Saddened1607306444

To my ex, If you ever log on to this site with my username, let it be known...... Thank you for just ruining the perfect image I once had of you. You were everything to me. I loved you. I still do. Let it be known, that no matter how much you hurt me, you know what, truth is, I don't think they'll ever be a day where I won't be thinking of you. I wished we could have been but this is how it ended up being. Let it be known.....that you have the greatest of friends, RK, DW, and CL that were really nice to me, and I appreciate their kindness. Let it be known.....

From reading other people's posts, it all just sounds so familiar. Its just amazing what the same shit happens to all of us. My situation is almost identical to yours. In fact it makes me think that my ex is the one writing this post just as a different gender posing to be male. That would be a possiblity since she has gotten a hold of my password and username on this site when she out right went through my e-mail and snooped around. Anyway, if its not her that is writing this post then its amazing. I never knew how similar or identical someone elses situation could be. Like you, I fell deeply in love with my girlfriend at the time. We were with each other for 3 awesome years. She was totally my partner in crime. We both were deeply attracted to each other the first time we saw each other and were inseparable. As the third year rolls around, a guy from where she works starts to like her. He shows interest in her but since she was with me she plays it safe and thinks nothing of it. Christmas rolls around and they so happen to be secret Santa partners (where they exchange gifts and what not) Anyway to make a long story short they see each other for the brief moment and my girlfriend starts to think he is cute. January rolls around and I go on a trip with my girlfriend and her mom and sister to Maui. During our trip their we get into small arguments here and there. Tension begins to build and by the time we arrive back home we are both so angry with each other. I leave to go back home pissed not speaking to her for days until finally she calls me up only to come to a conclusion that she feels that maybe are relationship has went too long suggesting that we see other people instead. Me, feeling shocked, angry, confused at the whole blasted thing is crushed that she would want such a thing. But anyway, we end up breaking up the first time. For me that was the hardest thing because I loved the girl, gosh dammit! I didn't want to leave her. Ok well while we are broken up she goes out with that guy from her work place, they have a few dates and she calls me up again. She comes crying back to me saying that that guy was so immature (he's only 19) she's 21 and to take her back. Not knowing she was going out with someone else so soon like that refused her. I was shocked, outraged and plainly disgusted! I mean how could she just to this to me! So I end up refusing her the first time. She calls me yet another time in about two weeks begging me to take her back. At this point I have a change in heart, because deep down I wanted her back, so I took her back only to find out that she had slept with him to forget about me prior. Because of this she develops strong feelings for him, yet she wants me in her life. Talk about unfair! Anyway I end up going back to her, breaking it off, going back for about 4 times! My feelings for her were still strong. She keeps hurting me and hurting me and making me more confused each time. So finally after the 4th time we end up breaking up this time really bad. The 4th time I went back to her was because she telling me that her coworker was completely out of the picture. So I wanted to see if we still had a chance to heal together. I was dead wrong. She lied to me and hurt me soo much. She continually gets these text messages from her coworker when I told the guy not to text message or call her because we need time to work things out. So not only does she lie he does too. So in this huge argument I grab her phone and call this guy up (at this point I'm pissed and start swearing at him) I remember exactly what he told me when I called him up that night. He told me "What! She didn't tell you.......she doesn't want to be with you anymore, its not working out" After that I knew she was lying to me all this time. Before going back to her the 4th time she could have just ended it with me before it got ugly. I mean why lie about things? I come to the conclusion that she never loved me and it was just a big waste of time and emotions. I'm still super upset with her and until I can find someones else to replace her stink behind I'll have to cope with my depression and frustration. My advice is just let it go and move on (its super duper tough to do so) but just let it go. Someone better is out there.

Hello all......its been months since I started this string topic and I can finally, without lying to myself, say that I'am ready to move on with my life. From the time I last posted my last message, I have been seeing and going out with my ex. No matter who I saw or dated during the time we were broken off, I could never move on with them. Something was missing........ it was not the same...... I missed my ex. The truth was that I was not over her, inspite she totally leaving me for this new guy. I wanted her back.....no matter how much she hurt me the last time. I always would feel that maybe our relationship will work this time. To make a long story short we went back together, broken up, went back together and broken up. In the last 4 months she broke it off with me 3 times and I'm so stupid for going back to her when she calls me, saying she needs me back when things go sour with her current "thrill". She calls my cell leaving these messages where she cries and pleads that I call her back. Me, feeling sorry for her (but stupid for doing so) calls her up and feelings for her again start. Last night was both a blessing for me and the most horrible experience I've ever had mixed into one. This is the fourth time we have gotten back. The only reason why I decided to try to get back with her this time was because this time the guy she was going out with was not in the picture. She totally breaks it off with him......or so I thought......Anyway last night I find out that he is always text messaging her behind my back, how he loves her and to dump me yet again. All the time I was trying to make it work with us, I would always ask her if she still had feelings for that guy still. She would always tell me that "no" she rather be with me and that she made it clear to him not to call her or text message her again. Little did I know, they were still talking secretly behind my back, and she just totally lied to me. I thought that I knew my girlfriend......but the truth is I really don't. I guess 3 years isn't enough to really "know" that person. I just really feel betrayed, hurt, depressed, frustrated and all of the above. On the other hand, my feelings for her actually changed.........I no longer love her or hate her now.........I just plainly don't care about her...........I can now say that I'm moving on with my life. She's a lying, selfish bytch that will always be unhappy with her relationships no matter how good that person is to her. Also I would like to say that if she continues to think that her mom is infallible and that her words are gold, then I'm afraid that she will always be unsure of herself and confused. Whenever we were having problems she would never try to work it out with me (always hide things from me, until it got out of hand)....instead she would consult her mom or sister, both of whom I think are bad examples and just plain think I'm this bad person (just take a look at their own relationships with men) It's all bad! I'm not going to rush into things, I'm just going to let things happen on its own. I'am sure that I will find that someone that really loves and respects my feelings. That girl is out there somewhere........ Thank you all for your advice and support.

