Cyndane

My family & friends. My health. The privilege of doing my job. The chance to make a difference in life.

A few friends have suggested trying not to be so judgemental about myself and forgiving myrself for the mistakes I've made (looking at them as a learning experience rather than how I screwed everything up). This helps at times to become more positive and confident. But to be honest, I don't know how to love myself or accept things either.

I agree - believing in and loving yourself is very important and once you learn to do that, the way you see things changes and that probably causes all the good/positive things to follow. I try to love myself but often I just don't know how to (if that makes any sense at all). And I have no idea why that is the case for me.

Has anyone ever wanted the world or life to just stop so you could sort things out in your head? My life feels very disorientated atm, the days go by but I'm not making any progress. I'm not sure if I like my job or if I'm even good at my job. I'm not sure about what makes me happy in life or what drives me to keep on living. There are even times when I don't know who I am. And all I want is just some "time out" to figure things out...but the days go by and I'm getting tired and not coping very well. Any advice is much appreciated. Thanks.

Dear Julianna, I think you misunderstand me. Everything you have written is valid and like I said, I agree with you! So no, I don't imagine that any religion will ask me to do anything else other than "love other people, provide for the poor, tell the truth, keep from selfishness and destructive behaviour". Let me put a hypothetical before you. I do the "deeds" of kindness and goodness etc. - I respect my parents, I give to charity, I forgive, I do what is "right" most of the time. I go to church every Sunday but I don't believe that Jesus is G_d as man. Yet I sing the songs that praise him as redeemer and saviour. I pray using the sign of the cross yet I don't believe that G_d is a trinity - He is one entity and not divisble. I feel like G_d must think I'm a hypocrite and a liar because I continue to celebrate Easter and Good Friday despite my lack of believe in the principles that underlie these festivals. What is it that you would advice me to do now? Should I continue in the religion I was brought up in or should I "roam" around to find one that might agree with me? I'm not here to debate the validity of religion, the wisdom of changing faiths or the ideals of faith itself. I started this thread to hear from others who like me have reached such a crossroads in life. Like you said, finding faith is worthwhile - that I already have. To follow a religion in expression of that faith? Some people regard changing beliefs as a time waster. To others like myself, it is a journey one must take because it speaks as part of our identity. My sincere apologies if I have offended anyone as it was not my purpose to do so.

Juliana, I agree with you - that all religion have the same purpose. However, each faith/religion has a different way of relating to G_d and people through its ideology and obligations. Should I then continue to go to church and utter words which conceptualise G_d in a way I don't believe in? Even if I have faith in the same G_d as Judaism or Islam? For example, some Christian sects believe that unless you're a Christian, you cannot be "saved" and are condemned to a life in hell. I surely don't believe that but should I continue to call myself "Christian" if I don't?

I think most of us can relate to your situation. Maybe as you say he is always shy around you and doesn't know how to show/express his interest in you (even if he may have been interested). As for the email, I tend not to reply to bulk or group sent email unless its something important so don't feel rejected solely because of that. Its hard when you had feelings for someone over a long period of time as it causes you to build up an image of them in your mind which might/might not be true. I think an infatuation is unhealthy and you should move on if that's the case. Good luck PS: Its just turn 2007 over here in Aust!! Hope you have a great one too!

You must have at least some idea of why. Perhaps it is too difficult at this moment for you to understand or accept, which is perfectly understandable. Would knowing why help you achieve some form of closure and let go? Or do you want to know why so you can figure out a way of getting the relationship back?

Cheers to you mate on finding life and love Just remember life's achievements/aspirations don't have to be done in sequence - the journey is always far more amazing than anything you can ever imagine (my 2 cents anyway).

Hi everyone I'm at a point in life where my wonderings in the "spiritual" desert has led me to realise I don't believe in the faith I was raised in (Christianity). Of course that is not to say I don't believe in G_d because I do. I just find that the teachings/beliefs of another religion seem to resonate better with me (or is it my soul?). As I'm sure there are many who have experienced this, it would be great if you could share your story with me! Did you eventually convert to the religion? How did your family and friends react? How have you handled living with a new faith? Has there been people who now view you differently because of it?

Sorry to hear the news about your dad Don't think it'll hurt to see a psychologist. It might help you work through your emotions in dealing with this news and as a result help you in being there for your dad (in terms of giving him the love, support and understanding he'll need). Please let us know how it's all going.

I agree with Layword. Perhaps you need to step back and instead of focussing on the pain of relationships past and loneliness to get a new and more positive perspective on life. Don't let the "loneliness" bring you down - use this time by yourself to figure out your identity, what you want out of life, your goals etc. It can be a great period of self discovery. I am sure you are a beautiful, intelligent and talented person with lots to offer someone. Think of all the things you can learn from those relationships past and try avoiding making the same mistakes. In the interim, take comfort in your friends and family. And there's always someone here willing to listen and speak to you All the best.

I would feel incredibly dishonest if I married someone I was not "in love" with. Like I was deceiving them (and probably myself too) in some way. And if I was 45, I would also feel a little selfish. Just my 2 cents worth.

Experiencing it right now very intimately. I'm doing the distance thing atm and hope it will help change the feelings I have for him. I'm feeling more melancholy and sad than anything (not that sharp, stabbing type of pain). I think about all the times he made me smile and I know that no matter what, just seeing him would make me smile again. In that bittersweet kind of way.

I'm so sad to hear about this. My sincere condolences to her family and friends, they will be in my prayers.