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tishatti, thank you for your heartfelt, sympathetic post. i might have to take you up on your offer soon unfortunately having lost your mother and brother is beyond terrible, but at the very least you have a family of your own who loves you very much and who is willing to support you in any way possible...for they have lost members of the family as well. the reason your post especially touches me is because you say you lost your dad when you were 9. that is simply an injustice to you as a person and i send my deepest condolences, tho 30 years late . my father right now is terribly sick fighting for his life with each passing day. i am willing to make my peace with the situation seeing as how i got to know him, but i have a younger sister (15) and brother (6!! ) who really should not have this happening to them. my dad is a noble man, helped others his whole life in charitable work, and loves his family more than life itself. he doesnt deserve this and itz extremely unfair not only my family, but the rest of the world...he still has more people to help. it seems like some horrible nightmare and you're hoping to wake up soon , you know? anyway thanx for listening to me. when did you mother and brother pass? was it recent? i would be more than happy to help if you still have issues to sort out. i'll send u a PM... --jin

this is my first post here in a long time. i hope you still read this thread. it is truly unfair the way some things turn out in life. my father is incredibly ill right now fighting for his life with each passing day and the thought of him leaving is the worst pain i can possibly imagine. he is a good man, has devoted his life to helping other people, and loves his family dearly. this just isnt fair. the reason your post caught my attention is because of your age. 14 is too young for this. i am 19 now but i have a younger sister and a very young brother. it will effect the lives of so many people if my dad goes that it makes me extremely angry how unfair the whole situation is. the only advice that i can possibly offer and that i've lived by my whole life is: things happen for a reason no matter what happens to us in our life , no matter how much it hurts, we still always have enough to go on and it makes our spirit that much stronger. please update us on your situation if you feel like it... --jin

i gotta agree with gabby on the age thing. 13 is just too young to be messin around with in my opinion, but true love cannot be denied by age. dont allow the fear of rejection in your brain to get the best of you. next time you see her, just go up to her and force yourself to talk to her. i know it sounds dumb but it works, believe me. dont give your brain that moment of hesitation to tell yourself "no" and u'll be fine. try waitin on poppin her cherry tho bro

man u know exactly why u feel this way... u went to the forum called JEALOUSY. i agree it sux big time to have the thought of a girl you like, or worse love, being banged and put into degrading positions by some dood who didnt even care about her. unfortunately itz a fact of life and u have to learn to live with it, just like the person in the future that loves you has to accept that you've had sex with someone else. u arent the only one going thru the pain, just remember that n u'll be fine

all very good advice so far. i was in a similar situation to you actually, but worse. my ex-g/f of 3 years just one day told me that she thinks of me more as a brother than a b/f. we were deeply in love, planned out the marriage, career, kids, etc. it didn't even hurt that much when she wanted to end it...what really hurt was when she moved on without me. now some a$$hole is banging the woman i loved and at times just crushes my soul thinking about it. but you have to move on knowing you're not alone in your pain. day by day i just got myself focused off of that experience and in time have come to feel better about it. time really will help heal the wound, but only if you let it. what i think is somewhat of a miracle PaRadox is how there's always at least thousands of other people on the planet feeling exactly what you are at the same moment. don't take the experience too personally, itz all part of being human and in love

hey man, although in the end it duz suck , consider yourself at least somewhat lucky that you got to be with her that one last time...the one that meant so much to you. after i saw my ex this weekend all hell broke loose, and i realized she's moved on for a long time with somebody else (i wished it was a lie like you got, but sadly no), and wont come back to me for a long time. by chance, the day i come back this great girl that i've been getting to know lately grinds with me at a party ( 8) ) and drops all these hints to me that she wants to be my girlfriend. now we're goin out and itz really helping me reflect on and cope with my 3 year relationship with my ex. the best advice right now would be to move on with another girl in your life , cuz it really is the best medicine for our pain. we're not alone in our pain...we'll get thru this in time

