Jump to content

-Hollywood-

Members
  • Posts

    53
  • Joined

-Hollywood-'s Achievements

Enthusiast

Enthusiast (6/14)

  • First Post
  • Collaborator
  • Conversation Starter
  • Week One Done
  • One Month Later

Recent Badges

1

Reputation

  1. yeah we talked about it, and he agreed that it was a terrible thing to do, and that he won't do it again but if he did have to do it again - work is work after all - he would be more tactful about it: set up a time and date to make up for the flub up right away, apologize in the moment, call to check in even if i am mad, things like that. but the thing is, even after all this compromise, how far should i let it go if he does it again? this relationship hasn't reached the serious phase yet, and already i'm feeling stressed out about him. and he still does some questionable things like not calling when he says he's going to call. i'm starting to feel as though he doesn't respect me at all, and worse yet... that there's someone else. -H-
  2. so i've been dating this guy for about three weeks now and already twice he's flaked out on me last minute for a date that we've planned for at least a week in advance. the first time he was quite upset about something and didn't want to come out for fear of being a wet blanket, which i understand. but the second time, which was on friday - so the feelings that i have are still quite fresh - he had work to do with a buddy, whom he got in touch with the night before, and yet we planned our date for that night a week in advance. now i understand that his work is important to him, but this is the second time that he had flaked out on me last minute, so i think i have every right to be mad at him. and i am. i've been pretty cheesed all weekend, and it's driving me nuts. we haven't talked specifically about his flaking out on me, but i did tell him over a conversation about something else that i don't tolerate flakes and liars. i know that he had work to do with this guy, but he wasn't even tactful about it - he didn't suggest an alternative time or day that we should make up for the missed date, he didn't apologize until i reminded him that he was the one who suggested we get together friday night and that i had held up all other plans to be with him that evening - all he did was call me up, explain that he had work to do, and asked if we could postpone our evening. i wouldn't have been so upset all weekend if this hadn't been the second time he's cancelled on me last minute. i'm really starting to think that he doesn't care about me as much as i care about him, and i honestly don't know why i'm so upset about this - i would have dumped any other guy on the spot. so now my question to all you lovely smart and articulate forum-ers out there is: should i confront him about what happened friday or wait for him to call me and talk about it with him then? the reason why i'm so torn is 1) i'm so incredibly mad that i may end up saying something that i might regret and 2) i don't know how it would look status-wise for me - the ditchee - to call him - the ditcher - and confront him about this incident. also, he had work to do, which i understand is important to him, so i wouldn't want to look like a suffocating demanding wench when we've only been seeing each other three weeks. but i don't want to look like a door mat either. any thoughts? -H-
  3. hi everyone: i don't know what to do lately about school. seems everytime i have an assignment or a big test i end up just barely passing. and it's not that i don't understand the material - i honestly think that i may not have what it takes to be in school. i study, but my memory can't cope under stressful situations, and it's hard for me to articulate myself concisely and in an organized manner when it comes to essay and short answer questions. i really feel stupid a lot of the times, and i really don't know what it is that i'm doing wrong. i take courses that i enjoy, and the profs aren't all that bad. i attend classes and i pay attention. i keep up with the readings as much as possible, and i have a part-time job on top of it all. i find school extremely tough and enjoyable at the same time. i really don't know what it is about me that makes for such awful grades. any insight? -H-
  4. yup - i too am feeling sad. it's an on and off thing lately. i know how beautiful life can be, and yet every once in awhile i am reminded of what is missing in my life - someone to share my life with, someone to talk to every once in awhile, that sort of thing. i can't help but feel sad at those times in particular.
  5. exactly: see? there's only so much you can do. even with the many clubs and activities that i am involved with, it's still hard to meet people. and the internet can only go so far in terms of a substantial (not necessarily romantic) relationship with someone. i feel somewhat without control of this situation and yet i feel quite happy with life. i think my only hang up is that i know a relationship would be good for me right now - but i have no idea where to look or when it will happen or even if it will happen again and blah blah blah - it's a weird feeling - happy but in search of something to make life even more grand - does that make any sense. i don't know. i got a big smile on my face as i write this, because it's so true - life is beautiful.
  6. yes, most definitely i have clubs that i attend and have other interests that keep me busy: i am currently enrolled in a martial arts club, i dabble in the theater, i go to school full time, i have a part time job, i play musical instruments, and i do go out every once in awhile. the thing is, my martial arts club is filled with mostly women or guys who simply are not my type; i hate actors; school is filled with younger much more immature boys; i work with one other person since i am a tutor; and i practice music alone. school takes up a lot of my time, so there's not much room for anything else - and when i do go out it's with people i know of course. ack! how difficult. i just want to meet people.....
