I am a 30+ high school teacher who has known about her sexual feelings towards women for some time. After the dissolution of my first relationship i felt a freedom i had never experienced before. When i was younger i felt trapped by what i now have learned is my sexuality.
To cut a very long story short, i was content for about a year on my own, having the odd one night stand, until i first set eyes on cazzie. She was a student at the school where i used to teach. I tried to get rid of the feelings but i just couln't fight them. I never believed it was possible that she could feel the same way too. After a hell of a lot of persuasion from her we entered a relationship together and were deeply in love. Although every ethical practice under the sun was against this, my heart told me it was right. We moved to Leeds together when she went to University to be free from these constraints. To get to the point the realtionship was ended by her a year ago and she started to see men. we decided she would stay in the house which made it doubly difficult for me to swallow when she got pregnant and didn't know who the father was. She fled to her home town and in a stupid act i decided to start another relationship with a pupil. Although i care deeply for her the feelings are nothing like what i had for Cazzie. Now i can't get out of this mess I'm in as I'm afraid in rage my new girlfriend will tell someone about our relationship. I don't even know if i want to finish it. I suppose I'm waiting for Cazzie and if I can't have her my new gir friend will just 'do'.
PLEASE HELP I'm so ashamed of the mess I'm in.
