cindydm

If you get a spiritual person then that may be even better. Oh....and sex is not just sex. Sharing your body with another person has consequences and thereforeeeeeee is best saved for meaningful relationships preferably marriage. My boyfriend and I are not having sex as of now (even thought we use to) and it is not bothering me terribly because I love him. We spend time together without the sex.

Yes, You definitely have to do the romancing again. Also remember people grow and needs change so you will sometimes need to ask each other what type of things your spouse would like for you two to do together. Marriage has its ups and downs but it is all worth it. If you like you could also talk to a counselor to help you two.......but reading books and getting some ideas to spice things up are good sources as well. I have a magazine here that tells how to spice up a relationship after years. The things I told you have some of the things the magazine said. Just keep the communication lines strong and respect each others needs, celebrate your love and you will see the difference. You two can even go away for the weekend and have fun. You will feel the spark again!!! Like the other poster said.....the love is not gone!!!!!!!!

Hi, After years of marriage that can happen but there is hope because it can be fixed. Learn about each others needs, wants, and desires. Talk to eachother........and focus on doing things together. Reading together, exercise together, shower together.....bath each other, massage each other. Develop a new closeness. Get childish sometimes and play board games, video games, look up entertainment places. Play miniture golf. Make out in the car!!!! Have a picnic on the living room floor. Play with the kids together. Have family game night. Share thoughts together....share dreams.....watch go ice skating together.......go to the movies and tell her not to wear under pants.....then make out in the car later. Make love in the rain for once if you have not done so. Do anything to spice up your marriage from activities together to exploring eachother. If you are religious go to church together. Concentrate on new things you can do together. Also, remember when you first met......recreate your first date. Talk....enjoy eachother. Bring home a bouquet of flowers not consisting of only roses to add SPICE. Focus on that friendship and marriage you too share and with the love you share make it feel like new love. Be surprising sometimes. Talk to your wife and tell her you want to show her how much you love her and just do it!! Spiritual, Emotional, and Physical Connection.......focus on you two!!!!!!!

I am a woman. I would say be yourself but do not seem too deperate and do not seem uninterested. You have a life of your own so enjoy the that time yet enjoy the time with the person you are dating as well. I would say dating once a week is sufficient but skip a week or two sometimes so that you do not feel like you see too much of her. You do not have to be a jerk by being rude but do not be too nice that she feels overwhelmed by your kindness. But you can do some interesting things to spark her attention. I am in no way suggesting the things listed below....they could get you slapped!!!!! Or no other date....from the woman. When I first met my boyfriend he was polite and nice then we went to dinner and he took his thumb and pushed his food on his fork and smiled. My eyes were like what in the world did he do?? And I smiled. For some reason I liked this but only because enen though my boyfriend has the status that men desire, with the brains, and he showed me with that behavior that he is very unique and unlike some guys who have the body, house, car, and cash. He was not too much into himself....and to me that is exciting. Another date we had was at my house. We watched a movie and he got naughty and poured water down my shirt so I would have to change clothes. If I did not really like him at this point he would have been slapped or put out. At this point he knew me well enough that I was not going to slap him for trying to be naughty. We had other dates but when my birthday came around he treated me again and at this point I knew he had class....apart from the little interesting things he did. So.....just be yourself.......but not wimpy. Be available sometimes.......but do not neglect your family, friends or things you like to do. And oh.....my boyfriend does do the not be too available thing to me sometimes......but then again......I do it to him too!!!! And when we hang out with eachother we enjoy each other. Also, when we make love........it is really AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get to have the time to enjoy my life with my family and friends and I get my time with him. That is not all.....I would really like to marry him oneday. Then we could be together more. So.......the time apart can make the heart grow fonder as long as something is being built.

I sent you an email.........all broken hearts heal in time. Read the email.....I sent you words of wisdom........basically a life long novel of wisdom. After you read the letter I emailed you maybe you would like to talk how you feel out with one of your buddies you hang out with. Venting is always helpful. I hope you feel better. You will find someone better.

just relax......when you are ready you will know. but first before you get to that point ask him why he wants to do it. a good man will be patient with you. does he want to do it just to do it or to express his feelings for you? as long as he loves you and takes his time with you.......and you both are relaxed it will be fine. ofcourse you know first time sex can be a bit uncomfortable. that is why you should save it for someone you really love. i don't know how old you are.......but it is best to wait until you have sorted your feelings out for eachother. also.....when you first make love don't forget birth control.......also discuss consequences of sex like babies.......if he is not responsible enough to care for a child should you become pregnant........then you are not ready for sex. having sex means accepting everything that comes with it......whether it be babies, marriage or risking stds. that is why sex is for loving relatinships. i made a big mistake before not discussing this with an ex of mine before we had sex and got pregnant on our first time having sex.......and he did not want me to have the baby and kept telling me to get an abortion. so.........before having sex you must discuss readiness and consequences......good or bad.