  7. hey all: i recently realized how much i want to share my life with someone - i'm finally admitting to myself that it's something that's missing in my life, and that i don't think life would be so bad with a boyfriend. i've valued my time alone and have gained much wisdom and happiness from being single. i have had companions and a boyfriend in the past, but now that i am single again, i've been thinking about how being in a relationship would be a good thing for me. the only thing is, i'm awfully shy around men - i don't generally aproach men unless they start talking to me, and even then i get tongue-tied. that and i have such a busy life that the only potential place i can think of to meet guys is at school - and that's tricky because a lot of guys there are either way too immature, or too serious with their studies to get involved with anyone. i don't go to clubs or bars, and i don't have a lot of friends either who could "fix me up" with anyone. so are there any suggestions as to how and where i can meet guys around my age with the same interests as me? let me know. cheers. -H-
  8. well, in my defense i must say that i know what i feel when i feel it: i don't use the term "falling in love" loosely. and i still don't understand how things could suddenly end like that, but i am grateful that he was honest with me, and i am happy and extremely thankful that i got to spend a portion of my meandering existence with someone really great, instead of the usual meathead i come accross. and i got to love someone for a brief time, even though that seems impossible to most of you. i emphasize that my original post was more about the shock of it all, and how to deal with that shock, rather than trying to get back together with him. i think i said that i respect his decision, and that i want him to be happy because even if did fall out of love with him, i would still care for him very much. i hope he finds happiness, even if it's not with me. i guess i could question if it was me all along, if his decision to break it off had something to do with what i did, but what does it matter anyhow? i can't go back and change things, i can't wave a magic wand in front of his face and make him change his mind about me - like i said, i respect his decision and it would be futile to get back together with him - i don't think i want to anyway. so that's that, and thank you all for your replies. -H-
  9. well i don't know what to do - i don't know whether or not to start dating again ever. he was the one who broke up with me, i had absolutely no issues - i was ready to love him and be with him and take care of him - now i don't know what to think. i don't know whether or not to surround myself with people or to take some time alone. we were only together a month - i can't be THAT hung up on him. i don't know what to think anymore.
  10. so my bf broke up with me today, and he says that it's nothing i did, no one is at fault, he really isn't afraid of commitment, he says he still likes me just the same and cares about me - it's just that this relationship is simply not going to go anywhere. that's what he said anyway. and i'm so shocked and confused - i didn't see this coming at all. i really like him and i think i'm falling in love with him, and i was so happy and suddenly out of nowhere he breaks up with me. i really don't understand how something like this could come without warning, especially when things don't add up. why doesn't he want to be with me? is he just lying? could there be someone else? i can't help but be hurt and confused and jaded all over again, and i just want some real finite solid answers.
  11. hey all: i'm a little confused about something and i'd like to consult you enotaloners before i confront my bf about it, so here goes: i've been seeing this guy for about a month now and our "anniversary" i guess you could call it is coming up on the 28th of august - we will have been seeing each other for exactly one month. now i'm the kind of girl who will celebrate any and every silly little milestone - the last day of school, the last day of summer vacation, moving day, and so forth - but i figured, hey, one month of seeing each other, that's pretty darned special. so i asked him if he wanted to "celebrate" with me on monday, and he said that it may be too early for that sort of thing, that, yes even though we have been seeing each other for a month, it's been a fast month, and that to "celebrate" a one month "anniversary" would be a little too soon for him. now what i don't get is that he is willing to move as fast as sleeping with each other, and willing to say that i'm his girlfriend and to stay committed and monogamous with me and all, but cannot move as fast as "celebrating" a milestone like being together for one month with me. i have no intention of forcing him to do what he doesn't want to do. nor do i wish to go any faster than how we're already moving - i only wish for clarity: what could possibly be the difference between moving fast enough to sleep with each other, say that we're bf/gf, and be committed and monogamous with each other; and moving slowly so as not to acknowledge our being together for one month? i really don't understand. hope some of you can provide insight thanks -H-
  12. computer dating.... hmm.... i'm not sure i'm ready for that. i struck out ten times this year and i've informally promised myself that if ever i got to ten then i would give up on men and move on. and most of the time they just want to sleep with me anyway, so i think it's best that i not pursue anything right now, no matter how lonely i get. thanks for the suggestion though. i have a feeling it wouldn't work out anyway, as i have the worst luck with guys. -H-
  13. slightlybent, that's what they all say: it happens when you least expect it; eventually you'll find the right guy, etc. but what about in the meantime? what about that time in between when i have to deal with all these guys who only want me for sex, and the lonely times in between too? what about those times? i just want to stay in bed all day, i'm so incredibly depressed. no one wants me for me. and i keep going deeper and deeper into this pit of despair--- i don't think i'll ever get out.
  14. dragonzeyes not much i can say to that. women like me hide out because of all the rotten guys who have hurt me. and then whenever i do decide to emerge even for a moment, it's the same guys who come to me and hurt me all over again. that's where i hide. man, i'm lonely.
×
×
  • Create New...