whattheheck

Thanks for responding again. I have been thinking a lot about this subject the last week or so. And I truly feel I have a problem - I will NEVER EVER ask her these things, but I am always curious about what she has tried, where she has tried it, how "kinky" she may have been in the past, etc... I know it is a problem I have - it just gives me a sick feeling thinking of her and her past experiences. SO....Do you (or anyone else) have any ideas how to get over thinking about her past?

good question - I guess that's why i should not have asked in the first place.

YOKEYDOKEY - You didn't tell her? Why not? When my SO asks me, I never had a problem with telling my number? Why do you have to hide your number? Also, I agree with you - I aint no saint (as far as my past goes)

BTW, aren't most people curious about their bf/gf past? Or is it that most of you are curious and just don't ask? Just wondering, thanks.

what would you constitute as dirty or sleazy?? To some, her number might be really dirty and sleazy!!! And to some, my number might be extra dirty and sleazy!!! I guess it is all relative. But thank you for responding - I know this was a touchy subject. But most of you are correct - I really didn't solve a darn thing by asking her.

fnlyfrei - you seem a little sarcastic again. Let me clear this up - It is not exactly what I wanted to hear - I wasn't even sure what I wanted to hear. I didn't have a number in mind - i just wanted to know. And btw, she wanted to know too, and I answered. My whole point of the original thread was that I was curious, but did not want to ask - that is why it too kme so long to ask - because I' not sure if it was appropriate - that's all I was saying last week. And yes, it is important to me to know, but that is an issue of mine - wether good or bad - it's an issue I always had. anyway - I will never bring it up again.

You must have misread my post - I said she has lied about other unimportant things before - not about this subject. that is why I am wondering if she is telling the truth - I never said I was certain that she was lying. No, I didn't lie to her.

Well, thanks to all who responded last week to my thread. Anyway, I finally asked - and a lot of you wanted to know why I waited so long to ask - the reason is - I didn't want to ask, but I started wondering lately. That's just the way I am - when I fall for someone, I get curious about their past - it's an issue I always had. Anyway, we started talking a bit about our pasts, and I asked - she said she has been with 8 people, and a 4-5 more just oral. Well, she asked me too, and I told her the truth - 15 people, 4-5 more just oral. At first, she said that she was uncomfortable talking about it because she said she was afraid that her number would be way lower than mine, and she would get a little jealous of me and my past experiences. Anyway... To me, someone who is in mid to late 30's, and never been married, only two serious bf, would have had a higher number than 8, so I 'm not sure if I believe her, but I will never bring it up again - i just hope she is telling the truth, because she has told little white lies about other unimportant things before. So that is why I'm not sure if she is honest. BTW, I was non judgemental, and she wasn't either. She even said she wondered about my past, too. Anyway, that subject is over, but i just hope she is telling the truth. Any more input greatly appreciated.

fnlyfrei - You talk about trust - Then how come you say it's none of your SO business if he asks? You call that TRUST? Gimme a break!!!!

Lady - you are right

fnlyfrei - why are you so bitter? My whole point in this thread is that I DON"T want to ask her. But I am curious of her number, and would want to know if she has been with many, many guys.

why did you do oral so you didn't have to go all the way with them?

I agree with andyg. Countless oral???? Wow, that would definitley be a dealbreaker for me.

First of all, the only reason why I said in my first post that she would probably lie about the number of people she has been with , is because MOST WOMAN LIE about that. In fact, I know of a large number of females on this forum who DID lie to their Bf about their "number." So that is why I might not believe her. Anyway, I know she has been with others before me, and so have I, but I was just curious as to her "number."

Whew - you all are rough - I am just curious, and want to know. I feel I have a right to know. No, there is no magic number, but if a woman has been with 30-40 men before me, YES, that would be a dealbreaker. ANd it's so ridiculous how a lot of you women out there always say how "the past is the past" and how it is not important. I think those of you who do say it, are ASHAMED of your past, so it's easier to say that it isn't important. To all guys out there - would you want to marry a girl who has been with 50, 75, 100 guys? I SURE WOULD NOT!! Sex is special, so if there are too many partners, it is just not good - but that's is just MY opinion.