CutieGirl

This week has been kinda hard for me, Christmas and his birthday tomorrow, but I'm hanging in there! Just thought I would share this article in case there are any women out there have been dumped and are considering calling him to ask him for another shot. I suppose it can apply to the men too! Anyway, I don't know why, but this article has really helped me to be strong! It has reinforced the vow I made myself to let HIM BE THE ONE to reach for reconciliation and for me to never call him to initiate a "make up" again. Hope it helps someone! _______________ Why You Should Never Call Men When They Break Up with You: If You Get Dumped, Don't Call Him! When a Guy Breaks Up with You, It's Never a Good Idea to Call Him Begging to Take You Back Cassandra James, Yahoo! Contributor Network Mar 22, 2009 I'm currently on vacation in Chiang Mai, Thailand, and just spent part of yesterday with a Thai woman who's boyfriend broke up with her a couple of weeks ago. During the last two weeks, she has called him at least one hundred times, begging him to take her back. His response? "It's over. Get it?" and this was in a text message. Needless to say, she is devastated and asking over and over "Should I call him?". The correct answer? "No". When a guy breaks up with you, you should never call him and especially not to beg him to take you back. Men don't take women calling them begging very well, and here's why. Don't Lose Your Self-Respect - When a guy breaks up with you and you call him begging him to take you back, you immediately lose any respect he had for you. Continued calls, text message and begging will turn him off even faster. Don't call him. Accept the break up and move on - happily. The result? Ninety percent of the time he'll decide he's made a mistake and want you back. Men Want What They Can't Have - Men like a challenge. They like women who are not easy, and who are definitely not too nice. If you are too easy, keep calling, keep begging and pleading, and keep contacting him then you're an easy girl, no challenge, and his interest for you is gone. Completely. So, if you want your boyfriend back when he's broken up with you, don't call him and when he does eventually call you (and he will!), tell him you're busy and you'll have to call him back. Then wait two or three days. By this point, he will be chomping at the bit, wondering what you're doing and who you're with and why you haven't called him. Men Like A Woman Who Doesn't Put Up With Their B.S. - When a man breaks up with you and you don't call him, what you're saying to him is "I don't need you and I don't need this relationship. I've got better things to do", and then you get out there and you do them. If you call him begging for him to take you back, you're putting up with his B.S. If you stand up for yourself and let it be known you're not willing to put up with his behavior, he'll respect you a lot more. Too many women are afraid that, if they stand up for themselves, their boyfriend will leave them. Not true. In fact, they're a lot more likely to stick around if you do. The last time a guy broke up with me I told him, "Yep, you're absolutely correct. Our relationship isn't working, let's just break up". Needless to say, five days later, he was on the phone begging me to take him back. Men Like Women Who Like Themselves - When it comes to you and a man, always put yourself first. If a man sees that you like yourself and you're not willing to accept behavior from him that is disrespecting yourself, they like you even more and really want to be with you. The last time the guy I like did something I didn't like, I sent him an e-mail simply saying, "Your behavior isn't acceptable to me. If you continue with this behavior, I need to just stop seeing you as I respect myself too much to put up with this from anyone". I got an immediate apology via e-mail within 30 minutes followed by another e-mail two hours later asking "Did you get my 'sorry' e-mail? Why have you not replied to me?" I made him wait and then told him in no uncertain terms, why I would not put up with this behavior from him. Believe me, he hasn't done it since and he now looks at me with a new look of love in his eyes. So, remember.....the next time your boyfriend breaks up with you, thank him kindly, tell him he's correct, and then disappear from the face of the earth - and don't call him!. By the time he is finally able to contact you, he'll be so happy, he'll be putty in your hands. link removed _______________ Have a Great Day!

Can anyone offer any advice?

I LOVE THIS POST! It's just what I needed right now. I had a question though: I've see in many of the post that the couple that broke up were together for YEARS. I was only with this man for 5 months, but I felt I had finally found my soul mate. In the beginning we did have a brief break up in our 1st month but after about 10 days I text him, we talked, got back together and things blossomed into the most promising, beautiful relationship I had ever known. Then our journey ended because he lost interest, doubted his abilities to make me happy, etc. I was devastated. I had felt him slipping away and had worked myself to exhaustion trying to save our relationship, but the more I presses the more aloof he became. I know he didn't leave because of another woman. When things were good they were wonderful. Lots of intense love, planning for the future and free flowing communication. All of a sudden he ended it. I didn't try to convince him to stay this time. I didn't say anything actually. In fact I immediately gave him all his belongings AND all the gifts he'd ever given me and said Bye. I still love him, but don't recognize him anymore. Although I miss him a lot, I am 11 days into NC and do not plan to ever reach out to him again. If we make-up it will be because he initiates it. I sent him one final text the day after the break up telling him know he needs to sort things out for the sake of his happiness. I told him I'm still the friend that loves him, is praying for him and is concerned about him. I told him that if he needs me I'm here and to take care of himself. I am doing all I can to be strong and move forward. I just wanted to know if you think reconciliation can happen with a couple that had NOT been together very long. He's a little older than me (52/41) and can be very set in his decisions sometimes. Even though I think he regrets leaving, I fear his pride will keep him from reconciling. I truly believe he does love me, but lost passion for me. He had been struggling with a lot of depression and self doubt when he ended it. I'd always have to coax him back in when he was feeling unsure about our relationship. Do stubborn men come back eventually?

Any advice?

OMG, OMG OMG!!! Have I messed everything up? He broke up with me because his depression had gotten the best of him. I was pretty much his closest source of emotional outlet. I didn't protest the break-up at all. No crying either. I gave him all his stuff and all the gifts he game me and simply told him good-bye, but then because I started getting concerned for his depressed mental state a day later I sent him a text telling him I was still the friend that loved him, prayed for him and was concerned about him, I told him if he needs me, I'm here and to take care of yourself. My 1st objective is to get my head back together, but to also get him to miss me and come back with more sense than he did before. Will the text make him think he can come back anytime he wants? I haven't contacted him again. I deleted his voice mails, texts and FB friendship. I have NO intentions of contacting him again unless he makes an sincere effort to change and reconcile. Did I ruin everything?