arrowbee

You two who have spent the last six years soaked In blood and spotlight and sweat and tiny words and rain and rain and rain You two who have kept me out of more trouble than I care to think about "You seem like a sensible kid," says the policeman Probably just because I keep you two around You Two, who have lain in a half-folded pile on tables and beside beds Sometimes with two companions, bending and cutting the moonlight into four Now meet your demise Under a beer-propelled foot I never thought I'd get this attached to a pair of glasses.

Your psychiatrist is counting down the months till retirement Twenty-seven He won't show you your file because it's nothing but grocery lists and doodles Two ball-point-pen girls playing beach volleyball The blue one is winning again Hipsters on the patio mispronouncing French cigarettes Mixing hard and soft G's Hard and soft drinks When you see an odd number of lights in the distance That means there's a bus coming God never creates just one of anything But he does seem quite fond of odd numbers You tell the bus driver you'll never complain about bus drivers in this city again Ever since you realized that the cops were worse The LED lights in her apartment window mean someone's home You think about 99 New York beat poets lamenting the ugliness of neon lights And wonder if any of them lived to see LEDs The door swings open You didn't even ring the bell but somehow she just knew you were there This might not be such a bad birthday after all Twenty-seven.

I think this is going to eventually become a bluegrass song, if it doesn't get crumpled up and thrown away first. -------------------------------------- Drinking twenty-year-old scotch New Year's Eve two thousand nine He leaned back and took a swig And told me it was mighty fine I took one reluctant sip It could have been good, I don't know But it made such pretty stains When I poured it on the snow He said "What did you just do? "That stuff cost more than your house" I said "You can't take it with you "When the reaper calls you out" (Chorus) I pour one out for those I knew And a few I never knew It might look silly but it just feels like the thing to do I pour one out for absent friends I pour one out for Danny B. Cuz if our places were reversed he'd pour one out for me. They should never see me cry Good thing my glass can cry instead And sometimes I'll reflect on something Jorge Luis Borges said "May heaven exist somewhere Even if hell calls our names" He didn't mean it as a toast But I'll drink to it just the same (Chorus)

Ooh...look at that! Today I got an acceptance letter in the mail from the very last-chance college I applied to. Score!!! Thanks everybody for your replies, but EVERYTHING just changed. My passion for music is finally paying off.

Hmm. I think I'm good with animals (although I've never worked with horses before) and 5-noon are my peak hours for physical activity. Neat! Super neat! Maybe it's different in Canada, but either way I'll get by. Thanks for the idea. I am going to ask around about this...

I appreciate the brain-racking!!! But every job seems to involve either more education than I can afford, more equipment than I can afford, or a bigger pay-cut than I can afford. Maybe I should just go back on antidepressants until I've learned to love my call-centre job, since it seems to be my destiny. The most painful thing that can happen to you when you're working at a call centre is discovering you're good at it.

Yeah...but in Canada you need a bachelors' degree or better before the parks service will hire you.

After spending the last six months getting bombarded with college rejection letters, I have decided to give my chosen career (music production) a rest and try something else. The problem is, I have no idea what kinds of jobs I might like. I have hated all of my past jobs, because they were A) very people-oriented, and B) I had to spend most of the day indoors. Are there any jobs where you can go most of the day without seeing another human being, where you spend at least half the day outdoors, and where higher education is not required? - since that does not seem to be in the cards for me at this point.

The option of suicide should always be open. Several of my friends have been suicidal; each time I made a point of NOT trying to talk them out of it. In the end, none of them hurt themselves, but letting them know that suicide was an option took some of the pressure off them and made it easier for them to deal with their problems.

Don't you think it's arrogant to tell people you don't even know that their problems are temporary?

Hyvää päivää, ystävänni. (That right there is the only Finnish I know.) It's not just in your head - Canadian women are the same way. Where are you thinking of going? I envy you because of how close you are to the Baltic states and Russia, where, I'm told, the problem you describe is far less common.

No offense but I think this attitude stinks. It's the reason why the divorce rate is so high. My parents "settled for" each other, and had low expectations throughout their marriage, but they are the happiest couple I know.

I used to be really curious about how a woman's experience differed from a man's, when it comes to online dating. Once, while I was very bored and zonked out on a drug which I shall not name, I tried to imagine what kind of online personal ad I'd write if I had been born a woman. I posted the result to Craigslist and I got two dozen responses on the first day alone. Even the replies that were from successful, funny, attractive men, just seemed....boring. Nobody stood out, for ANY reason. The problem with online dating is, you can't see the weaknesses and frailties of the person you are talking to, and this makes them seem a lot less human. Even if you say you're "shy", there are so many variations of shyness that it is impossible to picture what someone is like just from that one word. I suspect that weaknesses and frailties are what REALLY attract ordinary people to each other.

I never said there was "no hope", I merely said that looking for outside help from certain people is not the answer. The best way to deal with depression is to get lots of exercise, eat right, stay in touch with the natural world, and if someone tries to push you around, PUSH BACK AS HARD AS YOU CAN. I may not have a PhD, but I have experience, and this is what experience has taught me.

I won't be doing any praying. Prayer doesn't work. It's something that very small people invented so that they could feel like they have more power over the world than they actually do. Even if I knew I was about to be murdered, I would not pray. You can hold me to that if you like. Psychiatrists are dangerous because the ethical framework within which they operate is utterly detached from reality, yet they consider it infallible and they answer to no one but each other. Psychiatry is not a science. There is no OBJECTIVE way to measure mental illness. If a psychiatrist commits you against your will, it's not because you're ill, it's because he thinks you're ill, and he has the power. As they say, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Of all the people I know who have been processed by the mental health care establishment, not a single one came out "less depressed" or "less obsessive-compulsive" or whatever. Furthermore, most experienced abuse of one kind or another at the hands of the staff, ranging from sexual abuse to robbery to religious prosletyzing to forced druggings. But, doctor knows best, I suppose...