NjoyStick

It was someone new! ^_^

Hello everybody, It's been over 8 years since i last posted about my problems, at this moment i'm married for 4 years now and we have a son that will turn 4 in a few months. I work as a nurse and published my first book last summer, life is great! Keep at it and the future will be bright! With love, Njoy

Hey my dearest ENA bro's and female bro's! It's been about 7,5 months since i got dumped and i started looking at it from her perspective, for her our relationship was at a dead end and she tried to let me go as gentle as she could and for her the process of getting over me was already going on for a while so she dumped me and was pretty much over me shortly after that and her new bf saw that and went after her only a few days after it happened so she took that chance to start something new and i'm not angry anymore, we even emailed a couple of times last week and she's still happy so if she's happy then my job is done. Even though her new bf is the biggest arrogant and stubborn douche in the world she should do what she thinks is best. I went back to school last month and in 4 years i'll be a murse (male nurse) and i'm planning to work in Australia when i'm done with school so my life is going pretty good, and ofcourse the fact that my class has 16 girls and me =P and they adore me somehow haha =P Believe me my dearest ENA's, even though it's really hard when a relationship ends... The sun will shine again for you, i'm living proof. Now that you are single you will find someone who will be even better then the old one, believe me =D And if it seems that you and the ex will come back together in the future you will know that you 2 weren't ready for each other yet until then! So heal, keep yourself busy with anything that you enjoy and try to look at a better future! With love, Njoy

Well... In 2 days it will be 7 months since i got dumped for someone else, been a hell of a ride, lot's of tears, anger and sadness... Good thing i have a wonderful family and the most awesome friends who supported me through it all, it took me 3 months after the break-up until i realized i needed to do NC and it was quiet for almost 4 months of NC until my ex decided to text me to tell me she saw the message of: a penny for your thoughts on her bank account a while ago that i gave her for her bday and to ask me how i was doing. I responded to the text in a way that she knows my life is going perfect without her and she can't respond to it and she did not respond to it (yet). So now i'm @ almost 7 months post dumped and i'm doing awesome!

It's been like 100 days since NC started and something happened... Something i thought would never happen... My ex, miss "i'm happy with my new bf and i don't need you" texted me today... After about 100 days she suddenly contacts me... Last month was her bday and i put a deposit of a penny on her bank account with the discription: a penny for your thoughts... And today she texted me saying that she saw the deposit with the message a while ago and now she wants to know how i'm doing... And i've send her a message back telling her i'm doing awesome and my life is going great! I didn't ask her how she was doing cause i don't want to know... I have no idea why she wants to contact me all of a sudden... Ah well, i'll see where this is going. I think after 100 days of NC that it's ok to have it broken, i'm not sad anymore! And the hope is long gone so i don't really care =D

Hey bro's and female bro's! Alot of you are still wandering around in the energy of the ex, it's normal to do that but we should focus on what we need to do, and that's healing. The biggest killer that's holding you back from healing is a little thing called hope. As long as you have just the slightest hope of your ex returning you can't and won't heal. The only way to heal is to kill the hope you are carrying with you. What's the use in hoping? It will only make you feel worse as long as it won't happen, and believe me... As hard as it is... It won't happen. Let me tell you a story about my grandpa's sister. She lost her husband due to cancer, she knew he was gone and he wouldn't come back... She never got over it, she never gave herself the chance to get over the fact she lost her husband forever... What happened after her loss was terrible... She started drinking heavy, stopped taking care of herself and it went downhill from there... She locked herself in her house and didn't even take a moment to go to the bathroom... They found her in her bed, dead and laying around in her own **** and piss... She died of a broken heart... This is what happens in the worst case if you can't get over someone... She never lost hope for her husband but lost hope in life... Hope is what is holding you back, hope keeps telling you he or she will change his or her mind and will come back to you... The truth is, they made up their mind and we disagree with it. It's a hard pill to swallow but we all have to do it... It's one of many lessons of life, please... Don't end up like my mom's aunt, don't end up misserable and still heart broken... Some people are not worth your tears and sorrow... They need to learn from what they choose to do with their lives, you can't help them with that. Leave your ex be, as long as you are sad and depressed you can't do anything, not for them but certainly not for yourself. Kill the hope you still have for them, they don't belong in your life anymore. You know it and they know it. Somewhere out there is a person that's perfect for you in more ways then your ex will ever be... Maybe you should build up a new hope that has nothing to do with the past but only holds the love and succes for your future. Don't forgetthat you are an amazing person capable of giving so much love and care, the ex never saw that an maybe they will see it in the future but you can deal with that crap once it comes and once it comes you are healed, over it and have a new love in your life... It's never good to live in the past to long, as for the future... It could be anything you want it to be.

