ginger_b

hi. i read your posts..... I posted my situation here about a month ago. My boyfriend dumped me... then asked me to get back together with him, promising he would change and be positive, in particular, well, I think people deserve second chances so I gave one to him. He broke my heart in exactly the same way. He´s depressed about nothing. at the age of 18 who can think that life is crap, monotonous and shallow? well, he did, andn i did everything i could to help him. still he woulnt let me . he first told me he didnt want to see me to think things for a day, then for a week. Ive been fighting really hard to be happy these last months, and he was making me feel sorry for everything. He doesnt realize that when he says his life is meaningless it means that our relationship is that too. I feel so stupid for returning to him. I broke up with him two days ago. I love him and thought he was the only one for me, but looks as though he doesnt love me... I am going to have to move on, like it or not. this sucks.

Hello again everyone! Thanks to all of you I think it is amazing when people help other people, and I really need it. I will try to sum it up here: my 2 year 2 month bf told me 2 weeks ago things didn't work out for him anymore. he completely broke my heart because apart from the fact that he's my first everything and we were engaged this was the time I needed him the most. I was feeling depressed because of several problems and he's also my best friend so I was counting on him to try to cheer me up at least, he didn't and instead made me feel worse every single time I spoke to him in the end I was really weak and everytime I asked him if he really loved me and wanted to stay with me for the last 2 months of our relationship he said yes. Anyway, after almost a week of crying every day for every moment it came to me that I really had to move on. I started going out with friends and 2 days after he calls me 20 times. Next day I finally picked up the phone and ask him what he wanted and he said he missed me, loved me and wanted to talk to me. So, we talked and he said he regrets everything that happened and that he wants to be a better person and that I am the girl of his dreams and that he still wants to marry me and make me happy. I don't know what to do. He seems honest to me but I am really really scared. He tore my heart into pieces and treated me like crap for the last 2 months. But still, I love him and of course I would love it if all he's saying is true. I told him he would have to make merits before I told him yes again. What should I do? I really want to know if this is for real I have never tested anyone for love in my entire life and I haven't any idea of how to do it. I don't really like the idea, of course it would be amazing if I just believed him and tried again, but the thought of feeling heartbroken again is just too much. What should I do? Help! Paola, 21, Mexico.

It has crossed my mind 2 times. The first one was about 8 years ago when i was 14. I didn't because I knew somehow I wasn't put here por nothing. The second time was about 2 months ago. You have no idea of all the amazing things that came to my life in between. I met the greatest friends and the guy I thought was the man of my dreams. He dumped me on tuesday, after a 3 month depression, and even thought it is undoubtedly the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through I chose not to follow that voice inside that said life is over and heal. I won't tell you it was easy because it was not, and of course I am not completely healed, but I know that the worst is over. The things I learned with him will last forever and everything I've been through has only made me stronger and I appreciate the chance I get to live everyday because you can really find beauty in the simplest things. Anyway I wanted to tell you that you have a friend in me if you need one. Feel free to PM me for anything, and remember it's not worth it, the most beautiful skies show after the ugliest storms. ginger.

