GettingOverIt

It is not easy.... In my experience, it takes years for this to happen... And sometimes, when someone THINKS they have fallen out of love, there are usually other issues involved... Falling out of love, for me, meant that all the things 'wrong' with a relationship were (in my mind) beyond fixing, beyond even trying anymore... I still cared very, very much but nothing I did seemed to make a difference.... And, then again, some of the things I did were hurtful, too... It had become something of a vicious cycle that we could not seem to get out of... Finally, after a long hard look at myself and at everything around me, I just didn't think I was in love anymore.... Sometimes, as they say, absense makes the heart grow fonder.... Someone thinks they are not in love anymore actually realizes that the love never left, just got lost in all the other stuff.... And, of course, sometimes, the love really is gone for good.... In my experience, that has more to do with the pain and suffering of the relationship more than anything......

I am interested in the 'real' meaning behind this post, too... What is the true question being asked?? Are you asking because YOU think about others, and your BF doesn't maybe?? Did you guys have a fight about it? For the record, I tried thinking about someone else once, but my mind quickly returned to the woman I was making love with... I was way too busy enjoying her to think of anyone else...

I agree with s2s... You need to find out WHY this person wants to know... I mean, even if you were with one person, who's to say you didn't have sex 900 times? Does that matter? If it does, WHY does it matter? Get them to answer that question and then you can begin to address the real issue at heart... If the fear is the 'notch in the bedpost,' then you do what you can to assure them they are not that (assuming they are not)... I would be curious as to why anyone would say, "too low..." What the blankety-blank is THAT supposed to mean??? Anyway, I digress...

You definitely have trust issues.... You need to get those under control or you will run him off with your mistrust and eventual accusations... Until he does something to LOSE your trust, you have no choice BUT to trust!

I first came on here about a year ago, maybe two now? I was seeking help, and discovered I was actually helping others, and in the process, I ended up being helped, too... It has been a while since I have posted here, but I have started again (for a while, anyway).... I have also made several friends through this site....

Uh... technically, you are NOT a virgin... Once it's in, you're out... As far as the size, etc... I agree with the other folks here so far... A lot of it has more to do with angles and positions... How do things work if you do straight missionary? (That is, you on top, 'traditional' position)... Since you are able to talk about this with her, let her know your concerns... I also agree with YOU putting yourself back in... Take some control... Practice... Let her know that you want to make wild, passionate love with her, but right now you need to learn from each other... what is too fast, too hard, etc... The only way to know is practice... And, if you start to feel frustrated, take a break for a bit... Play orally or with your hands, feet, etc... Whatever... Make it fun, keep talking about what is working and what's not and let the two of you figure out what works best... You may want to consider a book of positions, just to try different things you may not have thought of... Some will work, some may not...

I have a question for you to think about... Why are you keeping the photos? If it is just to have the memory, then keep a couple and toss the rest. If it is to remind you of places you've been or events or whatever, I would write the event or place on the back before you put them in the box... Yes, I'm sure you would also like to be able to remember people from your past, but write her name on the back too, then. Trust me, 50 years from now, you may not remember who she was, where you were, etc.....

For me, anyway, everyone I have dated becomes part of who I am, part of what makes me ..well.. me! ;-) If they didn't, then why bother in the first place? Just because you discover you can't live with someone (and I do not mean literally move-in necessarily), does not mean that you have to stop caring about that person. Yes, we all need time to heal, time to move on from the heavy emotions of the relationship (and the turmoil of the end of the relationship), but that does not always mean that you must shut each other out of your lives.... I know, many on here do not agree with that line of thinking, but that's my own way of looking at things... If I love you, I love you forever. Maybe not as deeply or in the same way as dating, but more love than just the 'love thy neighbor' kind of thing....

It's weird but my 'exgf' wrote me today, too... Something in the water, I guess... Anyway, I opted to reply something short, and forced myself to keep it as aloof as possible. Here's a weird result of her contacting and my replying: I always wondered what would happen if she wrote. Now I know. I can truly say that if I never hear from her again, I would be okay. I wasn't always sure of that until today... My advice is the short reply, as long as you can handle it, and as long as you do not believe it will set off anything deeper than that on EITHER side of the coin.... Say you are doing fine, the family is doing well, and that you have b-day plans. (Do not be specific, and say it even if you DONT have plans....). My 2 cents... (which you can't even add to the 'old' 37-cent stamps to pay your bill....)

Milk products tend to coat the throat. That's why milkshakes work well... It is not a ploy to get more shakes (well, maybe a little one!), but try plain or chocolate milk....

Some of the best advice I have ever heard! If something sounds too outrageous, check snopes.......

No touching? So, you arent going to initiate ANY hugging, hand-holding or anything??? That is not any way to start a relationship.... You want to know how much is too much? Ask HER.....

It doesn't have to be a 'one time thing' nor does it have to be an 'all the time' thing... I think you should talk to him about it....

Gradually, those things may trigger memories, but the emotion behind the memories will not be there... There are lots of things that trigger memories of me and an exgf (horses, a certain perfume, etc), but many of those things have no emotion attached, just the memory.... When things first went awry though, anything and everything set me off... Seeing Her favorite color would set me off... Okay, silly, I know, but do you have any idea how many YELLOW things there are in this world!? Like I said, you will gradually lose (or diminish) the emotion attached to these things.... If you listen closely to the radio, there are a lot of songs about cars, drinking, etc... I call it the 'Volvo' syndrome - you never paid attention to those things until it became the focus of your life, so now you hear and see those things everywhere you turn. For me, as a child I had never seen a Volvo, but once I did see one, I saw them everywhere... Look for yellow wildflowers... Trust me, they are everywhere, I noticed... ;-)

Then write him a letter and send it (after you wait a couple days and re-read it a couple times)....