littlelaxer

i really just think i am confused. ive wanted this for sooo long. and now i have a bf. yes we have had recent problems and that is not gonna make me break up with him...... i guess really deep down i wonder if the ex is honest. im not going to do anything. i really care about the guy im dating now but it just messes me up that the ex said all this. wouldnt it to you? im just gonna continue with the new bf see what happens with him tryin to not let the ex mess things up. if the ex really wants something he can try and see what happens....right?

My ex and i broke up over a year and a half ago. its been nothing but a crazy mess with since. through out the whole time he never would completely go away. his reasons for breakin up were that he was to young...didnt know what he wanted. so i let him go. i never called him he called me. i told him often to leave me a lone but somehting would come up and we would get in contact. a couple months ago he told me he still loved me but still didnt know what he wanted completely. so i wrote him a note telling him i cared about him very much but i couldnt take it anymore and that he is to leave me alone. he got mad and he did. during this i have had a new bf for about 3 months now. last night was my 21st bday and the first time i have ever drank. i thought it was a good idea to call him. he was out drinkin too. we talked for awhile i rememeber everything. he was like i want to see u i said no. i got off the phone and it was back and forth all night. today i woke up and i had a voicemail from him saying for me to call him back. i called him and he told me he had been on the phoen all morning talkin about me to his friends on what he should do.... as it turns out he says he wants me back. he misses me and he made a mistake he says. and hes leaving the ball in my court to decide what i want. i told him i dont know i have a bf. i said i just dont know. i said its not going to take 1 phone call its gonna take mroe then that. how do i know ur not going to change ur mind in a week or so. he said im gonna keep trying. he called me later this afternoon too tellin me what he was doing. i dont know what to think really. its been such a long time and i do care about him i just dont know

thank you for ur responces. like i said i love him and im scared that he will NEVER come around. i try to move on i do.... i guess deep down im hoping that after awhile if im strong and follow what i say im gonna do that he realizes. i know him and i know what he tells me is the truth on his feelings for me but he just wont grow up and i cant stay around for that. but i dont know whats gonna happen. i know hes probably expecting me to text him and say i didnt mean it or what ever but im not. Would gettin a note like that affect you?? could just be wishful thinking.

My ex and i have been apart for over a year. It was his decision due to the face that he was immature and wanted to be single. Through out the whole break up i do not call him he calls me and he comes to my work to visit me and does the texting. Through out the whole break up i have told him to leave me alone but evenually we talk again and we are fine. But i cant take it anymore we dont get anywhere, In this past sept he told me that he still loves me, cares for me, misses me and thinks of me everydya and knows he regrets breakin up. BUT he just doesnt want a relationship. I tell him im not waiting. A couple weeks ago he calls and asks to borrow my book for a class. i let him. The a weekend after that he invites me over for a party but i dont answer the phone. He calls the next day and asks where i was. I lied and said i was out on a date and he was all like oh?!? and i didnt talk about it. i really was at home workin on school work. This past weekend he and i talk on the phone. He is in atlantic city with friends but talks to me anyways. He says that when i get my book back that he wrote something in it. He wouldnt tell me what it was. Then he asks about my "man" i said things are good and he thinsk he is my bf. I am talkin to a guy but not dating but the ex thinks we are dating This past monday the ex calls and asks for help for a paper. I tell himi i will help him but im gonna need the book so of course i look for it. I take the book home and he textes me the page #. He wrote "my name, i will always love you. p.s. i never ment to hurt u." he textes me sayin for me not to get upset i ask him why did he say that. he said he wanted to tell me for awhile. but for me not to jump to conculsions. i text him and say after this paper i never want to talk or see u again. all u do is play games and im sick of it. Find someother girl u can jerk around cause im done. He calls and gets all upset. He starts cryin sayin how he loves me and misses everyhting about me. How he wants me to marry him ni the future. How he wants to be with me but at the same time he cant cuase hes not ready. I didnt knwo what to say. we ended ok. that night i call him and leave him a vmail saying that i am done. I dont want to talk to him anymore or see him. and i will leave his book at his house in the morning. i wrote a short letter explaining my side. I wanted to leave it nice but at the same time firm on my deciion. I told him that i care about him very much and that he was the best but at the same time worst thing to happen in my life so far. I explain why he was the bst and then i said the worst because u wont let me go i explained how i cant take this anymore. That im done and i have been for awhile. I said that if one day if he knows what he wants then to call me. And maybe if that day ever comes he better hope im still around He text me earlier today saying "fine if thas what u want. i fu*kin quit" i think he said that before he read the letter cuase he doesnt go home till after work. I havent heard from him since. Did i do the right thing??? i love himand care for him but i cant do this anymore. i guess maybe he needs to see life without me and i have to be tough. i just need feedback for my situation if i did the right thing and if my letter seemd good....i hope it affected him....

so i posted this before link removed well today the ex called me....he left a message and i decided to call him later. we talked for a little bit. he told me he drove past my house last thrusday or friday he "cant remmeber" i asked him why and he said to see if i was around. he hasnt been to my house in over a year............who does this?? i live in a neighborhood, not like on a busy road either

lets say ur hanging out with a group of friends, and u start to notice one of ur friends more.....the one guy seems to repeat many of things u say like kinda teasin you u think thats a good sign? and he gives u starrs and all this???

so i havent talked to the ex since this all has occurred.....should i just ignore him now?? i really think its going to be a matter of him loosing me to realize what he had you think?/