Hi guys, I really need your help. Last tuesday I broke up with my 2 year 2 months boyfriend. I've never been in a situation like this and don't have any idea about what I should do. This is the first person I have ever loved and every day I've woken up since the breakup things are getting harder for me. English is not my first language but I will try to explain the situation the best I can. I really didn't want to break up but apparently he thought there was no other choice. We had been having problems for the last 4 months and I had noticed a very big change in his behavior with me. When we met and until a month before our 2 year anniversary he was the most amazing person. We would see each other at least 2 hours a day and talk for hours in the phone at night and we would never get tired of this. He was always the first to want to spend time with me and was absolutely everything a girl could ask for: honest, funny, loyal, smart, ... I also know that he thought the same about me and we were both deeply in love with one another. About 9 months ago he proposed to me and I said yes, everything was so amazing. Then, around october I was having a lot of problems at home and told him I was feeling depressed and that I needed him to help me pull myself together and have fun. This was 2 days before his birthday. Well, he didn't even care. I started crying softly and he completely ignored me. We were in his house at the moment so I went to the bathroom for some paper to wipe the tears out. He was expecting some friends so these guys turned up and he went with them to play guitar in his bedroom and left me crying in there, didn't even go to look for me after an hour. Next day we got into a fight about it on the phone and needless to say we weren't together for his birthday. This was the first big fight we have had and we both misunderstood what the other was trying to say for the most horrible things. After that day, we both talked and apparently sorted things out. I thought everything had returned to normal and then in november I accidentally opened an email written by him to another girl saying how much he missed her and thought he was special. I was completely devastated, he swore he didn't want anything with her and that she was just a friend and I believed him. For the following months and until now I was feeling really sad and instead of helping me he would make me feel worse. He never kissed me anymore, didn't give me his hand, didn't even say hi to me. I thought this would pass but it did not. We broke up because he says he doesn`t want to hurt me anymore, but he still tells me that I own his heart and that he wants to return with me someday and marry me. I asked him that if this was only to make me feel better about it he should tell me the truth and he said that was the truth but I don't get it. You don't do these kinds of things to someone you love, much less to someone that "owns your heart". I feel guilty all day even though I know I shouldn't. I try to think I will find a better person than him but I still love him. I read that to get over someone you love it takes a week for every month you've been together. This would be 6 1/2 months for me! It's too much I don't want to be depressed that long. Has anyone been in this situation? Please, I need all the help I can get. Thank you, really. Paola, 21, Mexico. Hi! I first described what happened to me, well, yesterday i sent a message to my ex saying that i needed to know that he at least didn't hate me and i needed him to comfort me and hold me to deal with the horrible breakup. he answered saying he swore he loved me and hoped I was fine. The morning passed and I finally realized that I had to move on by myself and that I wouldn't suffer anymore because of him. So, I finally managed to get some sleep and today my cell phone didn't stop ringing. 19 missed calls, all from my ex boyfriend. I didn't pick up the phone. the first two messages, around two PM said "baby please i have to talk to you please pick up the phone i swear I wont make you suffer anymore. The past doesn't matter anymore. I love you" and "Baby please I need to talk to you". Later in the night, I got three more messages saying "I phoned you all day long and you never picked up" "You know who's your friend when you're in jail or sick, (he's sick and I went to pick up his sister because she's my friend and we were going out for coffee), and you didn't even come in to say hello". "it's OK Paola (He knows I hate it when he calls me by my name. We are getting to know each other and if you want to play its fine. I only wanted to make thinngs right but now I know I mean nothing to you". This kills me guys!!! What was he thinking!!! after breaking my heart into the smallest pieces!!!! OMG i dont know what to think. This really hurts, of course I dont want to talk to him I am trying to get my life back and everytime I've done it it has hurt like hell, this was the guy of my dreams and he was the one who said it didn't work out! and everytime i talk to him he makes me feel like I am worth nothing. I don't deserve this. I guess I love him so much the thought of getting back together feels amazing and when thinking about it, it doesn't matter all I've been through but then again I can't let him treat me like crap. He will do it over and over again! Wait, one more message "It's a pity that you chose the road which will cause us the most pain. I never expected you to change so much"… I'm dying here… HELP!!!!!!!! Paola, confused and hurt like hell, 21, Mexico.

Hi guys, I really need your help. Last tuesday I broke up with my 2 year 2 months boyfriend. I've never been in a situation like this and don't have any idea about what I should do. This is the first person I have ever loved and every day I've woken up since the breakup things are getting harder for me. English is not my first language but I will try to explain the situation the best I can. I really didn't want to break up but apparently he thought there was no other choice. We had been having problems for the last 4 months and I had noticed a very big change in his behavior with me. When we met and until a month before our 2 year anniversary he was the most amazing person. We would see each other at least 2 hours a day and talk for hours in the phone at night and we would never get tired of this. He was always the first to want to spend time with me and was absolutely everything a girl could ask for: honest, funny, loyal, smart, ... I also know that he thought the same about me and we were both deeply in love with one another. About 9 months ago he proposed to me and I said yes, everything was so amazing. Then, around october I was having a lot of problems at home and told him I was feeling depressed and that I needed him to help me pull myself together and have fun. This was 2 days before his birthday. Well, he didn't even care. I started crying softly and he completely ignored me. We were in his house at the moment so I went to the bathroom for some paper to wipe the tears out. He was expecting some friends so these guys turned up and he went with them to play guitar in his bedroom and left me crying in there, didn't even go to look for me after an hour. Next day we got into a fight about it on the phone and needless to say we weren't together for his birthday. This was the first big fight we have had and we both misunderstood what the other was trying to say for the most horrible things. After that day, we both talked and apparently sorted things out. I thought everything had returned to normal and then in november I accidentally opened an email written by him to another girl saying how much he missed her and thought he was special. I was completely devastated, he swore he didn't want anything with her and that she was just a friend and I believed him. For the following months and until now I was feeling really sad and instead of helping me he would make me feel worse. He never kissed me anymore, didn't give me his hand, didn't even say hi to me. I thought this would pass but it did not. We broke up because he says he doesn`t want to hurt me anymore, but he still tells me that I own his heart and that he wants to return with me someday and marry me. I asked him that if this was only to make me feel better about it he should tell me the truth and he said that was the truth but I don't get it. You don't do these kinds of things to someone you love, much less to someone that "owns your heart". I feel guilty all day even though I know I shouldn't. I try to think I will find a better person than him but I still love him. I read that to get over someone you love it takes a week for every month you've been together. This would be 6 1/2 months for me! It's too much I don't want to be depressed that long. Has anyone been in this situation? Please, I need all the help I can get. Thank you, really. Paola, 21, Mexico.