The outside if you rub the penis up and down the outside of the inner part.....you know the pink part.....that is the spot. I don't let my boyfriend do that to me because when he does that I end up submitting to anything and we ended up not using protection because neither of us could control ourselves. That was scarey!!!!!

There is nothing wrong with being a nice guy as long as you are assertive. There is a difference between being nice and standing you ground........and being nice and letting people treat you like a doormat. I would marry a nice guy and give him as many kids as he wanted as long as he was nice, respectful and loved me. I would do anything I could for him. How you treat a person really counts. I am a nice person. So, I understand. I use to get walked on then I stood my ground and saw the difference.

kantore, You should not have told her to not call you and that you need time. Hearing that and being a woman it sounds to a woman like you said, " I don't want to talk to you." Or "I want to see someon else." To understand a woman you have to put yourself in her shoes and try to feel what she feels....which is hard. The only way you would possibly get her back is to earn her back.....which would be hard since she felt like you threw her away. You will have to give her flowers and beg with sincerity. When I say flowers I mean not just those roses that men give but a bouquet that shows you have class. You will have to court her again and start all on a new foot with a fresh start. You will have to look at what you did wrong and appoligize. You will have to be make her feel you are worth her accepting you again. You have to make her feel you will not just get up and leave again. You must comfort her. No woman wants a man who says I want you then leaves and comes back then leaves and comes back then leaves then comes back then leaves then comes back over and over again. If you do it repeatedly she will feel you are wasting her time. She will then find a man who appreachates her the way she feels she should be. I am talking from experience a few guys have done this to me.......my ex who i use to live with did this. He was not sure what he wanted and by time he realized he wanted me again I was taken. A little wisdom. You could have found a job close to her. When you love someone include them in your decisions. When you love someone you do not just mark them out your life. Think of other people and how they would feel when making decisions. How would you have felt if she did that to you? Did you love each other the same? Or did she love you more? Did she feel the relationship was more serious than you? It appears so. You could have possibly have been married to her by now. Why loose a good thing when you could keep it forever? Now when you step to her you will have to prove you are serious. You have to tell that woman and SHOW her how much you truly love her......otherwise if you do not get her to feel, see, and believe you it won't work. You can send flowers, write letters, but you must apologize first (you could do it in person or write a letter then go see her) Let her know how much she really means to you. Earn her back. Being her first everything does not mean anything if you do not show you truly love her and stand by her. Stop yo-yoing her because that is not fair. If you want her....be ready for her. Do not give up on the first try but be sensible with your efforts. Take her out to dinner and talk.....or have a romantic dinner at your place. Take her on a walk and talk and tell her how you feel......tell her how things have not been the same without her in your life. Play a love song......sing a love song outside her window. Do whatever it takes to show sincerity.......without being over bearing. Send her a video tape of you telling her how you feel and that you want her. What ever you do it will have to show her that you are sincere. I hope you will be with her again. Let me know how it turns out. email removed

NewTeen, You are only 13. 13 year olds are at the age of hormones going haywire. You not gay and visiting gay porn sites does not mean you are gay. Guys always like to wrestle. Guys at the age of 13 may not always be interested in girls as of yet. Acting weird.......can be a variety of reasons.....unsureness........changes.....anything. 13 year olds are constantly having mixed emotions. Sometimes kids think they are gay because they were molested. Sometimes kids think they are gay because they see pornography involving gay sex and it excites them. And getting excited looking at anykind of pornography would excite someone. But you and your friends are too young to be looking at pornography. Pornography influences people to act out sexual feelings and can make those feelings out of control.....sometimes it can influence someone to act out those feelings in unhealthy ways by initiating unwanted sexual touching. If you stop looking at it you would have more self control. This is an age where your mental, emotional, and physical growth are all changing to prepare you to be a man. It is a very hard time and some kids think grown ups do not understand but they do. Your friend is not gay, you are not gay, you are just a teen trying to figure out who you are. Which is not uncommon but none of the other teens would probably admit to it. Some adults would not admit to it but I will because I know what pornography can do. I also know what peer pressure can do when friends tell you that they are having sex etc. But you know......I found out that some kids were lying.....and the ones who were not lying were not emotionally ready for sex. What I ask you to consider is talking to a trusted confidential counselor. In my school we had a curriculum that explained that the age of 13 is an emotionally changing time. It is a time you can think you are in love and not be. (which I experienced) You may think you are gay and not be(I had these same questions.....but I wonder if I would not have questioned this if I had I not been a 13 year old watching pornography). In 6th, 7th, and 8th grade you have a tough time with emotions.......some people have this tough time until they are 16 or even older but it depends on a persons hormones and maturity development. Sex is seen in the media, pornography, etc. But NewTeen......sex is something special. I will tell you.....I know the difference. I had sex young and regret it. Sex is beautiful when you save it for a loving relationship and do not do sex just to be doing it....but only have sex as an act of love for another person. But saving sex for when you are mature enough to handle the consequences that come with sex and your emotions is the way things are suppose to be. Having sex could mean, STDs, unplanned pregnacies, getting your emotions hurt......etc. Saving sex for someone you love and respect and who loves and respects you is rewarding. Saving sex for someone who trusts you and you trusts is rewarding. Sexually intimacy is an open door to a person. Emotions are not always able to be hid during sexual intimacy. People use to think my brother was gay but he is not. He did not date until he was around 30. He did not lose his virginity until he was around 30 but it was not because he did not like women. Life is a learning process and sometimes it takes a lot of learning before you get to a certain point. Sometimes it takes several mistakes to learn wisdom. Also, first time sex experiences sometimes do not go right. Emotions play a part on sexual enjoyment especially for females. Feelings that you are doing something wrong play a part on that sometimes. That is why it is best to wait for a loving relationship. Also, feelings of guilt from masterbation plays a part on teens. Yes, it is normal for a teen to masterbate sometimes. None of the other teens would admit it but lots teens masterbate......especially boys......lots of boys masterbate. I found this response on a website for you: It is very normal for teenagers (and adults) to masturbate; almost all teenage males do, and many females. It just isn't something many kids will talk about or admit to. There is no medical harm to masturbation: hair falling out, going insane, or becoming blind are just old myths to scare people from what is a normal part of learning about your body and your sexuality. Also I found this elsewhere: Children aged 11 to 12 can identify with others. They understand that they can have several feelings about something at the same time. Their bodies are changing, and many preteens are thinking about sex, even if they aren’t talking about it. Sexual curiosity and attraction to other kids of the same sex is a normal part of development. Just because your child has these feelings doesn’t mean he or she is gay. When you are going through puberty you will naturally have the above feelings. Some kids go through puberty in their late teens. So......your feelings are natural. Also, I remember being your age and wondering the same about me. You will sort out your emotions as you continue to mature.

