Mariana345

O____o did I posted it twice??? *go to check OMG I thought I said the same thing without noticing XD I think it'll be helpful until the end of times. People tend to lose themselves while in a relationship... and then it become resentment...

This not only give me hope but also encourage me to keep moving forward, because yes, I did neglected MYSELF and the person I always wanted to become, so I have to work on that instead regreting and mourning for a lost relationship. I should pursue myself not anyone else... Cope and Hope, I'll keep your words close to my heart, they really help me in those down moments

Ok, I have to take this out my chest XD Me and my now ex bf were together in highschool. We were friends for one year (but he said he liked me since the first day we met) and then (after two other friends of ours wanted to date with me) we started as gf and bf. Well, he was toooooo clingy!!! I couldn't take it and like one or two weeks later I broke up with him (I was a kid!!) then we went to a holiday and saw him with this former friend of mine (who actually dated my ex ex... that is why she was my "former friend" ¬¬) and I became jealous and asking him back, he said yes and dated like a month and a half. Then another holiday and we didn't see each other (we were really kids back then...) and I assumed it was over and when we started school again one of our friends ask me if we were together, I said no and that is how he found out... So after that he left school for two years, I finished highschool and went to university and we didn't talk like for, let me see... 3 or 4 years. Then one day out of the blue he sent me a IM request and I accepted. After like two months we started to chat and that went for like a year. Since our HS break up we didn't date anyone else, but later I found out that even though he wanted to get back with me he didn't want to make a move and the one of his friends (who actually is his crazy ex girlfriend who still stalks me!!!) asked him out, and he said he dated her to try to forget about me. So they dated for 5 months (I didn't knew the whole time, and we were in contact by IM) and he couldn't develop feelings for her and broke up. After that we talked more frequently and I wanted to take one year from college to go to England to improve my english. So after that I asked him out to a movie to talk to him to apologize for my behaviour in HS (but I was really a brat!!! ¬¬) and told him my plans of going abroad and all... both of our feelings resurfaced. After that I asked him out again for a coffee to tell him I like him... but in spanish the word we use for "like" is the same we use for "care", and since love is such a strong word I didn't use it and he got confused if I was saying I liked him or cared about him but never asked(aaaaah!!!! Still bugs me that!!!) So he changed the subject and I felt rejected so... after like one week a guy from my work asked me out and I agreed (I was leaving anyway so never mind having a fling back then XD). My now ex found out and sent me an email (really angry) about me and him and the whole like/care issue and me leaving... we talked by IM many times and we acknowledged our feelings for each other and all, but since I was leaving (not to england but to another state to work and have money for the bigger trip... too complicated, right?) we spent the last week in town together (and we even had our "first time", and that day he said for the first time he loved me) and we started our almost 5 year relationship that just finished about 3 months ago (I don't want to keep counting time...) The first months we were LDR and after that a lot of issues with jealousy, crazy ex girlfriends, trust issues, friends problems, project problems... we didn't have a calmly relationship XD until some months ago when we feel out in rut and fights and he left me for someone else... So it did happened to me but don't know if is going to happen again since the circumstances are totally different and the hurting is much more deeper. So, we'll see. BTW I didn't go to England or somewhere else because he couldn't stand the LDR again (our first 4 months) and after the BU it seemed we were in the same place than 5 years before... But now I have learned and next February I'm going to China for 2 years, so it makes any kind of RC hard. It's been a little more than 3 months, he has a new girl, I don't know if they are official or still together but he never contacted me, so they may be finishing the honeymoon period... and since I leave in 5 months I don't know what the chances are for us... Maybe I just met someone else and marry over there XD