cg27

I will definitely let you know...unfortunately having the education does not prevent you from pain...i may know what a textbook would tell me to do but that it not always the easiest...I am actually meeting with the pastor who married me to perhaps gain more insight and guidance...thank you for listening...it is healing to hear that others have had similar experiences

The funny thing is i have my master's in family therapy! yet i realize i do have many unresolved issues to deal with. i think even if it was an ex friend i would still want this closure...the relationship with my ex was very destructive and the fact that i was capable of hurting someone really bothers me...i want him to know i forgive him and i don't want to regret never making that clear...i know it is very complicated...he may not even know who i am and may not even be receptive to what i have to say..let's face it..many years have past but sometimes it takes time to realize one's mistakes..and to see the clarity...i don't know if writing a letter will give me that "closure" but it may give me the peace of mind that i made ammends for me...

Hearing that he was married brought up so many issues..why is he happy with her and never could be with me? I have some many unanswered questions and hurt...I always knew he would move on but part of me I guess assumed that it wasn't me and he would abuse who ever he ends up with..it hurts a lot still and I don't know what to do with these feelings..i know that a letter will fall on deaf ears so will i ever get the closure i need? i feel bad that i have married such a wonderful person and he just doesn't understand how my mind works..nor do i sometimes! it has been 6 years..this guy probably has no care for how he treated me so why am i putting so much time and energy into this...

I just found out he is married...should I still write this letter?

Thank you...

When I was in college I dated a guy from my freshman year to my senior year. Over the years the relationship got worse and worse, verbally and at times physically abusive, but we were both so used to it (as ridiculous as that sounds) that we stayed in it. We broke up at graduation 6 years ago and I have not seen him since. The break up was very hard and I did some things I am not proud of but he took on the attitude that he was moving on and it was so easy for him. I was young and immature and the fact that he hurt me made me want to hurt him back so he could feel the pain he caused me. I know I should be relieved that I am not in this relationship any more..I have gotten married but I just don't feel I have ever had closure on this relationship. I am ashamed of the things I did and how everything ended. It still hurts me that we were so close and it turned into such an ugly thing. I feel pathetic that after all these years and the fact that I am married that I cannot let go to the past. I have contemplated writing my ex a later and even discussed this with my husband because I feel he should know what I have been feeling. He thinks I should just move on but for some reason I struggle with it. I would like to write him a letter and just apologize for my past actions-I don't want to look back on life with regrets and this is something I regret. I think my ex may take it as a power thing that after 6 years he still has this influence on me..but I need to move on...help?!?! How do I get this closure?