mentioned you'll be starting college in the fall, so TRY and open up to new experiences and new people. You might be surprised at how much better you might feel without the muck of what's happening now. Distance and time apart can mend a broken heart. It did mine. Hope I helped some. Reply if you need anything else.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, and overall we have had a really wonderful relationship. What I really loved about him and his personality was that he was always sure of himself, who he was, what he wanted to do with his life, and things to that extent. Now, there is an extreme change that's come about and I'm having a hard time with it. About two weeks ago we we're talking and I just jokingly comment on the fact that we hadn't had sex for a while. And we both hadn't because we're both extremely busy with work and other things. And he got pretty defensive and said we needed to talk about some things. At first I thought, "Well, there's someone else" but it turns out that it has to do with religious issues. My boyfriend and I are christians.. we believe in God. We don't drink or do things we consider to be of bodily harm, we pray often, but we've never went or found a church that we thought suited us well. Anyway, he says.. "I'm not sure if having sex before marriage is right with God" So at first I'm SO hurt, because I feel that I'm gonna lose the one thing that is an ultimate show of love and affection. I think it's important to a relationship. He kept telling me that it wasn't about me, that it was about him and his peace with God, but it's hard for me to accept that after three years of being intimate. We were also eachother's first, which makes it even more special in my eyes. Basically I need to know if its wrong and selfish of me to feel so hurt! And, what I should do next in relation to our relationship. Thanks so much.

My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 2 years, before we were forced into change and he drifted off to college and I was still back in highschool. We were close, best friends, we had all the elements of a wonderful relationship, with love and trust.. the very thing that makes life worth living, the true love that makes your breath catch in your throat and your heart flutter. He calls me the "idealist" now, because this was my perfect world, and I guess I missed out on what was really there. I thought we'd be together forever. That's how I felt, and feeling is all I know. When he moved away, he broke up with me, said he needed a change, needed to become independent. I accepted through all the tears, and agreed to still remain friends. It was what he wanted. Through the muck of it all, Im still here, beside him. When he comes in to visit, we're intimate.. he looks at me with that same loving gaze of two years ago. I dont have to hear him say any words, I can see it.. and other people notice it to. One day I got up the courage to tell him that I needed more, or nothing at all. I needed to know if our relationship was going to be more in the future, and he couldnt say yes, but he couldnt say no either. However, he did say that he fell out of love with me as his girlfriend. I cant help but be confused about what all this means. He gets jealous when I talk about going on a date, or meeting someone new on a platonic basis, but he denies it when I ask. His mom died this past April, and his father had been deceased. A part of me thinks that the loss in his life has made him afraid to love me. Please give me insight on whats going on, or some advice on what to do. I love him, but Im hurting everyday "just as friends" when I know there is something more. Please help. I'm so lost.