Jump to content

troutboy

Members
  • Posts

    29
  • Joined

About troutboy

  • Birthday 03/31/1974

troutboy's Achievements

Contributor

Contributor (5/14)

  • First Post
  • Collaborator
  • Conversation Starter
  • Week One Done
  • One Month Later

Recent Badges

1

Reputation

  1. Thanks for your replys, I can't help but feel angry towards her for going. I should have also added that she was with him when we met and I was also in a relationship - not the proudest moment of my life but we did make it work against all the odds, we carried on this affair successfully for about 5 months prior to us each leaving our partners (which I have no regrets about). I guess on the plus side it will be easier when she is gone, as I see her every day at present. I also agree that her excuse that she can't stand seeing me with other women is pretty weak. One reason I think she is going is his family, she is from England and his family is the only one she's known for many years. It's just soooooo hard sometimes, we do both love each other, but it obviously just is'nt enough from her end... I wish I could change her mind. Thankyou
  2. I just don't get it, we only just started talking again and things seemed good, she was flirting heaps with me, saying she misses me, we have serious chemistry, she even says she loves me on the odd occasion still! We have been broken up 3 months after a year relationship in which she always kept in contact with her ex, he's a nice guy, why not! - and she has been his only serious girlfriend - they were together 5 years, he's 30 and shes 34. She left him cause he was stressed at his job and didn't show love towards her, owes money (still does) but they were best of friends, he now says he's happier and changed and wants her back into his life - he lives in another city. She comes to find me tonight at the beach saying that she is leaving my town to give it another go with him, this decision has taken her 6 months to decide since he asked her, she says she has nothing to loose and she is mixed up - I am devestated, she says part of her decision was based on seeing me with other women all the time by chance (I have been dating), says she can't handle it, we met last week and had a great time, kissed and hugged at the end of the night. I somehow don't believe her though about me being the catylist for going... We also work together and live very close to each other. What are the chances of her and the ex succeeding? Do you think that being back together with an ex for these reasons is stupid - I want her to see what she is missing, so how do I do this, I guess it's just about letting her go and finding out for herself. I always believe that people don't really change and shes setting herself up for heartache by going back to him - need advice on what to do. pleeeeease help, heart-broken again...
  3. Because I feel I have moved on, met new people etc. I coped really well, much more together than I expected to be when meeting her. N/C obviously had an effect on her, you could see she'd been following my life through others which says to me, she really cares. I have no regrets about meeting her. She seemed sad and I was happy - just after we split up she had an abortion to me - which I think has made her a bit emotional, she didn't tell me this, she let it slip last night after a few drinks...
  4. We had a nice night, a few drinks and stared at each other for what seemed an eternity... We talked and talked, flirted, she kept touching me. I acted all happy and upbeat, shes said she loves me, always did and would've married me... but she is sort of back with her ex, but he lives in another town, she has been undecided for the last 6 months whether to move to be with him or not, and she hasn't left yet - 6 months on, she says if she does it will be for good, kids, marriage with him etc. She says 'he's changed' and is a much happier person now. Although I doubt this. I love this woman to bits, she seemed to know everything that I have been up to which was interesting, and I mean everything!!!! Right down to what I have been buying via the internet! She was especially interested in the women I have been seeing... we hugged for ages when we left the pub and we gave each other a small kiss on the lips, then she started really crying (she hardly ever cries!). I talked to her for a bit on the phone when I got home which was nice, like old times (after shed checked in with her ex on the phone!) I acted all happy and upbeat which I was. How can I get her back, I miss her and I think she misses me???, half of me wants her to go live with the ex again so she can see what shes missing in me, her ex and her were together 4 years, me and her just 1 year, he never said he loved her in that time and wasn't affectionate at all, loved his job more etc. - but now all of a sudden he is saying these things constantly since he's sort of got her back (she hasn't moved yet - 6 months later!) She left me in January, we got back together briefly after that and slept together in again in mid-april. I am a bit lost as what to do now? I did N/C for about 2 months which was great, I'd like to be her friend but even more I'd like to be her partner again - how should I play this now, leave her alone again, she hinted this morning (we work together) we get together again soon to burn some CD's at my place, I asked her up last night but she said "I don't trust myself" round you repeatedly, then she suggests this??? Help me...
  5. Sorry I should have elaborated more, no I am not with the girlfriend anymore, we were just not compatible, I ended it with her earlier last week after the weekend. So I am not seeing anyone at present.
