Lambert

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. My cousin committed suicide two years ago almost to the day. It has hurt all of us so much. The guilt, concern and sadness knowing they chose to do this is something I know I will never get over. Even as I write to you, I am tearing up and I'm getting chills. to face the cruel hard truth that he chose this and he is no longer with us, is something that truly haunts me and I just carry that with me. They didn't end the pain. They passed the pain on to all of us who knew them. I so much wish he would have had not done this. Please seek help. I would give anything to have the chance to help my cuz.

Your rose colored glasses are ON! His behavior is not mature nor is it kind. You're short changing yourself putting him above YOURSELF. I know I've done this. Some how putting aside the fact you can find better and feel better! he is not a great guy.

It's a raw deal in that, it feels bad to be rejected for any reason. I would respect her feelings and not contact her again. One date. One kiss. It didn't work for her. it's not that uncommon. you've probably had a similar experience from her side of the experience. And it really sucks to let someone down. To have them keep trying only proves the point. It's more clear on their end of things and it more than likely has everything to do with them and nothing with you. I've been on both sides. You'll meet someone else. Hang in there, don't chase dead weight. You deserve a healthy and happy situation where both people reciprocate the feelings and excitement to see more of each other.

I agree with this. Accept that she has a problem. you know it. you don't need other people's approval. vent to a friend or keep posting here. write it out telling her off. You can't control her. only yourself. sure it hurts but people can and will hurt each other. hope she grows up but until then keep your distance

Sounds like not the best relationship and you're misplacing your feelings as the reason you're upset. Reading what you wrote, you have a lot to be upset about and should get out of this relationship and it's completely separate from the death of an ex.

Of course it is. Just like it might not be for some men and women. everything in life has nuances. There is no one way everybody is. but obviously in an anonymous advice forum, there is going to be generalizations. my point was and maybe I should lead with this- don't complain about lack of sex or make it like the other person owes it. look at yourself. what are you doing to attract your mate to want to have sex with you. man or woman.

I agree, especially with the feeding appreciated. it's emotional for women. when feeling cared for, safe works much better than begging for sex (not saying you are doing that.)

Aww. no. There was nothing you could have done "right" with this guy. I was like you. I'd keep walking on egg shells or quiet myself to keep the peace... no. that's not love. that's not life. It's not enough to just survive, to keep the peace. You deserve to thrive, love and celebrate through life. Reject the idea that getting away from this dud is a loss. It's a win! YOU WIN In my case, there were good times, at times but as time went on, the good times were few and far between. That's what I remember. How glad I am to be free. Hang in there, girlfriend. You can get through this, save yourself and come out the other side- BETTER! STRONGER! HAPPIER! I feel this so strongly, I wish i could like my own post lol

This is the part you need to work on. It's messed up that you're beating yourself up over this dynamic with your mom. Family dynamics are tough. We get into these roles and resentment can set in. I have gone through that myself. It's hard work and I work on it everyday to remind myself, I can't change them, but I can change me. I can say no. I can have boundaries. I can decide my family member is nuts and they don't handle things the way I do. Work on yourself to improve your own self image. you don't need your mom's approval. and I say that in kindness with the knowledge it's not easy and it won't happen over night. As adults we all realize at some point our parents are flawed, just like all of us. You're not perfect and you don't have to be. You're dying for mom's approval, she's dying for the gf's. You see how unnecessary her acts are, transfer that to your view of yourself.

Youre completely jealous that you have to share your family and your brother's partner is treated like family. Think about that. What do you think that means/says about you? You created the dynamic where you are contributing 1000%. you says she's done nothing. but the truth is, that's what family is. You were born. that's all you did to be in this family. It's not like a job you have to qualify for. It is normal that a daughter and a daughter in law (or serious partner that lives in) to be treated similarly. of course you and your mom have different relationship than the gf and your mom have. but your not a little girl. You should be working toward building your own life. and then when you have a partner, they would be treated as kindly. Isn't that what you want?

His parents are gaslighting you. I have been in your shoes- dealing with a bad temper, over the top rage and all that abuse. I whole heartedly take responsibility for allowing this to happen, for not dumping him the very first time and all the times after that I put up with it. And yes, some people did not see it. Did not understand it. They looked for a reason and blame that was anything but what it was... I was with a person that has no other way to deal with negative emotions than to express anger and rage, blame others, act like a child to get their way My advice is, you have to put all your energy into getting away from this person. Be strong for yourself! you have to choose you. Of course you reacted badly back to him. But that's all water under the bridge. You can heal from this but you can't heal with him or for him. You have to choose you.

yes, and LDRs are great for cheaters, liars, users...

Trust and believing another person is not about having proof. Almost a year together.... 4 months in he cheats... 4 months break... now 4 month's later another incident... sounds like a crappy 12 months. dump this guy. date local.

Any time we get rejected for any reason, it can makes us feel bad and question ourselves. Even when the person is obviously a nut. Anyone can reject another person for any reason, whether we think it's justified or not. So I would look at this as "hey, we are simply not compatible" and be kind to yourself. You have a lot to offer and this guy doesn't get to define you. Flip the script and be glad you dodged a bullet. You do not value the same things, so you would not mesh happily ever after. Chin up!

Hi @MrNobody1111 I have actually thought this and have said but rately... Go watch America Ferraro in the Barbie movie. She has a whole speech about the bs women are told from day one about every possible thing. so it's probably her criticism of her self not being perfect. There. I just explained women. lol. JK. did you think she talked to much?