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sksws

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  • Birthday 06/30/1961

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  1. sksws

    Scars

    Yes I've kinda been there. I am 43 now but when I was a younger man my scars embarrassed me greatly. No, not embarrassment, I was truly ashamed of them. One injury was to a foot. I'd caught an infection in it when I was about 13 that completely ate away bone, cartilage, nerves and of course all the skin on both sides of the ankle. I had to have extensive skin grafts to it, with the skin being taken from my thigh and my butt. The bone was destroyed so the docs set the foot in a fixed posistion, meaning it couldnt move anymore. This caused my calf muscle to completely atrophy, giving me different sized legs and a limp. I'd been a talented athlete and I was very vain about my looks. I couldn't play ball for school anymore and was convinced I was ugly, ruined, marked for life, all kinds of negative things. I couldnt shake the feelings. They had a great effect on my teens and twenties. You can think my scars were hidden by my jeans and shoes but I truly felt that they made me forever unattractive to the girls. My whole teenage years, until age 27 really, I wouldnt go swimming because I didnt want them to see. I turned away offers of sex with pretty women because I didnt want them to see my legs. Thanks to the love and words of a few good women, I now know that it didnt matter that much to most girls. Perhaps the best line one told me is "It's only a problem if you let it be". They have also told me, "I hardly noticed it at first and then I forgot about it", "It never mattered to me", "you hardly notice it". I was making it more of a problem than it was. I learned that most women are more worried about any little imperfection of their own than they are about scars on men. I've also been told that some chicks dig scars. (Recall that Prussian-German Officers were considered nothing without a battle scar, preferably on their face. You can verify this with old movies or even by watching re-runs of old "Hogans Heroes" episodes). It is we men who are so hung up on our partners looks, dont transfer that onto yourself. I feel your pain. Mainly from experience, but also from counseling, I want to try to say that smart, fine, decent women are not going to be bothered by your facial scar. She is more likely looking at your personality and your "heart". I've little doubt that you are a deep thinking, feeling generous young man. This is what the truly decent, loving girls will see. The girls who cant see past a scar are shallow my friend. I'm not going to discount your feelings. I know how painful this was for me. But I'll bet you are going to be okay. sksws
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