i have another post around here about my relationship, but i'll give a brief overview. i went out with this gurl for 3 years (to a teenager 3 years is like a decade ) and one day back in january she dropped the bomb on me that she didn't wanna go out anymore...she didnt want to waste her youth by settling down so fast, but she thinks we should get back together when we're older like 25. it didnt really hurt that much at all because i have a feeling she and i were meant to be. many things pointed me in that direction, i dont wanna get into it, but for one example we have the SAME birthday. wut hurt me was a week later she told me she had a boyfriend and they've had sex before. this devasted me. i fell into a deep depression for about a week, but cut off all contact with her...i had to get my life back together. things were going well until i slipped up ONCE, and wuz weak enough to call her up about 2 weeks later. during that call (i dont know wut i was thinking) i said how about we meet a month later. she agreed...but the day we're meeting is tomorrow. since we've talked i've "been with" three girls, but i felt so empty afterwards cuz i didnt have that conneciton of love i had with my ex. she initiated several conversations with me during the course of this week that all went REALLY well. basically i told her, i'm not sure if i'm ready to see her again, but she said she would like to meet with me, has dreams about me all the time, and misses me. she and i were so close we always know wut the other is thinking. something tells me she will come back to me if i dont (censored) up our first meeting. so basically my problem is, my heart is aching for her and wants to see her and my brain is telling me "no" and holding me back. i'm really a whole new person from the one she knew, physically and mentally (i've been doing a lot of meditation and working out) and i think she'll like the new me a whole lot better. is this a bad idea? i'm not expecting to get with her right away...hell i dont even know if i want to get back with her yet. i'm just so jealous some other guy is enjoying the happiness i had for so long ya know? any advice would be greatly appreciated, sorry this was so long!!

feelingsolow, i have gotten myself into quite a similar predicament. my ex-g/f (long-distance, 3 years) and i became so close to each other that it just eventually turned into a brother/sister kind of relationship. it devasted me totally when she dumped me. we had planned out kids, futures, careers, etc. together and it seemed like we would live "happily ever after" ya know. then next week i find out she has a boyfriend and they've had sex. that caused me to be in a deep depression up until a couple weeks ago. i hit the gym and took a totally positive spin on things (this site helped me out so much) and decided to move on. you have to cut off ALL contact with her for at least a few weeks cuz everytime u hear her voice it will upset you even more. when i made my one and only slip-up on calling her (don't make this mistake!) we set up a date to meet, and that is NEXT week. i'm totally not read[y to see her, but a mutual friend is coming in from out of town to visit the both of us. itz gonna be hard to keep up appearances in front of her. it was really correct before when someone said you have to act, in a sense, PERFECT. i'm not too sure if i can do that now cuz i've been heading in such a positive direction. so make sure the next time you see her you are psychologically ready to be around her in a totally different way. i guess we'll both see each other's conclusions soon enough. good luck everyone!

sarah , everybody has these rough patches in their life...do not feel like you are alone in this. 3 weeks ago when my g/f of 3 years broke up with me, i was devasted and that day i actually considered ending my life. i truly thought she was my soulmate...we planned on kids, marriage, future, etc. the part that hurt the most was she moved on really quickly and is with another guy which mixed in anger and jealousy with my depression. i had to realize tho that in my heart, things will get better with time, and they do get a little better every day. someone else will come along for me, and life will become bearable for you as well. just know that you are never alone in your thoughts and feelings. sites like these are great proofs of that

wow, i dont mean to be rude when i say this but itz almost comforting knowing that there are so many people with almost the same exact problem as me at the same exact time. (u can tell i'm new to this site...which means i'm still heartbroken ). my long-term girlfriend of 3-years has recently broken up with me. when ur together that long, itz almost like a marriage, ya know? believe me, in teen years, 3 years is like 10 adult years we planned on marriage, kids, future careers, etc. and said i love you everytime we were together. and then one day she just said "i dont know if i can love you in the same way". it didnt even bother me that much since she implied it to meaning about a month's break. then i checked up on her about 2 weeks later, only to find out she has a boyfriend and they've had sex my heart shattered into millions of pieces...i couldnt even breathe, went thru the whole suicidal thing for about a day. she had moved on without me, it was definitely one of the most painful experiences of my life. about a week later i realized it wasn't her i was really in love with. what i loved was her loving me back, i was never lonely...and she knew this. being lonely again is what really hurt me. so u have to let yourself know that other people will come along...it isnt the end of love, it's another beginning! family and friends are also big helpz for things like this...HUGE helps. you are DeFiNiTeLy not the only person to ever have experienced this kind of pain, nor are you the only one experiencing it now. i understand what you mean about running into them. you just have to find ways to avoid them, see if u can even change the area where you work so u can avoid them altogether if it really gets to you psychologically. itz just a part of life, and with time you'll understand things will be better, and one day you will remember the whole experience with a smile. hope this helped! we'll all triumph together!

