Greetings
I am a mid thirties guy. I have dated a lot of women. But I have only been intimate with my present partner, and she knows that she was my first. We have dated for just over a year.
But I am really at emotional rollercoaster with this relationship. All 3 of our major arguments or disagreements have been over past boyfriends or relationships in her life.
She has made it a point of always talking about who she dated. We would go places and she would say " I guy I dated brought me here", or " A guy I used to date did this or that". We had a major discussion about it and she had stopped doing this somewhat. I have rarely talked about who I have dated.
We came back from a pre-marriage relationship in which I thought we were creating a bond. But the first thing she did was get on her computer and look for IM conversations with a whole host of guys names that I saw listed. She says that she doesn't talk to them anymore. But then she came back with, " I need to a shoulder to cry on or male friends to bounce ideas off of if you leave me or we break up?"
We argued about a past boyfriend that called her house late at night and she claimed that she couldn't stop him from calling. This was months ago.
Now she says its okay to remain in contact with ex-boyfriends she has been intimate with, even though we are together. She claims that even though they broke up, whatever she found attractive in them is reason for her to remain friendly on a regular basis. A lot of their contact is via IM.
Over the holiday, I went to her mom's house for dinner. And her mom knows that we have been dating for a year. Am I crazy to think that she is needling me when I find a photograph---- of my girlfriend and one of her exboyfriends in an embrace-----right in my direct eyesight by the dinner table?
Am I jealous? Have I allowed myself to become jealous? But was has angered me is that my feelings have been hurt in each of these incidents. She claims that she loves me dearly and this has been her best relationship. (She is also a divorcee) I love her dearly too. But I don't feel comfortable. And it is so hard to break away.
