mylolita

And @dias I know it sounds like a trite platitude and, it might mostly be. But you really don’t ever know. You can look at odds and chances for everything. I actually have come to realise in maybe a cynical way but also maybe it’s a… truthful, liberating thing - that most people, the majority, can’t have it all. Someone once said, you can have it all, just not all at once. I can’t remember where I heard that. You find people doing well in their careers but yet, their family or personal love life is not so great. Or vice versa. Or people got the money and objects they wanted but now they’re stressed. Life is drastically bitter sweet, in my opinion. The spice with the sugar, the sweet with the sour. Something’s gotta give. I mean, death is kinda a fly in ya ointment isn’t it 🥲 What can you do? I was out today with the girls and, I happened to see just, the cutest baby I’d seen in many years. This baby was objectively, SCRUMPTIOUS! All the Mums were trying to hold her. I could hardly take my eyes off her! And I was struck with this broody ness I haven’t experienced since before my youngest was born! And I was suddenly thinking back to how cute they all were, how delicious! And I found myself wanting more! As if I haven’t already got enough? I even got back home and mentioned it to D and asked him how he’d feel about a fourth. I knew he wouldn’t be automatically saying yes like the other three - I was right. I think we’ve finally settled. I’m 34 as well. But anyway, there is always this “gimme more, there could be better-ness!” urge. Whether you find someone or you don my Dias is really up to mysteries of the universe. Chance and, timing and all of that. There are many ways to be happy. I could choose to be happy so much - but often, I choose to lament. It’s a state of mind. I kid myself into thinking I “only need this last one thing” like a drug addict consoling their “final and last hit before sobriety” and, Y’know, the satisfaction never fully comes. Human nature?! Or being an ungrateful spoilt brat?! Probably the last part for me! 🥹 The people fatigue is very relatable. I used to come home as a 14 year old girl from house parties, annoyed to hell, and write scathing half satirical half serious hit pieces and character assassinations about everyone who had annoyed me that night. I even used to laugh out loud reading it back sometimes! The teenager in me still basically does that - LOL! Obviously never grew up or matured! People can be amazing, the best. They can also be DRAINING and depressing. x

This scene, when I saw this film, I was about 15 I think and it summed up my feelings around that time, when I was in this limbo, waiting room phase. You might be able to relate… “As a girl you see the world as a giant candy store filled with sweet candy and such. But one day you look around and you see a prison and you're on death row. You wanna run or scream or cry but something's locking you up. Are the other folks cows chewing cud until the hour comes when their heads roll? Or are they just keeping quiet like you, planning their escape.” x

Or solid chocolate in golden foil LMAO x

I remember a lot of teachers saying “IF ONLY YOU’D APPLY YOURSELF!” But I think often they presumed more effort = better, but with me, I actually don’t think that’s often the case. But then again, I’ve never really tried at anything much because I’m a lazy bee and spend too many hours drinking coffee, over thinking and planning what to buy and obsess over next, item, person or place! 🤣 My biggest most consistent and challenging; but fruitful effort has been in my marriage and family, and to me, that’s enough for any one gal and enough to keep you always ticking over when done to a kind of, personal and private “art form!” I think everyone has at least one ability talent! What is yours @dias? x

