ticklebug

and how exactly is a 15 year old going to go all the way to the UK to visit? Let's be realistic here...you think your mom would buy you a ticket and get you a passport to go meet some person from a computer chat? And that doesn't even get into hotel, transporation, meals...etc... she needs to grow up...

no. love isn't words on a computer screen or voices on the phone. Love happens on a much deeper level than that and requires the physicality. Now she CAN "love" your sense of humor, or your charm, or you way of putting things...you may share like views which makes you attractive to her...but that isn't LOVE...that is a deep appreciation for who you are. She has no idea about you as a person... I suggest you tell her to find someone in Utah...that you enjoy her friendship but that is it. The whole idea of loving someone who is "accross the pond" presents a multitude of obsticles even if it is a TRUE love...muchless some cyber fantasy.

max your text had nothing to do with it really...regardless, she still doesn't know you well enough to feel comfortable going out on a date...

she is a nice girl from everything you have said about her...you were at the same party and she just contuned to be herself...nice. You have to accept that she doesn't return your same feelings and was being social & friendly as you were at a party. It would have been rude of her to ignore you.

recovering... no, you are incorrect. I don't think that it will never work, I find it rare, yes...but I do not subscribe to putting your life on hold, lying in wait for the other person to change their mind, becoming depressed/obsessed...allowing your life to become solely wrapped around the idea of getting someone back. Playing games and trying to force someone to see you have changed, or expect them to suddenly wake up and realize what a wonderful person you are. That is completely unhealthy. If it is meant to be so be it...but making it your one goal or eles you will never be happy again? Sorry, I won't ever agree that is the best way to go. cassiana - when it comes to "acheiving in life what you want"...that is about PERSONAL goals...things about yourself, success for YOU personally. Security in and of yourself. You can't make someone love or want you no matter how much you want it. If it is meant to be so be it, but you can't MAKE it happen. You find the idea of this guy trekking around the world rediculous...well, it's somethig in life he wants to achieve...it's for him and him alone...regardless of his obstacles...you seem to think he would be better off staying home, being taken care of by you and allowing himself to BE his illness. Who are you to dictate how he should live his life? Wanting to have friends around occasionally and wanting a relationship are two totally separate things. Stop combining the two. Just because he enjoys your company on a friendship level every so often, or want to be around other people at times...does not mean he's ready to give up his heart to anyone. It's quite obvious he still has some things he wants to accomplish in his life before he even considers a life with anyone. He has different priorities than you and it is something you need to accept. As I said to recovering, if it's meant to be...fine...but let it takes it's OWN course. Don't stop living your life while waiting for him to live his. It may NOT lead back to you.

LOL you aren't a loser....some of the most sucessful people today started their lives by being inquisitive...it's not a bad thing to be...always wanting to know more... hehe ice cream, I'm sitting here eating ben & jerrys as I type =)

ok, so when you met your current husband, whenever you had a few drinks in you, you found yourself liking him more and seeing him as more attractive than when you were sober...but when you are with him on a day to day basis you find things that annoy you... now you say you are lusting after a bartender....one can only assume from that you are AT a bar when you see him and have a few drinks in you...when you are sober you are already expressing things about this bartender you don't like (smoking for one)... hmmmmm...pattern perhaps?

because you are 15 and curious about something you don't understand...you don't think it can really be that simple.... but it is, trust me, it is...

if you still aren't over your ex don't get into anything with this guy...Him trying to talk you into it by telling you "everyone has to take chances" is not fair to you and you need to let him know that. No one should pressure you into anything you aren't ready for. I seriously suggest you stop crying on his shoulder about your ex...find a girlfriend to do that with...anyone else but him he's trying to play the role of affectionate savior in order to win your heart, and he very easily could...but you aren't ready for that and it WILL be a rebound and you both will get hurt. He needs to respect that al you want is a friend right now, not anything more, and if he won't respect that...and still tries to talk you into more, walk away...

actually, you are quite normal...15 *IS* about the age all that starts... Guys (and girls) that "start" younger...it's really more the social pressure of thinking they are supposed to be "drooling" so they do it to seem normal...when really they have no clue what's going on... you, on the other hand, have let nature take it's course...and you aren't being influenced by what the people around you are doing...which is a good thing. You are a unique individual...don't start the bad habit of comparing yourself to others...it is not worth it. As long as you are happy with who you are...it's all the matters.

silent as I suspected...basically your dream is your hormones telling you your body/mind is preparing to actually LIKE the idea of girls...but are nervous about it...(the whole buildings in ruins crashing thing) reason you remember it is because you are going through an actual physical and mental change... the subliminal mind...you have heard the song...just don't realize it...could have been in an elevator for all you know...or on a tv commerical or program...but you've heard it

silent...feel free to tell your dream...there are a lot of people who remember every dream they have... if you are a teenager, and it was somewhat sexual/invoved a girl and was otherwise just plain out and out weird... your hormones have a lot to do with it... not to mention...dreams really are not THAT big of a key to your "subliminal mind"

by homeschooling, does that mean your parents would hire tutors...or your mom would try to teach you herself? Most homeschooling, if done, is during the primary years (k-8th). High school becomes complicated as it is the springboard to higher education. If you have any plans on making something of yourself by getting a college degree, you need to think twice about getting into homeschooling during HS. Many colleges do not accept it as a true form of education unless your parents can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt with highly detailed records and tests (and you still will have to take all the state tests) that you truly received a well rounded education like those who were in accredited high schools. The transition from middle school to high school is tough, there is no getting around that...you go from top dog of a school to bottom rung and some kids do have a hard time adjusting... you are stil growing as a person, and just because you are the moody keep to yourself type right now, you are only just starting to become "of age" and growing into your body in both physical and mental ways... I seriously suggest you stick it out...

if you have been diagnosed previously with clinical depression...for the rest of your life you have the possibility of it creeping back up on you. My concern is that you got your meds from a general practitioner and not a psychiatrist that you see regularly. You didn't post anything at all about even having regular appointments with someone. Clinical depression has to be treated three fold...you working on yourself at home, medication and most imperitavely....counseling, so that you can be monitored for just what you are experiencing now...sucidal thoughts and your medications can be monitored to ensure that you are getting the right one (or combination) and at the right doseages. The fact you are becoming so incredibly unmotivated is a huge red flag. I urge you to seek a professional to speak to before things get worse. Clinical depression is a disease of sorts...it isn't anything you personally can control, it's an imbalance in your brain chemical activity... please see someone soon.

If he does come over Jan 1...I woudn't answer the door...by how he reacts to that you will get a pretty good idea if he is "stalkeresque" or not...and give him a message that you can handle your life on your own.