man krylar, that is a sign that she wuznt there to talk when you wanted to break up with her. you must be able to see that it was not coincidence...a divine entity was looking out for this gurl when you came to that horrible decision. i cannot understand how a person that considers themself a decent part of the human race can even ponder the thought of breaking another's heart in such an awful way by ending any loving relationship...especially when the love still exists and there is merely an obstacle in the way! obviously i have recently gone thru a breakup myself (it was a 3-year relationship ) so i'm thinking this way. but let me tell you, if there is love between you two, do not give it up. u will regret it at some future point in your life, especially when she has moved on without you. so take this event as a sign and don't break it off...especially just because the parents dont like it.

man sean dont say stuff like that cuz u will only encourage me to even further hurt this coward a*s piece of sh*t. i've tried to organize my thoughts lately, and the best i can come up with is that if i go over and destroy that guy (which is looking like wut will happen ) then it will give her even more reason to stay with him, and take even longer to return to me. so for the time being i'm just gonna pretend neither one of those evil people exists and have another good time drinkin n dancin like i did tonight with some friends 8) we are physically stronger, but we gotta show them that we are mentally stronger as well. these b*tches love to play these f*ckin mind games , so we cant let them get to us aiite man? however difficult it is for you to sleep, it is equally or even more difficult for me, so you got a fellow good human being suffering along with you. none of us are alone in our pain, remember that. dont do shit you'll regret unless it is your last and final option. peace to everyone...

errr why do girls always pick these dirtbags? my girl now is with this skinny little prick who could care less about her...he wuz just in the right place at the right time, so to speak. so i know wut you're going through and itz killing me too. what is your plan for valentine's day? i'm not sure if i should try and talk to her on that day or not...i'm in the process of cutting off all contact with her for a few weeks time, cuz if i sound desperate in any way, it will only fuel her to go further with this guy and for him to bad mouth me more. if you possibly can, keep yourself VERY busy, and try not to contact her (if you two were really close). this will cause her to be left wondering and curious about wut happened to you...and when she contacts you act like life is just peachy and that you're in a good place. we'll all overcome these problems in time....good luck to everyone

wow touch, i'm so sorry that guy forced himself upon your girl like that. are you still with her? i know this gurl inside and out, everything she is thinking, and she knows everything that i'm thinking. this guy is simply a rebound guy... she has self-asteem issues (what girl doesnt) and craves attention from any guy that will give it to her. this f*ckin prick wuz just in the right place at the right time, and now he has stolen the pleasure i could have had in a sense. she will see he'z not a good guy for her soon enough, and then she'll be interested in me again, but i dont want to set myself up for another heartbreak...also, by that time i may have moved on and already have another g/f. i'm just trying my best to keep this gurl (and especially that guy) out of my mind. itz comforting to know that there are a lot of us in the same boat...you are never the only one going thru your problem. we'll all struggle and triumph together...thanx for the advice touch!

too bad i didnt get to this site sooner, it could have prevented many mistakes i made . mikey i know just how u feel, and itz actually comforting knowing that there are (MANY) other people out there going thru exactly wut i'm going through. i was with my gurl for 3 years... we thought about marriage and kids all the time. then the other day she drops it on me like a bomb that she isnt in love with me anymore. i simply felt confused... that turned to anger when i found out she moved on so quickly. she is now with another guy...and that is wut really bothers me. i called her and sounded like a little p*ssy but i wont make that mistake again. cut off your contact (i know itz hard, believe me, but it has to be done). no e-mails, calls, contacts of any kind for near to a month. i'm only about 1 week thru this so i truly understand how a month can feel like a year with this kind of pain. hang in there, we'll all get thru this and triumph in the end, because we represent good in our hearts and not the evil these gurls imposed upon us