These past few weeks have totally changed my life. I don't know if for the better or worse but it has changed my whole perspective on relationships. From the last post which was about 3 weeks I have gone from heaven to hell to heaven and then to hell again. Since breaking up with my girlfriend in Hawaii that I have just fell so deeply in love with these 3 great years. I would just like to recap on what I have wrote before. In a nutshell this is what happened since the last post. She breaks it off with me the first time and later calls me to get back with her. I agree (I don't know why, but I do). I still had so much feelings still for her. We are together for a short while because after taking me back and things start to get normal again she starts thinking about her coworker that she had sex with while we were broken up, and feelings start to conjour up for him. She tells me yet again that she's confused about us. So she ends up going back with him and leaving me in the dust. Meanwhile I'am again frustrated, angry, depressed, sad, etc. So, I start to go out with just any random girls that I happen to bump into clubs, and the like. I decide to start a relationship with this girl a good friend introduced me to. We go out dating and having fun. A week passes by and I start to think about my ex. This girl that I was with was just not what I had in mind, and the more I tried to forget my ex with her, the more I missed my ex even though she put me through hell. I don't know if anyone ever felt like this before but its a stupid thing to feel. I mean there are times I just wanted to slap my own self for feeling the way I do for my ex. So what happens is I break off this relationship with this girl. Meanwhile again, my ex happens to e-mail me about a two days after I broke it off with the other girl, saying that she's sorry and that she wants to make it work this time around. So stupid stupid me, I again want to give it a try and make it work. So again we meet with each other and this time around more drama. At this point, both of our parents just do not like us, her mom, not fond of me at all anymore, and my parents not so crazy about her either. Plus the fact that she's so close to the mom that she tells her every little thing that we argue about.......stuff thats not necessary to tell her mom. Stuff that will only make it tougher for the mom to think of me as a good person (which i damn well think I am) Anyway to make a long long drawn out story short, this friday 3/8/03, we again break up. We get into this heated argument which sends me swearing at her with reckless abandon because she continues to talk to the guy, even helping him with a job at her sister's work place when the whole purpose of getting back was to fix things with us internally and to heal the relationship. I was soooo mad at her still calling this guy so we ended up breaking up again for the third time. One for calling this guy and second because of our parents not liking each of us. Its a lost cause. I just really wished, hoped, prayed that we could have worked it out. Because although I hate her for what she's done to me, I can't hide the fact that she was special, and that no one can replace her and that I loved her. I hope she is happy. I'am not, and its going to take a lot of patience and God to get me to love again as I loved her. Right now its 1:02 in the morning and I have learned from this experience. No more tears.

Good ***en question? Why is it that nice guys always finish last and that those mother ***ers that treat their women like shit are happy? I mean I consider myself as a nice, down to earth person, and I somehow my ex just doesn't see it. Maybe its just that when you're always the nice guy, its like the girls just keep expecting that from you and take it for granted. And its also like if you can't go beyond the niceness that you're already giving your women she gets bored of you and shit. But when the bad guys treat their women like shit, their women in the back of their mind hope that they change and treat them nice. I don't know about you guys but I'm just so ready to hang up my nice guy image and be one of those mutha phuckahs who slap their bytches up. I don't know what to do? I just don't. I just want a girl that would reciprocate the nice things I do to them and someone I can trust. Thats all I ask nothing more? Am I asking for too much? Where are you Ms?