Cheers Dias! 🥹 I wouldn’t stretch to the word talent…! But, I used to do these very quick ink sketches, that one was probably 15 mins. I’m starting to see a bit of a pattern where I do a lot of things quick, like writing and cleaning and other kind of “tasks”. I never dedicate myself to anything, it’s a curse. Jack of a lot of trades, master of none. I throw myself into things quickly in a self taught way and then sack it off. I suppose the only consistent things I do have been dancing and writing. My Mum and Dad are fairly artistic. I’ve always wanted to have a go painting an oil on canvas portrait! Or just a segment of an intense pair of beautiful EYES! I did a stint attending nude art classes. I then became the model for a bit for extra money - LOL! Dabbled in ceramics, dabbled in dress making for a very brief and short time in my early teens! I can appreciate art by God and as you know, we have it everywhere in the house, along with me fluffing about in interior I suppose but again, I don’t see that as a thing. My kids are all very artistic, much more artistic than me! And I know parents say that; but I have to have a bit of a, proud parent moment and say, my little chiddlers draw every morning at our big antique table. I set out pens and water colours and things for them and they do that before I wake up. My husband has a big interest in birds, especially exotic birds and he knows most Latin names as well. Our kids have picked this up. These are two little pictures my son scribbled out at 5 years old. In my opinion, these are pretty darn good and even show a “style” for a 5 year old. My middle daughter is very much the same. You might be able to tell the first one is a Robin who he saw in the garden that morning! I guess I don’t list off things I “know how to do” because, who does that really and especially on a journal? I play guitar but acoustic and I finger pick it/pluck - my Dad also has a 12 string I’ll pick that up. I also dabbled with Celtic harp and borrowed one for 6 months and semi taught myself. I can play the flute LOL this is left over from school. I could maybe just about wing it in an orchestra. I play penny whistle as well, Irish jigs (errr this is the Irish heritage coming out I guess!). Oh I’ll pick up absolutely any instrument. I play a bit of piano as well. It’s all in my own way, like I do everything, I don’t learn the rules first I kind of attempt everything a** backwards. I dabble in a lot of things over the years Dias but like I say, “master of none!” 🤣 x

I apologise Yoga for throwing this off, but I will leave with my kind of dance which just, for me personally HAS to be the one and only Salma Hayek!!!! A testament to the sensual erotic dance and how, a woman need not do much - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Aaaaaaand then marry a billionaire. Ka-POW! 🤣 I joke. But, as a Tarantino fan, I think we can agree 🤩🤩🤩 x

By the way, ever had your yoga teacher say “wow you’re flexible?!” First class you took? 🤣 Then they get to know you were a dancer and it all makes sense? 😎 I was never at your level but, I had the same experience the first yoga class I ever took and it was just left over flexibility from the pole dancing 💃 x

So cool Yoga!!! 😍 The ballet sounds ruthless and I know I would NEVER have been able or had the ability! Do you still dance? Or go to any lessons? Sometimes when we get older we kind of stop doing anything that feels “free” and I know dancing is just one of those highly emotional and personal things. It’s also so creative as well, and I think no one can quite estimate the fitness or strength of professional or serious dancers until they try half an hour of it themselves! 🥲 x

Thought you might enjoy some of the choreography in this Yoga if you haven’t already seen it! With you mentioning your ex boyfriend, it made me think this is the first “masculine” kind of dance sequence I have seen in pop music for along time! Kinda cool to have a fellow dancing GAL to look up too!!! x

@dias takes RnB dance lessons right!? You will be a far better dancer than me Yoga!!! I never did anything professionally or took any classes. I did pole dancing for work of course at the club, and ended up dancing naturally and unorthodoxy probably in my own way as in, how I approach everything which is basically, untrained and feelings/wing it lead! I dance weekly myself but only for myself, it’s a spur of the moment thing, and have done obsessively since being a tiny girl! How was ballet?! It always looks so graceful. Reminds me of classical music. Technical, extremely accomplished, to look effortless. I have my own style of dancing that isn’t anything like the moves in your videos but I can appreciate the sheer discipline and also, remembering the moves and have it all seemlessly synch together!! Was your boyfriend a technical/pro dancer too? x

We had a similar sounding song as the song for our first dance when we got married! Might have been a little off beat kinda choice I guess but, we always loved the song. When he suggested it, it made sense! All the pretence of dancing left really and he held me by the waist and I just buried my head into his chest and tried not to cry! x

x

His ability almost feeds and confirms the gay rumours 🤣🥲 x

!!!! ♥️ 🎵 x

John Travolta can dance 🕺 x