  6. I feel she never really treated me that well, we split up because I couldn't handle the amount of constant contact her and her ex had, she was considering getting back together with him when we split and has spent a lot of time with him up until recently - well it's been 3 months or more and she still hasn't moved to be with him as she planned - saying she doesn't know what she is doing. I've been great with NC and actually met two other great women - this really threw my ex and she often said she finds it really hard I'm with someone else now, sometimes getting very angry almost! We talk very seldom, but have emailed just a little latley, I'm not with someone now. I asked her for a drink last week and she immeadiatley replied yes. She also came to the pub last weekend when she knew I was with my new girlfriend and didn't stop staring and trying to get attention. We still have an amazing amount of chemistry when we are together and the last time we met for a drink we ended up sleeping together! The fact she hasn't moved for her old BF says to me she doesn't know if shes coming or going. Does she still have feelings for me, do I have a shot? I'm planning on acting very upbeat and happy when we meet - is this the right angle? Talk about the good times we had etc. We were together for a year, and when it was good it was good. Her old BF is her best friend and I doubt I could ever separate them, but I would love to have her back in my life again and want me back, perhaps I should play a little hard to get? How should I act and do you think I have a chance?
  7. I simply cannot believe how similar our situations are. I am hurting still over my beautiful ex, and we had the best sex life imaginable... like yours there were good times but ohhhh sooo moody and inconsiderate to my feelings at times. She has just got back together with her ex after our 1 year relationship and it soooo hurts to hear. I also need to take a long hard look at what I saw in her - so please help me with how to overcome this! I am now with someone else but i cannot stop thinking about my ex, we work together and it's hard. I find myself constantly asking her round for a drink, the other night we got drunk, made love and it was fantastic... and I so want to do it again as much as it's killing me inside. I wonder how the new (old ex) will fare - I can honestly say I hope it doesn't work out for them. How do you get through this... I know I am shallow!!!
  8. Well... things are good and bad... I have called it off with the new girl as I couldn'y give her 100% because of the feelings I still feel for the ex and it wasn't fair on her. The ex and I caught up last night for a drink, I wanted to be happy and not talk about her and I but she seemed to want to reminisse about the good times we had, she was flirty, the evening was fantastic, we got a bit drunk and ended up sleeping together... I lost count of the number of times she said she loved me, over and over and over again, missing me etc. It was really nice. She is hanging in limbo as to whether stay in town or move away, her ex is wanting her to move down to him, she was considering it but she says she doesn't love him like that - only as a great friend. She still says her and I are not compatible (I think we are) but I am the only one to ever treat her so good and love her. Apparently she said she was even harping on to her ex about all the great times her and I shared. I know sleeping with the ex is not a good idea, but it happenend and it was nice - I hope we can get through this, I'd love to have her back in my life and this is a strong indication of her feelings I feel? I definatley need to be on my own for a while and I told her this last night. I really don't feel she is playing games with me, she just isn't like that. I think I need to give her space still? She is going down to stay with her ex and his family this weekend for his 30th birthday, I'm not too worried anymore, she was in tears again last night stating they are, and have only ever been best of friends. Do I keep in contact or give her space? Thankyou
  9. You are right on this, I think she really is confused, she has started also hanging out with really young guys (as friends) alot, it's confusing me as she has never been like this (she is 34). I saw her on Friday night at work drinks and she was all super friendly again - I think she wanted to come out with me and my friends to celebrate my birthday. I also rang he on Saturday to chat and she was all matey and adamant again we were just mates, but she didn't want me to loose the feelings I had for her and that me still loving her and her loving me is not fair to the new girl? - I don't know what she is playing at to be honest. She also keeps telling me it's hard seeing me blah, blah... but she constantly emails little nothings to make contact? Thanks for your insight.
  10. Man my life gets more interesting by the day! To cut a long story short, I was with a woman I really loved for 12 months, we were both in relationships when we met, but we defied the odds and made a go of it - we also work together, things were good. We broke up mostly because I was jealous of the huge amount of contact she had with her ex and the final straw was her going away with him (as friends) although we technically we'rent together at the time. We just have soooo much love and attraction to each other... even still. I've just done about 3 weeks of no contact with her, it was really good for me and her. Anyway I recently met someone else, I told my ex, as I didn't want her to hear from anyone else (we work together remember). Anyway this week we have exchanged a few emails, shes been really down and recently quite sick, but keeping her head high. We've had a few laughs and just done our normal staring into each others eyes for ages! The new girl is soooo lovely but my ex is holding me back from it all.... I still love her to bits! And want to be with her! The ex came over last night to pick something up, we sat and talked for 4 hours, she was really down, and started crying about how stuffed up she has made everything, admitting her friendship with her ex has blown any chance her and I had (this was VERY hard for her to say), saying her life was crap etc. etc. and she will always love me, doesn't know where she wants to live - she is from (England). My ex is beautiful, model material and I melt when I look at her, it was soooo hard... BUT... I held my head high and pretended all was great in my life, which it sort of is. I walked her to her car and we hugged and cried together more, she hates I am seeing someone else, she never cries and was crying ALOT! Then we had a couple of really nice short kisses and tight cuddles. But all the while I still maintained I was happy with my life at the moment and everything was good - but the reality is I would love to have her back in my life... I'm soooo confused!!! Do I have a shot with my ex again, I cannot really give 100% to the new girl as I am constantly thinking about the ex... I want her back - do I have a chance - what tactics???