I went to the ex's last night. I really don't know what to say about it, and I don't know what kind of responces I am expecting to hear from this site but I really just needed to vent. Im going to try and sum it up as much as I can. I got there and it was not weird in anyway. Pretty much the whole night he kept telling me comments on how good I smelled and that I was pretty and all that. Eventually he would find ways to touch me somehow. He ventured in his room and so did his roommate cause his roommate was tryin to take somehtin of his to wear that night. I was sittin on the bed next to my ex and he layed next to me and started playin with my hair and everything. He even found ways to hug me As I was getting ready to leave we started like play arguing about something. And we bickered back and forth about it for a good while and it was almost like he was stallin. Eventually I was like well im leavin (none of this was like mean fighting just play) and im never comin back ever. He got upset and started going into little boy mode. And he was saying how he was upset that I said that. I said this is why we don't get along we argue to much. Not being serious at all about this. Then he all of a sudden comes out and says "its all my fault" I said what are u talking about he said its all my fault I messed up with us. I said oook totally not expectin that. I said well what are u tryin to accomplish with this conversation? He said I don't know. Im not sure, maybe nothing at all. I said it wasn't toally ur fault I had to grow up too and change and so did u. and he asked how I had to change and I told him. He eventually says he cant stand hearing people say they see me out with other guys. And that everyday hes reminded of how he made a mistake. And that he cant just stop carring about me and loving me. But its not the right time, hes not ready for a long term relationship. He told me he sees me in his future and I said the same. So pretty much I have come to the conculsion that I am in the same spot a before. Its been a YEAR since we have broken up and he tells me all this. How can he say this to me? He said he doenst want me to wait for him and I said I haven't and im not. He told me his worst fear is for me to meet someone else. Its been a YEAR and we are in the same spot. That he needs to grow up and be alone and be with the guys and party. What am I suppose to do? I want to not think about so much but I just cant help not too. Im don't wish we didn't have this conversation because I have been wondering this for a long time………..but what now???? Theres so much more that happened and what was said but im not tryin to make this sooo long. But the whole night was almost like he wanted to be together. I was not expectin all this to be said and I know hes being serious there is no doubt in my mind…..but im left feelin alone again….

so the ex called me earlier tonight but i took my time in callin him back. the conversation went well he asked about my day and what i was doing. then he asked if i was going to come over tomorrow. i said i would he also said he would call me tomorrow i guess to make sure i was commin. so im kind of nervous about going over there. i dont know what to think about all this

I guess right now i should just see what he does from here. i really dont wnat to think that he has the possiblilty of commin back if he really isnt. i suppose i should play hard to get. it just seems so odd to have his friend come in and say that. i just really dont want to be just friends with him if thats what he wants.....

i think it is the best thing right now that u just keep ur distance from him. you cant be friends with the guy u are in love with and they are not having the same feelings at the time. i really think no contact will work best for you. not only will it give u a break from him but it will give u a chance to maybe grow and meet new people. yes it is SOOO hard to do NC but im tellin u after about two weeks of being strict with it, its not that bad and ur every move does not revovle with thoughts of them. it will get better and maybe now he will feel like he is actually loosing u and maybe it will make him start to think. best of luck to u, and just come on here and vent when ever u need to the folks on here are great at helping during rough times!

its about a year now since my ex bf and i have broken up. the thing is that he never fully goes away. he always pops up here and there and thats fine i really dont care to much about the occational stuff but heres what has happened lately. for the past two weeks he has been contactin me just by textes seein how i was doing and such. this past thrusday he called me and we had a good conversation. he asked me to come over and hang out help his friend move in and stuff and that he would take me out to dinner. i was like maybe if u call. he said ok ill call. well then he texted me friday askin me to come to a party at his house. but i lied and said i was already at another party(even though i was in bed alread ) he later calls me that night but i didnt answer. the next day he asked where i was and stuff. sat night i was working and one of his good friends comes in my work. he came in lookin for me cause he told me. we had small talk and he brought up my ex saying "*** said the two of ur conversations are getting longer" andi was like yyyeah i guess so not actin like i care. and he was like he told me about ur converstaion and everything i said yeah maybe we will hang out i dont know. he said thats really good. the thing is that it almost seemed like he came in to bring up my ex and see what i would say. his friend is kind of an older guy that he would always tlak to about stuff, like our relationship when we were together and etc. i have talked to this friend of his many times through out this year of our break up and he has never brought my ex up like this. it is just weird how he said our coversations our gettin longer.....any thoughts?

i say throw it away.....ii mean if she wanted any of that stuff im sure she would of gotten it by now. i recently maybe a few weeks ago threw away all exbf stuff, i even had stuff from past past bfs. I had this crap all stuffed in the back of my closet, and for what? to open them and think back to the happier times, and then be reminded about how they crushed my heart? nah i took pictures ripped them, threw out stuffed animals, i shreded the journal that i wrote in everday after my more recent exbf and i broke up......i really didnt want to read that ever again and im even about to sell some jewerly that i have gotten from exbfs. might as well make some sort of profit. i have to tell u it made me feel better to throw that stuff away.

i agree with the other posters with just seeing if ur stickin around. sometimes i think maybe its cause they still care and maybe still have feelings because i feel if the person broke up with u they are done with you. you only contact someone cause u care or like them. If the ex wanted nothing to do wtih you they would disappear. if u are not contacting them and they are contacting you then i think maybe some feelsing are there still.... maybe they like to check up to see what ur doing, if ur with anyone......i guess basically to see if ur still on the sidelines for whenever they want you.

the thing is if he was just callin to get some I am the last person on the face of the earth to call and try and get that from cause he knows he wouldnt get anything from me. Also i didnt go last night, but today he called me again telling me there is another party and he really wants me to come out and hes never goin to talk to me again if i dont come out and his friend was going to be really upset with me. i was like sorry i have plans. Two days in a row with this party stuff. i think its good that i dont go over cause it looks like im not stuck on him........im movin on. Its just like why does he want me to go so much? you dont ask ur ex gf to hang out that much? most people go to parties to meet new folks and what not why does he want the ex around?