Guest, Being a virgin and 30 years old is not bad. Making love is something that comes natural. I know someone who was around 30 when that person lost his virginity. It is not a big deal. It is better to save it for someone you truly care about. From my experience sex just does not feel right unless there is a bond. The difference was that sex with someone you have a loving bond with is like an explosion of passion that feels like a delicious melting sensation mixed with a burst of emotions but you have to take your time. Take your time to get to know a person first but before you do that.......take time to know you. Find out what you like to do. Focus on what makes you feel good and happy. Focus on making you a better person. Once you have you together you will feel more confident and it will show. Confidence is very attractive. You say you are shy......read a book from the library about becoming more assertive. Shyness can be attractive but it can also be detrimental in certain situations where you need to be assertive for example on the job. It can sometimes keep you from doing things that you should. I am talking from experience. The man in my life told me he use to be overweight. He has a great body(much better than mine). He eats right and exercises everyday. As for me I just went on a diet but before that ate just whatever. My diet now just consists of trying to eat right and not starving myself. My reason for dieting are health reasons. I my weight is probably 140. As a result I have a large looking chest and a well rounded rear end. An ideal weight for me is around 115-125 or maybe even 130 would be considered healthy. I was a size 5 while breastfeeding my son. I weighed 150 when he was born. So basically I went from a size 12 to a 5. Over the years I picked up weight. Now I am about 140. My sweetheart told me weight loss is a commitment........and it is. You have to be committed to it. What should drive you is that having the ideal body fat is for your health. Overall, the thing to be concerned about is you, your well being, being a better person inside.......then find a mate......let someone see the inner you for how special you are. Learn new hobbies, you may meet a woman at the gym, library, etc. Look in the park district activity guide and pick up a hobby. Also, exercising at those facilities I think can sometimes be free or very inexpensive. Write you goals out and post them up somewhere you see it everyday. If you are like me you eat when you are bored.......that is a no no. Take dancing lessons.......do anything fun that will help you develop new things to do and keep you active. Walk instead of taking the elevator. Vacuum instead of using a maid service if you have one. Decorate your home or apartment. Cook instead of buying dinners. Take fries and chips out of your diet. Make 1 portion no larger than your fist. So one serving of corn is the size of your fist, a serving of meat is the size of your fist, etc........Eat plenty of veggies and fruits. If you are hungry in between meals grab some veggies or fruit. This is what I do.......and you know what........I can bake goodies.......so you know I miss the goodies......so.....occasionally I allow my self some goodies in moderation or substitute it with a low fat goody. I love pudding........so I have a low fat pudding. I love pies so I eat a piece of fruit. I cut down on the breads because that is what created my big, big, big behind anyway. It is kind of hard for me to completely skip the pasta because I have a health condition that requires some starches to absorb the stomach acid.....so I regulate it. Get a low fat cook book and it will help you out. My aunt uses a food delivery service called Seattle Sutton. They give you well balanced meals at appropriate portions.......but watching what you eat on your own is cheaper. Just remember......eat breakfast so you do not starve and end up overeating later.