Lonelyinasmalltown

myself, being single, I find I'm going out on dates at least 2-3 times a week. Most dates never go past the first one, but it's all good. =)

I see you deleted almost all your posts MissDashwood. I was following them with great interest. I'm sorry to say I think you were living in a dreamland about this guy that when people started injecting reality into the mix, you didn't want to hear it. Hence why you've deleted or modified almost all your posts. If you ever do read this, let the man go. He's married and not to you. Find yourself a nice single guy who will pick you instead of marrying someone else. Good luck to you.

I for one am sorry to see you go. Please don't get mad though because you got advice that you didn't want to hear. Of course we can't know everything about you and him. We only could comment about what YOU told us and what we were able to see in between the lines. Honestly, my original opinion still sticks, I think the backed off so long so that you would get the hint that there is nothing between you two, that he is with his wife and that's not going to change. I do ask one question though, if another guy came into your life right at this moment, just perfect for you, would you immediately act on it or would this ex teacher come to your mind first before you act? I only ask because he shouldn't even be a consideration, but I get the feeling you would consider a "what if" with this teacher first. That's why I think it's best to leave him be, especially since it's obvious you don't like his wife. Being a friend to someone you have feelings for while disliking his wife will only drive a wedge between them.

Not to mention the various posts in other forum subjects about this very topic. It is very concerning, obsessive even. The main thing here is this. He's not with you, he's with her. There was never a "you two". He was just a friend. He probably contacted you after so long hoping that maybe you'd realize he wasn't interested in you that way. Only as a friend. Honestly, I think that was a mistake on his part... your last post almost sounds like you expect him to start dating you any day now as soon as he realizes he made a mistake with his fiance. It was one e-mail...

I'd say ring at her door. If you're intentions are what you say they are, there really shouldn't be any problem if her boyfriend answers the door right? A friendship shouldn't be kept in the dark just because it might upset a boyfriend or girlfriend. To do so... well, that almost sounds a lot like cheating, doesn't it?

If you cannot do this to your boyfriend comes to your mind more than "what's the harm?" you know what you have to do. Seriously though, this new guy doesn't sound so nice... He sleeps with an impared woman who he KNOWS is in a committed relationship and is now pressing her to have an affair with him..... Quality guy there.... Almost like the guy who will put a roofy in a woman's drink IMHO. Honestly, he sounds like a sleeze, what will happen if you do take him up on the offer then change your mind? Somehow I get the feeling he'd tell your boyfriend. The very fact that he's pressuring you into an affair says to me that he likes things his own way. Personally I wouldn't even want to see him again after he put your relationship with your boyfriend in the trouble it is now.

Like the others, this statement kind of raised an eyebrow. Personally I think your sister found her husband DESPITE this rule instead of it, rules like that are sort of how players live if you know what I mean. They always have something on the side. I know I would never ask a woman to marry me who couldn't at least commit to me. Heck, it wouldn't even get close to a proposal if I couldn't get a commitment. Dating multiple people is fine, don't get me wrong. But when you find someone special, you commit to them if they'll commit to you. Then you stick with it. You don't go around "looking for something better". Especially if whoever that "someone better" is knows you're in a committed relationship. Just means that they have no problem with looking for "someone better" when you're with them. Know what I mean?

Have you ever fought with this new man? Taken care of him while he was sick? Had him do the same for you? Had money problems with him? Of course not. It's new and it's a fantasy. He SEEMS so much better because you haven't yet experienced the negative side of a relationship with him.. You've only had the candy sweet portion. OF COURSE he's going to seem like the better choice. You and your boyfriend are past the honeymoon phase (which is where you are with this new guy), so naturally he seems less desirable than this new guy. In about 3 years... this new guy will seem just like your current boyfriend too if you choose him. And choose you should. Personally, I'd stick with the guy who's been faithful to you as opposed to the guy who doesn't seem to have much problem with cheating since he's helping you with your infidelity. (Quality guy BTW /sarcasm off) This new guys ACTIONS are speaking out to you. He's trying to steal you away from your boyfriend, what happens when he gets bored with you? Cut off contact with this guy completely and try to rekindle what you've already damaged with your current boyfriend. It's not too late to save things if you want too. You absolutely must cut off contact with this man though. And be honest with your current BF about what has been going on... Why make things worse by continuing the lying? Let him make his own choice about you.

I've read a few of the topics you started on this MissDashwood... I honestly think you should let him go. Not hearing back from him is your answer, he wants NC. Throughout all of your posts I felt the same vibe from you. You want this man, despite what you might say otherwise. Here is what I think. He got married, he's starting a life with his new wife. He has this woman who he considers a friend who keeps on trying to contact him. He knows she likes him and out of respect for his wife and his marriage he has decided to either A) stop all contact with you forever or B) stop contact with you until your feelings for him fade. Contacting him all the time will only serve to push him away. Friendships shouldn't have to be pushed or forced on a person. I'd just let it go. Treat it like a bad breakup, which is exactly how you already are treating it. (Heck, you even posted about this in the infedility forum) Take his silence as a sign that he doesn't want to talk to you anymore and move on I'm sorry to be so blunt... but that's just the way it is.

Ah, I figured as much. I hope you realize that by leaving that bit of information out about yourself, the responses you got probably weren't the ones you normally would have gotten Regardless, out of sight out of mind. I truly do believe you think he has the most honorable intentions. You've already hear of 2 people here who can say from previous experience that he does not, just based on his actions alone. Never believe words after all, actions will let you know everytime. I wish you the best. Go kiss your husband, cuddle with him, ask him for a massage. Re-kindle your marriage. Everyone gets crushes, even if they're married, it's not a crime. Taking it PAST a crush, which you had started to do however.... that's playing with fire and only you and your marriage will get burned if you don't cut this man out of your life completely. On a side note... you were getting over the crush.... He came sniffing around again and you're right back where you were before. I'm sorry, but this man is nothing to have a crush over. He's married calling another married woman.... He's a sleeze.

That's how I see it too. She's looking to keep you as a backup if things go south with the new guy.

I've read your previous posts. This isn't the first time you've gotten like this with men who aren't your husband it would seem. This is the first time you've said you were married however, so the advice you got to "keep it going" and what not was probably not what you needed to hear. Have you considered marriage counselling with your husband? Getting giddy about new men in your life seems to be an ongoing problem. Just a thought. Regardless, you made a commitment and an vow to your husband to stay faithful to him and him alone? How would you feel if you knew he was flirting and talking with other women who wanted him for sex behind your back? Concentrate on your husband.

That's the danger with guys like this.. Does he know you're married? If so.. what kind of a sleeze ball calls a married woman like that? Real quality there... You only saw a VERY small portion of who he is during your sessions, and he probably did pick up that you were attracted to him. You're getting to see another part right now. He's sniffing around for a roll in the hay, IE he wants to USE you for sex. At least that's the way I read what you wrote. There really is no reason for him to contact you otherwise... Friends? um.. maybe friends who f#$@. A relationship? No, you're married... that leaves only.... sex Cut off all contact with this man. He's the male version of a homewrecker... Is talking to him worth the risk of losing your marriage? Is a roll in the hay with a fantasy worth your marriage. Remember all it would be is a fantasy, no real life issues, no problems, just sex. Because it's pretty obvious that's all he wants. Make the right choice.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If man thinks it's OK for him to look at porn, check out women and go to strippers... then he shouldn't have a problem with his significant other doing the same. It's a double standard otherwise...

If you're not on birth control be very careful. Condoms aren't 100% effective. Glad I could help.