Yarmer

Thank you all for replying. Lot's to think about. She is going to Colorado with one of her best friends and I have the toddler for 4 days. I think this is going to be great for her and me as well.

Quick synopsis Wife and I were dating 6 months before she got pregnant. We got married 5 months later and had our baby..9 months later. We've been married about 2.5 years now and are just starting to have problems. When we first met, things were on fire. We are both shy people but really thrived together. We were very intimate. I couldn't keep her off me. Even when she was pregnant, she loved sex even though it got awkward at times. (bump in the way) At my old job, I would leave super early in morning and return home super late and I was exhausted. I felt good though. I was busting my ass for my family and providing. Sex was still good. BUT I wasn't helping a ton with the baby, but she was fine with it. She knew I was out working and she worked too. We have tons of help from family but helping with childcare when we are working. She started a size business to make extra money, because she hated asking me for money. We never really fought and she would follow my lead. I was confident and knew what I was doing was for the good of the family. about 6 months ago I lost my job....and my confidence and her respect and the sex I was working but not making the money I was and it stressed our relationship out. She worked harder on her side business and I was with our child more (definitely a blessing in disguise) Nevertheless, I was still the breadwinnner. My anxiety was awful. Could barely drive my car and be left alone. It was crippling me and I know for a fact had an effect on her. Lots of overthinking and micromanaging finances. I would ask her questions like, "are you going to be able to buy groceries, with the amount of free spending your doing." would send us to to a whirlwind. Arguing back and forth. Lots of insults. I realized I needed to get on my horse and start making *** happen. I started my own business and it was slow at first but now im in a good position. I started working out everyday. Huge positive effect on my self worth and confidence and anxiety. Really started on a positive trend with being a more spiritual positive person..but I talk to my wife and she still views me as a nobody. I help with the kiddo 10x more and I make plenty of money. Sex is a chore and Im rejected constantly. I flirt in kitchen. Kiss her neck and walk away. It just seems like shes stuck in this negative cycle. She doubts our relationship and has been vocal about having trust issues with me. (I would watch porn and she thought of it as cheating) We have trouble communicating in a healthy way. Our communication usually ends in an argument. She doesn't listen to my suggestions anymore and she has gotten into this habit of telling me what to do. We went to counseling and I realized I needed to take charge more with our child and she just doubted me as trying to fix anything and would negative cycle to counselor. The counselor would tell her stop! STOP! and talk to her almost like putting her in her place. It was wild. I felt good after and knew what I needed to improve on. Just seemed like it didnt do anything for her.. I understand I was in a rut but I finally feel like I am on the other side, and now Im trying to get my pants back in a healthy way. I want a healthy happy, sex going relationship again. Any advice?