  11. Thanks for your replys - I just tried to talk with her, but she ended up telling me where to go, wants nothing to do with me etc. started crying (it was a big fight). Just sent her an email saying I'm sorry it's come to this and I had good times when we were together. She is running long distances 6 days a week and her job is also getting to her - there is nothing else I can do I guess but to just cut-off and call it quits. She also just told me she forwarded onto her ex last Friday (who she is best friends with), one of these supposedly b*tchy emails I sent her - I think that is really low of her. We were together 18 months but she always had this really close relationship with her ex, which ruined us in the end I feel. She is very very independent and you are right I can tell she really cares about me still - she just has a funny way of showing it. I give up, just hard to get her out of my head and I've been doing so well!
  12. I just can't figure her out, I really miss her but I have been getting on fine after she called it quits with me about 4 weeks ago, we had the odd kiss and hug up to about 10 days ago as we still have a lot of love for each other, I haven't had hardly any contact, but it was fine when I did see her on the odd occasion (we work together). She was with her ex last weekend at a festival and they are great friends, I know that for a fact. She has been off work sick the last few days and I didn't call or anything, shes back at work today and I sent her an email saying "I hope you are feeling better" and she replied with "get [deleted by mod.], you were all [deleted by mod.] last week and now you want to make polite chit chat" I hardly spoke to her last week! And I know I wasn't [deleted by mod.] at all!!!! So what is wrong with her, shes been all mopey, head down and depressed looking this last few weeks and I am worried about her. I love her to bits and we have always had soo much chemistry but I don't understand her being like this to me. I replied simply saying "if she wants to talk about anything or needs anything I am there for her" and left it at that - I have been getting myself together really well but would also love to have another chance with her, could my no contact be getting to her? She has made no attempt to call, email or txt me??? I am also away for the next two weeks, but I'll be thinking about her - what should I do? Thanks
  13. My partner dumped me a few weeks back after we startrted to scrap quite frequently, esp. over her ex and the amount of contact they had, (we'd broken up about 3 times and got back together over this) she said I was obsessive and we we're just two different people - I agree we are, she is very independent, but I love her to bits and I know she really cares for me too. Anyway we work together, not directly but in the same building, I see her everyday, she is keen for us to be the best of friends, we we're together for over a year and we have this incredible chemistry STILL! We just stare into each others eyes when we see each other, it's like a drug. We went to a party together in the weekend as friends and we both had a great time, I walked her home and we had a nice couple of cuddles and hugs, she kissed me a few times on the neck and then we had a quick kiss on the lips... is this how friends behave? We hugged for ages, it was quite sad. I know we still have something there. I would love to have another chance with this women, but one of the things I can't stand about her is she is often sharp, snappy and moody, but we had such a great time on Saturday night. I have tried N/C but she just comes past my desk all smiling and flirty, or rings me at home after a week. It's hard when I work with her, and she just lives around the corner. I can't but think we still have a glimmer of hope after Saturday night... I've not heard from her since. I get the odd email from her making comments like she'd love to go to the movies with me, dinner etc. "but it's not appropriate" etc. etc Leaving my job is not an option for either of us really, could giving her space work, making her jealous (she is a tad of a jealous person, although she'd never admit it, and she always queries me about talking to other women). When it was good with us, it was really good I thought, I really miss her company, she is into running and runs 6 days a week long distance... I think running has made her into a different person!... Should I continue to be the friendly guy... our chemistry is out of this world. Advice please!
  14. Thanks for all your advice - you are all right, I called it off with her, she did'nt seem to be too bothered, it is'nt right and it's not fair on me. I would never do it to someone I loved and the fact I didn't factor into her consideration says it all. Ho hummmm plenty more fish in the sea and all of that! I just happen to work with this women unfortunatley! Thankyou all for confirming what I guess I already knew but didn't want to admit. Andrew
  15. Long story, but I got back together with my girlfriend after she dumped me - things have been rocky tho, she came crawling back a couple of times after no contact... "it does really work"! We have however had a few good times too, but sometimes fight over the amount of contact her and her ex have. Anyway she runs and is doing a mountain run in another Island. Her ex lives there and they are the best of friends, going out and talking/texting all the time, he is a pilot and often flies up for a few hours at a time and the odd overnight - it has taken me ages to accept they are just friends and she CONSTANTLY reassures me that that is all they are, nothing more. Anyway she and him are staying in the same hotel during the run (separate rooms). I have told her I'm not comfortable with this but again and again she reassures me that they are friends nothing more - even tho they did go out for 4 years. I have never stopped her doing anything and I never will, but what do I do??? The main motivator for him staying during the race is that another guy she really hates and he has hit on her before is doing it too and staying in the same complex, and she wants someone there - I offered but she said she didn't consider me as it is really expensive to fly there and he is there anyway and can pick her up from the airport etc. Am I being paranoid??? I know they are friends not lovers anymore...
×
×
  • Create New...