Its been one hell of a two weeks. I started this message back on Martin Luther King Day when I broke up with my girlfriend (she breaking it off with me and suddenly, mysteriously going out with one of her coworkers) It was hell for me! I'm just following up of what I wrote before. After about three days after we had broke it up, she calls me and wants to get back with me saying that this guy (her coworker) wasn't what she expected him to be after one ***en date to the movies. She saying he was a dork and this and that and that she wants me back. Well me being hurt and confused told her off and said "no" to her. (She followed me around in her car that day, as I stopped to park and told her "no") She cried and cried in front of me and stuffs but left me after I told her to stop following me. Three days later, she calls me again and asks me again to get back with her........this time I accept because in my heart I really wanted to get back with her. This is the most stupid thing I ever did. When I get back with her and stuff I hear from her that she slept with her coworker friend.....not once, not twice but 3 times! She tells me that when I told her "no" the first time (the time where she followed me around in her car) she felt that suicidal and that she needed something to forget about me when she was the one to break it off with me anyway. But anyway needless to say, I'am not with her. She is such a confused person! When she is with me she wants the other guy, when she's not she wants me. She should just go to hell, because I have been there already too many times this week. I would have done anything and everything for her had we been together. I loved her and everything was going good for three years. She just had a change of heart or something. I still don't know whats bothering her and why she is so confused about being with me? Right now, I just don't care! I will never take her back ever. She caused me soooooo much pain, grief, anxiety, sleeploss, weight loss, and I still haven't recovered from depression yet. But as we all go through this we have to keep our heads up high no matter how terrible things are. Better days are in front of us! Thanks for all the replies.

Just got through writing a message to mikey. I feel somewhat comforted by the words of others encouraging me and others to move on. So many good people out there! I truly indeed feel blessed by all of this kind words of advice from people I don't necessarily know but share a common situation. There is this sense of warmth that I seem to get after reading messages of people who reply to me. It is truly helping me cope with my broken relationship. Although this is a tough time for you, especially when someone ups and leaves you for someone else. We must try to move on. If you have the need to cry, punch something (an object not person), grieve, just do it. Do it for about a week and then stop. Its totally not worth to put your health at risk. I know your appetite will not be there for the most part because of depression and stuff, hell, I lost like at least 5 pounds in the last 4-5 days from not eating feeling so depressed, but you need to stop thinking about after a week and go to the gym and exercise or play some B ball, something that requires you to expend energy. You will feel better trust me! You are on the road to recovery, and are making the right choice by not going back to her or calling her for that matter. Even if she calls you in the future to get back, think about it carefully, it wouldn't be wise to give her that chance after you suffered. Peace.

I just joined this site on Martin Luther King Jr. day because why, I, like yourself felt betrayed, frustrated, confused, angry, and more on that exact day! I needed a place or someone to talk to about and get as much advice about my situation. So many on this site are hurt just like you and me man. In fact like you I felt like killing myself, I really felt that way man, seriously and shit! Ok, I was with my girlfriend for 3 going on to 4 years, we were very serious about getting married and stuff, used to talk about it all the time. I mean she often told me how I was God sent, and that she loved me so much and that I was just the perfect guy for her. I felt the same with her. I loved her very very much. I was the one who wrote "losing my girlfriend" on this site. I was totally out of it, and still is very depressed but we have got to snap out of it sometime. We have to just move on man. Its okay to feel this way but cut it out after a week. Its just plain stupid to feel this way. Think of this as a huge battle scar, when you heal from it you will be a much stronger guy and other girls more deserving of you will see it in you. My girlfriend's reason for not being with me anymore was because she feels that she hasn't really been in other relationships yet and that she just needs time to find herself. The ***ed up thing about that is that she still loves me and stuff and wished I would just wait around until she gets this thing out of her system and stuff. I told her that I love her but, you know what, I'm not going to be waiting around. She hurt me hard and I will never go back with her again even if she begs me to take her back in the future. Getting back with her will just bring more pain once something like this comes up again. Just move on brotha! Go to the gym exercise, play a little B-ball with friends, do anything to get your mind off of it. You can do it..............and so can I! Keep your heart up.

Thanks Aaron. Dude you're one strong mutha f__ka! Wish I was strong as you man. I'm trying to get over this day by day man. Still hurting real bad inside, like a dull fork in the heart, but, shit, thats life right? There's so many girls out there in the world for all of us for the taking. We just got to keep our composure after breakups and persevere. Shit, that great girl for each and all of us is right around the corner. In the mean time we just got to hold our heads up high, drink a beer and forget the ugly past. This chapter of the book is over and shit, time to move on to the next. Thanks and good luck yourself.

Its now 4:05pm in Hawaii, and I just came back from saying my last goodbyes to my girlfriend of 3 years and her parents with which i grew attached through the years. I feel like total crap and feel like just busting out and crying. I loved her so much and would do anything.........anything to make her happy even at the expense of my own family (mom, pops, and bro). We always had are little arguments and such before, but we both loved each other so much so, that these little arguments never really interfered with our relationship. We were best friends, sex life was good, and both are families got along fine. My gf, well.....i guess now i can call her my ex, tells me that one of her coworkers at work thinks she cute. Being that she's had only 2 boyfriends all her life (and she's 21, i'm 23) she feels that she wants to get to know other guys and stuff, while i'm left in the dust. I've had only one more gf than she had bfs and yet she doesn't want to go with life not having known how other guys are. Its soooo unfair though, nothing was wrong with our relationship but she feels that she wants to see other people (most common shit girls say). We both ended up crying today, me being also very upset, confused, sad, and frustrated. Why do girls do this to guys? I don't know what else to say but I feel so sorry for others that are in the same boat that love their gfs but get totally disrespected.