After nearly 15 years together (I was 18 when we met in college), 9 years of marriage and at least 6 years of making excuses for why I was so unhappy, I'm finally ready to put an end to it. My problem is that, while I know my husband hasn't been happy with me or our marriage, I also know that he'd be perfectly happy to remain miserable as long as it didn't disrupt his routine. We've had many lengthy discussions about our various issues over the years, the last one was a year and a half ago, during which I asked a series of questions like "what about our relationship is good for you?" "What is it about our relationship that keeps you here?" "What is there about me that you actually like?"......things like that. His response? "I don't know. I never really thought about it." So, here I am, having analyzed myself and my marriage into the ground. I have tons of reasons, emotional and rational, for why it needs to end, but I fear that it's going to come as a huge shock to him. I don't even know HOW to bring it up in conversation ("uhhhh thanks for washing the dishes, by the way, I want a divorce"). Do I just say it, wait for him to respond and then give him all of my reasons? Or do I share my analysis and then tell him I want out? I could really use some advice from someone who's been there, and I'd really like to hear a man's perspective on this as well. Thanks in advance for the help!
