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blequ001

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About blequ001

  • Birthday 07/31/1980

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  1. Hi The notion that there is a direct correlation between a person's fear of rejection and level of insecurity is crap, for so many reasons. For instance, at the root of any sort of acquaintance with another person there is a basis - the perception of shared values or beliefs, shared tangible activities, "chemistry" - something. It happens this way because as humans we are social beings and subconsciously seek acceptance from others and recoil rejection, and are thereforeeee drawn to people and situations where we are likely to be accepted. Its also why most people feel quite intensely nervous just before delivering a speech to a large group, for example. We don't feel like this because we are insecure, it's because it is how we react once we know that we are openly risking our acceptance by other people by addressing them in that way. Now you mix this basic instinct with the instincts involved in dealing with the opposite sex and you're bound to have someone affected if rejection occurs. So it does make sense to consider these risks before "asking someone out". I will go out on a limb and say that by and large guys are rational with their thinking on most things, including this. They'll weigh up both negatives and positives before taking action, which means that they will not necessarily ask a girl out they "fancy". Lack of rationalism here erodes transparency, which obviously means that the risk that something doesn't happen between two people that should, based on the facts, is increased. Mind games, inconsiderate conduct, manipulation - deliberate or not - they're just a few examples of things that don't leave room for rationalism, and thereforeeee transparency. My advice? In your situation I think that you should do exactly what I would do - weigh it up. How much do you "fancy" him? (Remember to base your "profile" on your own deductions, not on others' opinions). If you decide its worth pursuing, drop a few clear hints or even "ask him out". This promotes transparency by enabling him to weigh everything up as well.
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