P-Funk

I've been there buddy, and here's what I say. I have to give you two possible concepts here. One is if you want the girl back, and the other is if you don't. If you don't want the girl back, then you should let your friend date her if that's what he/she wants. Can you imagine someone told you that you couldn't date her when you first got together? You would have never known the last 3 years, and that's definitely not fair, for her or for your friend. Hopefully the friend discusses this whole deal with you first and is cool about it. The other possibility is that you still want her back. If that's the case, the first thing you have to figure out is why you want her back. Do you want her back because someone else is showing interest, because you can't have her, or because she's worth it. You have to truly think hard on this one, because by lying to yourself, you're only going to hurt yourself. If you want her back for the right reasons, then by all means fight for her with everything you have. If you want her back for any other reason besides the right one, than I think it would be selfish of you to stand in the way of her getting together with anyone, let alone someone you consider a friend and also want to see happy. When I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years a couple of months ago, I used to say that I just want to see her happy. Truthfully, it took me two months to actually mean it. We are now both back in the dating scene, and I truly am happy for her when she meets a nice guy which she recently has. It's not always easy, but if you ever loved her, you will find it in your heart to want only good things for her. She's not so happy when I date, but that's another story for another time. Well, hope I was somewhat helpful. P-Funk

She doesn't deserve what you give her, so take it away. I just went through a breakup after 6 years and there are 2 questions I asked myself to finally get over all the bs break up with her and be happy with my life again. These two questions relate to everyone and will work on everyone. 1) Did he/she treat you the way you deserved to be treated? 2) If a friend was in the same situation as you are right now, telling you the same story, what advice would you give him/her? You have to answer these questions honestly. You already know the answers to them, just accept them and move on. I believe it really is that simple. 6 year relationship for me, and 3 months after making the decision to break up, I'm happier than I've been in a long time. Sure there are hard times, sure some days feel impossible to get through, but as time goes on, they get fewer and fewer, and you become happier and happier. After answering the above two questions, it'a imperative that you sit down and figure out what you did wrong in the relationship too. As perfect as you may feel you acted, if you are honest with yourself, you will see all the mistakes you made. Reflect on those mistakes and don't make the same ones with the next girlfriend. Don't worry, evrything will be fine in time, just relax, let go and live your life. P-Funk "analyzed, thought it over too much criticize myself way too much i will utilize the energy i have left to say goodbye to you and i will survive. " - Hayden

Give her time. You can talk to her as much now, just don't mention you guys for a little while. With girls like her, you have to show them that you changed. She seems to have her head on straight and doesn't want to jump back into anything that may not be good. Just be yourself, and if you really have changed, things will probably work out. Good luck.

Tell her the truth. Lying to her won't help you or her or anyone else. What you are doing is called tough love, and it is a common thing to happen in a realtionship where one has an alcohol problem. After you tell her the truth, she will probably get worse, but she has to. She has to want to change for herself and in order to do that, they usually have to hit rock bottom. They have to see how horrible their life really is and make an effort to change it for themselves, because they are not happy. If she was breaking up with you, would you not want to know the real reason? That's my advice, and good luck

I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 6 years last night. I love her more than anything, but it just wasn't working out. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and already I miss her. I am already starting to doubt the reasons why I did it, though I thought about them for months. I know for sure I did the right thing, but it doesn't make it any easier. Seeing her hurt and crying last night almost killed me. Watching her pack up most of her stuff as fast as she could was the most horrible thing I've ever had to watch. I think I can handle not being with her, but I can't stand her being hurt. I've tried to protect her from any pain in the years we were together, and now I am the cause of her pain. I am used to cheering her up, and making her feel great, and having a good time, and making her cry out of happiness, not sadness, not like last night. I have to be strong however or I'll just make it worse for everyone. Sorry for wasting your time, just needed to get this off my chest.