For people who are new to this topic! You are hurt, probaly depressed... You feel like ****, we know what you are going through, you can vent all of your anger and depression with us here in this topic. Before you start NC you really have to do these things first! - delete your ex from facebook and block them. - delete their number from your phone and also all their messages and momento's. - collect all of the stuff you got from them (letters, stuffed animals, juwelery, photo's and more), put it in a box and put it somewhere in your house you won't go much like the attic or a basement. - let your family and close friends know that it's over and tell them you don't want to hear about your ex unless you want to talk about it so you won't get reminded. - get out of the house and get a new haircut, new clothing and a tan or something, make yourself new, are you overweight? Then lose it like i did, i lost 70 pounds after i got dumped, it makes you feel so ****ing awesome. - gather your friends and do the things you love to do and try to make new memories, if you went to the movies with your ex then go with your friends and make a new memory from that experience, try to make new memories from experiences you did with your ex, it feels great to be somewhere that doesn't remind you of your ex that much anymore, believe me. - don't be scared to date and love again, you are an awesome person and there are alot of people out there (100x better then your ex) that want to love you and never leave you! The mighty NjoyStick has spoken again!

Don't worry leftme, you can only break NC if you actually talk to her, if she talks to you and you don't respond back then you are still in NC, seeing a pic of your ex on facebook only makes your heart go *boing* but it doesn't break the NC!

It's totally normal to start thinking even more about the ex when in NC, the first period of NC is like that but after a while like in my situation (over 3 months of NC) you think alot less about them, my ex even started to disgust me after a while, the things she has done and said the moment she dumped me... But even though she did alot to hurt me the most hurtful way possible in my eyes... I forgive her for what she did... I have to forgive her so i can live on and if some of you can't get to the point to forgive your ex then the hurting will last even longer, forgive, they are only human and make mistakes... Maybe it was not a mistake to be dumped, it's hard and painful but they gave you the time and space to find the one that truly belongs to you, think about that my friends =) The mighty NjoyStick has spoken... Again!

Well... I guess i'm at about 3 months right now of NC! Started school again yesterday and i got 17 people in my class, me, 2 dudes i now already hang out with and 14 girls haha xD These next few years of school are going to be awesome! I'm the oldest of the class with 24 and the youngest is 16 and the rest is between that ofcourse =P I hope that i can say that i'm a male nurse in about 4 years! Already got lot's of experence cause i was a medic in the Dutch army for about 5 years! Life is getting alot better, i don't think about my ex anymore, it's time to move on and accept things the way they are. It's never good to live in the past too long!

You said it Streetbob! Atleast 6 months is minimum! Karianne, don't respond, let him feel his own mistakes, if you respond it will make him feel better and that gives him back the power! He said sorry to you so the power is in your hands, don't giive him that satisfaction!

Staying in NC is the best way to go, i'm at day 85 right now and it's getting better and easier by the day. The NC is a win/win situation like i said before. If your ex get's sick of you keeping it at NC they might go crazy and want you back, even though you should never take someone back in a short period so that's considered a win. And if you keep NC and you get over your ex and you probaly don't even want him or her back then you can enjoy life again and that's a huge win! If you are meant to be with that person then you will meet up later on in life when you are both ready for each other. And like i said, maybe your ex disgusts you when you are fully healed cause they did and say alot of bad things in most cases that i read here. Heal and getting over it is the only way to go =)

Don't worry Brickheart, it's only been 6 weeks for you, when i was at 6 weeks i had the same things as you, dreaming about my ex, hoping to get her back, thinking i won't ever find anyone as good as my ex and stuff like that! They key for you right now is to stay in NC (that's where i went wrong) and before you know it you'll be rid of the thoughts! I stayed in contact with my selfish ex for 3 months after the break up and started NC after that... I wish i had started NC from the day she dumped me! The feelings you have right now are the feelings i still had after about 4/5 months so be glad you get them now instead of later on like me. You are doing a wonderful job, really! Keep in NC until you are fully healed, and remember that your ex can't handle you and you are way too good for him ok? The thoughts of him will become less and less as the NC progresses, i know cause i'm at almost 3 months NC!

Ummm lemme think, day 84 now i guess! Feeling great, i even send her a simple birthday greet and she responded quite happy to it so i kept it that way. I secretly gave her a symbolic bday present, i've send 1 cent to her account with the description: a penny for your thoughts... That was funny to do =P Had a great talk with my mom 2day and she told me that people like my ex will never find happiness. And that's true, my ex is one of those people who will start a sentence with "I", following it with "me" and ending it with "myself". Selfish as **** =P Atleast her mom supports me at it's fullest, she even wishes me more happiness then her own daughter and she hopes i will never be hurt that bad again... Yup, she knows how bad her own daughter is haha! Anyway people, be true to yourself, this is about you, you and ofcourse you! And for the people who are still hoping to get the ex back, move on and get over it, that's the only way to get someone back and if you want a good shot at a new and good relationshp with an ex then it won't do any good to try again within a short time. Exes that get back together happens pretty often but only after years of exploring themselves so they realise that they really do fit together! So please stop hoping to get your ex back within a year after the break-up, there's like a 1% chance it will happen and when that 1% happens it will fall apart again within a few months so try your best to heal so you can fight back with 100% health =D

For my bro's and... Umm... Female bro's who are having a hard time! link removed