thatwhiteguy301607306432

Hi all, Thank you for the warm and encouraging responses. Today is Monday, and it has almost been a week. I decided Saturday that it is time to make some big changes in my life. The first thing I did for myself was to quit drinking for the next couple of months. That felt good in itself, and my mental state is already much better. I also joined a gym, and have been working out steadily 2 hours a day since Saturday. Man that feels good too. I have kept up with my pledge to give her time and space. She has been calling me daily since the break-up, and I have not called her. She says that she will continue to call me to provide support while I deal with my issues, and if things change in a big way she will reconsider getting back into the realtionship (BUT she has her reservations about whether things will work out at all). Talk about mixed signals. I can also tell that she is hurting with this, and is angry with me. When she calls me, she acts cold and puts up this false protective wall - every once in a while she slips back into friendly mode, and then realizes this and is bitchy again. Last night, I had had some time to think about my life, and our relationship. I told her this, and entered into an extremely honest and brutal talk about my behaviors, and apologized. I also affirme for her that I realized that I had not been meeting some of her specific needs. I explained that if and when she would like to spend some of her time with me, that I would be appreciate this and be honoured. She seemed honestly taken by this all, and I could sense her anger and resentment coming down. She would call me again tonight (Monday). I'm scared that she is doing this just to make herself feel better (and less guilty about backing out of things). I'm scared that as soon as I get my shit together, she will still want out of the relationship. I want to win this girl back, but I also need to focus on me. I think I'm going to keep making positive changes, and try woo my babe back slowly but surely. I know I'm going to have ease off, or back off any early attempts to see her though. Any tips or similiar experiences appreciated. Thanks Thatwhiteguy30

Hi, My life is a mess right now. I do IT consulting, and lost my main client this week - this had been kind of coming for a little while so I expected it. On top of this, my girlfriend of a year asked for some time and space apart the same bloody day. I don't know where to begin. I need to get some sort of income going again fast. I'm pretty confident on that aspect of my life. I'm also trying to figure out what is happening with this relationship. I know things have been up and down with us for the last couple of months. She has been unhappy with herself and some of my behavior(s). These things have made her grow distant emotionally and sexually. The other day, she asked for time apart while I 'get my act together'. The night she asked for this time apart - we sat down and talked. When she asked for all of this, I asked her what she meant by 'time and space'. Here's the thing. I don't know where her head is at. She spends the first part of this conversation putting me down, and our relationship. She then recommends that we take some time (major time) like a month apart. Then she goes on to say she does not want a serious relationship right now and goes on about how independent she is. (Last weekend while she was at my place she was going on about kids, marraige, and our future in a very positive light). Anyway - At the end of our conversation the other day, she confuses me by saying that she thinks this will be good for her, me AND us. I pointed out that she said "US" and she said yes - that she doesn't want to give up on the relationship. She also said that she would call me tonight. Truth is she has been pulling away from me for the last while - and has been saying that I am too demanding of her time. I love her, but I need more attention and affection from her. What the hell do I do? Do I respect the fact that she needs this time and space, and work on myself for a while - and wait for her to come around? I don't feel that it is fair that I be made to wait around for her. I'm hurting, and need to lessen my confusion here. I almost want to say to heck with the relationship - and not answer the phone when she calls tonight. One of my friends said that I have been acting like the pursuer, and her the pursuee for the last couple months. Should I suck it up and stop being so needy? Should I turn the tables and not have any contact with her? Any tips would be appreciated. Thanks.