Jump to content

Lambert

Platinum Member
  • Posts

    5,592
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    26

Lambert last won the day on December 28 2023

Lambert had the most liked content!

1 Follower

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Lambert's Achievements

Grand Master

Grand Master (14/14)

  • Reacting Well Rare
  • Dedicated Rare
  • Very Popular Rare
  • First Post
  • Collaborator

Recent Badges

4k

Reputation

3

Community Answers

  1. Aww. no. There was nothing you could have done "right" with this guy. I was like you. I'd keep walking on egg shells or quiet myself to keep the peace... no. that's not love. that's not life. It's not enough to just survive, to keep the peace. You deserve to thrive, love and celebrate through life. Reject the idea that getting away from this dud is a loss. It's a win! YOU WIN In my case, there were good times, at times but as time went on, the good times were few and far between. That's what I remember. How glad I am to be free. Hang in there, girlfriend. You can get through this, save yourself and come out the other side- BETTER! STRONGER! HAPPIER! I feel this so strongly, I wish i could like my own post lol
  2. This is the part you need to work on. It's messed up that you're beating yourself up over this dynamic with your mom. Family dynamics are tough. We get into these roles and resentment can set in. I have gone through that myself. It's hard work and I work on it everyday to remind myself, I can't change them, but I can change me. I can say no. I can have boundaries. I can decide my family member is nuts and they don't handle things the way I do. Work on yourself to improve your own self image. you don't need your mom's approval. and I say that in kindness with the knowledge it's not easy and it won't happen over night. As adults we all realize at some point our parents are flawed, just like all of us. You're not perfect and you don't have to be. You're dying for mom's approval, she's dying for the gf's. You see how unnecessary her acts are, transfer that to your view of yourself.
  3. Youre completely jealous that you have to share your family and your brother's partner is treated like family. Think about that. What do you think that means/says about you? You created the dynamic where you are contributing 1000%. you says she's done nothing. but the truth is, that's what family is. You were born. that's all you did to be in this family. It's not like a job you have to qualify for. It is normal that a daughter and a daughter in law (or serious partner that lives in) to be treated similarly. of course you and your mom have different relationship than the gf and your mom have. but your not a little girl. You should be working toward building your own life. and then when you have a partner, they would be treated as kindly. Isn't that what you want?
  4. His parents are gaslighting you. I have been in your shoes- dealing with a bad temper, over the top rage and all that abuse. I whole heartedly take responsibility for allowing this to happen, for not dumping him the very first time and all the times after that I put up with it. And yes, some people did not see it. Did not understand it. They looked for a reason and blame that was anything but what it was... I was with a person that has no other way to deal with negative emotions than to express anger and rage, blame others, act like a child to get their way My advice is, you have to put all your energy into getting away from this person. Be strong for yourself! you have to choose you. Of course you reacted badly back to him. But that's all water under the bridge. You can heal from this but you can't heal with him or for him. You have to choose you.
  5. yes, and LDRs are great for cheaters, liars, users...
  6. Trust and believing another person is not about having proof. Almost a year together.... 4 months in he cheats... 4 months break... now 4 month's later another incident... sounds like a crappy 12 months. dump this guy. date local.
  7. Any time we get rejected for any reason, it can makes us feel bad and question ourselves. Even when the person is obviously a nut. Anyone can reject another person for any reason, whether we think it's justified or not. So I would look at this as "hey, we are simply not compatible" and be kind to yourself. You have a lot to offer and this guy doesn't get to define you. Flip the script and be glad you dodged a bullet. You do not value the same things, so you would not mesh happily ever after. Chin up!
  8. Hi @MrNobody1111 I have actually thought this and have said but rately... Go watch America Ferraro in the Barbie movie. She has a whole speech about the bs women are told from day one about every possible thing. so it's probably her criticism of her self not being perfect. There. I just explained women. lol. JK. did you think she talked to much?
  9. You're welcome. Don't give people the power to judge you. They have no right. What's the old saying every Saint has a past? IDK. Lol. Wishing you and baby health!
  10. Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it, too. Don't put up with his $heet.
  11. Hi @Rita_S1996 I say congratulations! Its not how you wanted it, but you want the baby. The dad likes kids. You had a lot of fun making her or him 😉 I think people can be quick to judge and all... but be a good mom, and that's what they'll remember. It's shocking at first, but once the baby comes, it's a blessing. The good people around you will more than welcome the fun of a cute little baby❤️
  12. Well isn't this convenient for her? You probably know that a marriage is between two people and what they agree is acceptable. Her stance that she isn't doing anything wrong and therefore doesn't care what you think, is a single person approach to life. A married person considers their spouse, as they consider themselves. Now of course you're separate people and that is important but that's more about separate but together. For me, the deal-breaker would be the part I quoted. If my spouse doesn't consider how their actions impact me, what do I need them for? I can do lonely and dejected on my own.
  13. this is your own double standard that supports your own rationalization of why you were cheated on.
  14. I would not bring up the dad or any opinions or judgments on his behavior. You are not responsible for the actions of your father. You don't need to defend or justify his behavior. I would also be careful to not promote the idea or ideas that your dad is some great guy to you and or she is lucky to be alive. As I gathered from your post, this is a delicate situation. If she asks you questions about your father or brings him up, let her talk and just listen. I think it would be OK to respond that you are not sure what to say as you are excited to have a sister and that's what you are focusing on.
×
×
  • Create New...