PrincessLinzay

Ick Ick Ick! I'm so sorry that you have been subjected to this. Her behavior is completely unacceptable, regardless of whether or not she feels "unsatisfied emotionally". I too have a hard time with the idea of divorce, but under the circumstances, I think you would be completely justified if you decided to take that route. She has admitted that she doesn't know if it will happen again (another way of saying that it will happen again). You absolutely do not deserve to be treated this way. I like that saying, "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me". I think it aptly describes the situation. As long as you continue to take her back after this, she will have the impression that she can do whatever she wants and you will always be there. Don't be her security blanket, find someone more worthy of your love. Hang in there. (( hugs ))

That is absolutely ridiculous! You don't have to obey anyone! Say it with me........."I am not a puppy!" In all seriousness though, to me, he sounds very manipulative. It seems like he used your argument to justify his wanting to spend time with his friends alone. "Come back in an hour or two?" What the heck was that? It translates to "shoo, I want to hang out with my friends". (Again....."I am not a puppy!") I know it's easy to classify a volatile, unhealthy relationship as "passionate", but there is such a thing as passion with communication. If you're asking if you should stay or go, I say go and good riddance! It certainly doesn't sound like you're happy in this relationship, and why stay with someone who has pretty much said "we have no future?" Good Luck~!

Unfortunately, although it sounds like she's willing to speak with you, it does not sound like she's interested in a reconciliation. She's treating you like a "normal" person (whatever that means), but has expressly said that you are not friends. It sounds like she's trying to keep you at a distance so that you don't get false hope. I think that continuing to speak to her will be emotionally draining, especially as you are hoping to get her back. You'll overanalyze everything and be disappointed if things don't work out the way you had hoped. I know it's difficult, but if your motives continue to be "getting back together", I think it would probably be easiest to sever contact. Of course, that's just my opinion. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Wow & Ouch! Im so sorry you had to go through this hun. ((hugs)) I can definitely see why you would feel angry and hurt. He took the cowards way out. I think that after all you two had been through, the least he could have done was tell you to your face that it was over. I know that right now you are in pain and harboring hopes of a reconciliation. Honestly though, he's done you a favor by telling you that he doesn't want to get back together. It's a harsh thing to say, but in the end it should help you move on and find someone more worthy. Hang in there. ((hugs again))

Yeah, I would definitely have to say that it sounds a tad shady. I can see why you would be upset. He's obviously been hanging out with this girl at the very least. It would probably be a good idea to speak with him about it. I wouldn't start accusing him just yet, find out what he has to say first. Let him know that you don't think those messages are appropriate for someone who's in a committed relationship.

I am of the opinion that it was deliberate. Might seem silly, I know, but I am an avid texter and it's not that easy to make a mistake, really. The only time I ever made a mistake was when replying to a message. Obviously as you haven't talked to her in several months, that's not likely. My ex did the same thing to me once. Sent me a weird text where it seemed it was obviously not meant for me, then when I said "huh"?, started talking to me and apologized because it was the "wrong #". He later admitted that he wanted to talk to me and didn't know what to do. I know it sounds strange, but I still think she did it on purpose. In order for her to have sent it to the wrong person, she would have had to go into her contacts, get the person, not notice that it said your name in the To: field and then send. That's just my opinion of course. I suppose that there's a one in a million chance that she "Woops", texted her ex.....

Yeah, this guy sounds like a receipe for heartache. He has a girlfriend, and knowing that he's talking to you like this while having one should be a big red flag to you. I would ignore him and find someone more worthy

I voted for you Sbrew21! Can I just say.......This girl needs to eat something....yikes! link removed

Hernj62~ I can understand where you're coming from, however, I don't think that it's healthy to center your universe around your boyfriend/relationship. Everyone needs time to pursue their own interests and spend time with friends. If this is ALL he wants to do, then it might be cause for concern, but it sounds like you two are still spending time together as well. I think it's pretty normal in the initial stages of a relationship to spend almost every waking moment together, but this does dwindle a bit as the relationship progresses. You each have other things that need to get done, and also spend time with friends, at work, school, et cetera. Too much of a good thing can be bad. As for your school..... Don't pass up an opportunity to get an education at a school that you would in all liklihood have a great time at! You admittedly said that he would never pass up the opportunity, so you shouldn't either. If the relationship is meant to last, it will make it through your move as well.

I agree with the above posters. Unfortunately, there is no "gray" area in a breakup. You're either broken up or you aren't. You don't have to "try" to break up with someone. If you want to check out of the relationship, you do it. I would let them know that until they're completely finished with their relationship, it's best if you don't see each other. It will save a lot of heartache in the end.

Jonah~ First off, I'll begin by saying that I actually applaud the fact that you can aknowledge these feelings, even though many people won't agree with you. I think that we have all had feelings that we wish we didn't. That being said...... I am also of the opinion that you should speak with your girlfriend about your feelings. A difficult subject to broach, absolutely, but she may be more receptive to your feelings than you think. At the very least, I am sure she will appreciate that you are being honest with her from the jump, and not having to come clean after the fact. No one can predict what her response will be, we can only make speculations, there's only one way to truly find out..... From my personal experience, and what I have garnered from the experiences of other women, I think the biggest obstacle you are going to face with this is not the actual physical act you are contemplating, but the emotional side of it. I know that for myself, with someone I love, sex is directly associated with those warm and fuzzy emotions. It's extremely difficult to separate the two in your mind where cheating is concerned. I personally could not handle the thought of my partner forming any type of emotional connection with another woman. My imagination would be my worst enemy. I can say with a fair amount of certainty that "cheating" will never be looked at as a positive thing (epecially by the person being cheated on). Cheating also almost always gets discovered by the other person. They may just have a "gut feeling", but sometimes that is enough to destroy a once happy relationship. Is that worth the risk? I say talking with her is your best bet.... Good Luck.

Ick! Some people I will never understand. I also find their behavior to be completely out of line and inappropriate and can completely understand your anger and embarrassment. I like RayKay's suggestion. Take the high road, and if anyone mentions anything to you just say something along the lines of "How sweet of them to make ME the center of their universe!" It's pretty sad when people have to resort to petty insults to make themselves feel better. At least you know that you're being the bigger person in this, and most people will look at them spouting their ridiculousness and laugh. It just makes them look jealous and insecure. ((hugs)) Hang in there, sooner or later they will have to get a life.

In my experience, most people kiss with their eyes closed, if for no other reason than that most people don't exactly look their best at that close of range. Lol. I don't think it's anything to freak out about, just something she is probably not used to.

I don't think there really is an age, per se, in which men tend to mature at a faster rate. It really depends on the man in question. Each individual will mature at a different rate. An 18 year old can be very mature, and likewise, a 24 year old can be not so mature. I think that in the general sense there is the common conception that women mature more quickly than men, although this may or may not be true. It depends a lot on life circumstances and where you're at in life. I've found it to be true that age tends to play a much larger role in relationships when young vs in your 20's and onward. A 3 or 4 year age gap when you're 18 or younger is usually problematic at some point, whereas, when in your 20's and up, it doesn't seem to present the same. For example, my fiance is 28 and I am 22, and we get along very well and are on the same level of maturity, however, had I been 16 and he 22, probably not so much. Instead of concentrating on looking for a man in a specific age bracket, I would let their actions and personality decide for you. You may be pleasantly surprised by some of the guys your own age.

Glad to hear things are back on track for you nikkers!